To All of Those I've Loved Before...

Back toward the end of July, I saw the culmination of a 15+ year goal I had set for myself. It's one of the few really long-term goals that I've ever spelled out, as most of the others are sort of nebulous; things like "Age with grace," or "Endure to the end" are more my style but don't have that really definitive moment when I can sigh with satisfaction and say, "DONE! What's next?"

This particular goal was written on a post-it note in my scriptures since about 1996, so every time I opened up to the Old Testament, there it was: "Find Elder Z- and thank him." We had had a Relief Society lesson about showing gratitude to those who do good to us, and his was the first name that popped forcefully into my mind.

The hard part was that I didn't know his first name. He was an elder who served in my home mission when I was just graduating from high school in Northern Minnesota (on a side note, what does a guy do when he gets his mission papers and then finds out he's going to exotic...Minnesota?? I actually had a couple college friends who served in that mission during the time I was home working and preparing to send in my own papers. They were kind enough to never tell me they were probably a little disappointed at first to get called to Minnesota instead of Japan or Brazil or Germany or somewhere exciting and less cold.) and he influenced me for good with his example. I didn't know him really well then, but I wanted to thank him for showing me that a person could literally be surrounded with the Spirit. That's what I wanted to be like.

Not knowing his name or where he was from made it pretty much impossible to find him until the advent of Facebook. It still didn't occur to me until just recently that I might actually possibly locate him, and I asked a good friend who also knew him what his first name was. Now Elder Z- and I are Facebook friends, and I was able to thank him for being a very positive influence on me. He was surprised but pleased that he had an effect on me, and we exchange the occasional message about family or business (he owns a bunch of websites for Google Adsense revenue, and some of them are very poorly written, apparently. He needs an editor.) I am very glad I could finally express my gratitude. I don't need him to be my best friend, but I'm glad we're friends and that he's happy with his life and still trying to do good in the world.

I tell you this because it was an important thing to me. I am extremely grateful for all the people in my life who show me a better way of being, who make me want to be the best person I can be, and who open my heart. It's like a literal punch in the gut when any of those people suddenly drops away for one reason or another, and there's a period of mourning; however, I'm so happy to be in contact with many whom I have loved over the years. If you're reading this, you can be pretty dang sure I love you and appreciate you.

Unless, of course, I don't know you at all and you're stalking my blog, in which case, say hi and we can become friends. :)