My Sense of Smell: Goodbye and Hello?

If I wasn't quite convinced before that I actually had Covid a couple weeks ago, I have my final proof: I have now lost my sense of smell.

It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but I do hope it comes back soon. I've been hearing horror stories of people who lost it for months or who have never gotten it back. 

I thought it was odd a few days ago when I was making Indian butter chicken that I couldn't smell the spices. Indian food creates a party in your nose before it becomes a party in your mouth, but, for me, the party just wasn't getting started. Husband came down the stairs into the kitchen while I was cooking and said, "That smells really good," and I, who had been practically sticking my entire face into the pot because I was puzzled by the fact that I couldn't smell the usually heavenly mix of spices even though my nose was tingling from the ginger- and garlic-infused steam, was even more confused. Later, when we ate, I found it all very bland, but I chalked it up to not having used enough spices.

A day later, I was getting ready for work and spritzed on a bit of perfume, which I belatedly noticed didn't seem to have any scent. I was in a hurry, so I soon forgot it as I got into the car and started charting out my day in my head. 

At work, however, it finally sunk in. I was drinking a soda that was supposed to taste like cherry, but I could only barely tell that it was sweet. All the little oddities over the past couple days suddenly came together and I had a realization. 

"Griff!" I shouted to my boss, "I've lost my sense of smell!" 

Griff ran out of his office. "Really? No way! Here, use this sanitizer and see if you can smell it." 

We have hand sanitizer dispensers that were installed by our employer last year, but the sanitizer smells so awful that no one uses it. I had to buy a few pump bottles of sanitizer just so people would be able to sanitize their hands without gagging. I squirted some of the awful stuff on my hands, rubbed it in, and then brought my hands to my face. 

Nothing. My gag reflex remained completely unstimulated.

"Ugh!" said Griff, making a face. "I can smell it from here!" 

Griff was excited because I'm the first person he knows who has actually lost her sense of smell due to Covid, and my willingness to talk about it and experiment had us both going around smelling things to observe my reactions. When the regional director, Shane, walked through the door a couple minutes later, Griff told him about our little experiment, and then Shane got excited and started asking me questions about what it was like to not be able to smell. I also told them about my diminished sense of taste, which made them a little sad for me. 

Update: it's been about a week since I first wrote this, and tonight, after my shower, I used some scented hand lotion and I COULD SMELL IT! Before tonight, I couldn't. This is a very promising development. I couldn't smell skunk yesterday, which didn't bother me. Maybe I'll get my sense of smell back only for the lovely smells and not for the gaggious ones (yes, I made that up). 

Natural Immunity

 Today is Day 3 of having tested positive for Covid-19, Day 5 of coming down with flu-like symptoms. 

Oh, the politics of not having had a Covid jab and then getting sick and testing positive! 

If you're in my position, you know that some people in this country are sincerely hoping we'll die for our sin of not getting the shots. Fortunately, no one I personally know has been that cruel to my face, but I still find it disheartening the implication from well-meaning people that if I had just had the jabs, I wouldn't be sick now--as if anyone could know that sort of thing. There is a lot of vitriol going on right now, however. Can you ever think of a time when people actually and sincerely hoped that others would be denied medical care and die in a horrible, terrible manner just because they were reluctant to get experimental injections and wanted to wait and see? To wish others to die horribly in order to be proven right...what a weird time to be alive.

Here's why I haven't had a Covid injection:

1. I'm highly, highly skeptical of shots that have not gone through rigorous safety testing--usually for ten years before being approved by the FDA (the credibility of the FDA is another story, of course) and used on the public. After researching the subject, I'm also highly skeptical of mRNA shots being successful (and any shots being successful against a coronavirus!) when they have never been successfully developed before in all the decades people have been trying to make them. In previous mRNA studies, the animals used in the studies have all died, and now, suddenly, we have "safe and effective" mRNA shots in less than a year!? I think I have done enough serious research to justify my own desire to wait and see. I also think that data from Israeli studies has justified my skepticism to a large degree where American data is skewed to fit a specific narrative. Setting aside all my other worries about government power grabs and the desire to resist having medical procedures forced upon anyone, not just myself, the data alone seems to be bearing out the idea that natural immunity is more broad and longer-lasting than the immunity to specific spike proteins provided by the jabs, the jabs also carrying with them some risk of short- and long-term negative side effects--some of which may only show up in the next few years. 

2. I have a strong immune system despite being middle-aged and overweight. Before this last week, I haven't needed to take a sick day for over five years. I didn't take one sick day last year, and I never took a sick day during the entire four-and-a-half years when I was driving a school bus. There are other things going on with me, but catching every bug that comes along has never been one of them. I decided that the risk of getting sick with Covid was more acceptable to me than the risk of getting the jabs and then possibly still getting sick with Covid. The injections seemed to pose more possibility of injury than the risks of Covid for my particular situation. Just before I got sick last Saturday, I had a bout of severe diarrhea which I think lowered my immune resistance. I know: ew! You didn't want to know that. But if people who are not medical doctors are going to lecture me like they are medical doctors, then they're going to hear medical doctor kind of stuff. (I'm sorry if you got caught in the crossfire there.)

3. Most importantly, twice now I have had strong spiritual warnings to not take the jabs (though I'm not saying that is the right answer for everyone). 

The first time was when my parents were getting the J&J jab earlier this year. My mom had been praying really hard about it, and that was the one she felt overwhelmingly that she and my dad needed to get. My mom has great spiritual acuity, so I thought, "Well, if Mom feels that way, I'll get the J&J jab, too," but as soon as I thought it, the Spirit slammed through me with a definitive, "NO!" When my seminary faculty all ran off to get the shots the moment they were available, I didn't make a big deal out of it but I did quietly explain why I wouldn't be joining them. They didn't agree with me, but they didn't argue with me. The fact that others might doubt my spiritual answers when they are convinced their own decisions are correct for everyone doesn't make me any less obligated to follow my own spiritual promptings. Yes, there is plenty of peer pressure among Church members, too, but no one should follow anyone else blindly.

The second time was after the LDS Church's First Presidency message was released urging members to get the jabs, stating that they are "safe and effective." I admit that I was initially stunned and even angry about that. I had read enough about some of the serious adverse events of these injections to be shocked that the prophet (a brilliant and highly sought after heart surgeon in his former career) and other leaders could make a blanket statement about experimental mRNA injections being safe and effective, and even more stunned that they came out with a directive about it at all instead of urging members to carefully study and pray about their own personal circumstances, consulting with their medical doctors, and making their own decisions. Husband and I had a few very long talks about my feelings of betrayal in that regard, but he is wise and helped me set aside my emotion and think through things logically. In the end, I realized that I would rather be humble before the Lord than arrogantly tell Him what I think should happen and then suffer the consequences of being incredibly short-sighted. I do, however, always reserve the right to pray about and get confirmation from the Lord through the Spirit on anything the Church leaders have to say. It took a little doing, but I did put myself into the mindset of humility, successfully identifying and releasing the fear of having been proven wrong in front of others and, thus, suffering a severe blow to my pride. I was ready to get injected if that's what the Lord asked of me. So I went to the Lord in prayer and humbly asked if I should get injected. I can say I was honestly ready to do so. In fact, I expected to be told to do so. But the Spirit said, "No, not right now." It wasn't as forceful as the first time, but it was still a solid no. 

Days later, I started feeling flu-ey. Today, after having survived a few days of mild flu symptoms (low-grade fever, muscle aches, overly sensitive skin, earache, stuffy/runny nose, and a cough), I have slightly stuffy sinuses and a bit of a chesty cough left to deal with. I am hoping that I will not have any long-term repercussions other than natural immunity, and I judge no one else for either choosing to get the injections or choosing not to. I also don't claim to know the reasons for the "no" answers and my own bout with Covid. I am not trying to prove anything here. I'm just trying to do what's right. 

I can go back to work next Tuesday. As this was the second week of school, it was definitely not a great time to have to quarantine as the administrative assistant, and my faculty have had to pick up a lot of my slack even if I'm trying to do as much as possible from home. Husband is allowed to continue working, but he has to wear an N95 mask until next Thursday, poor man. He's finding it hard to breathe, much less teach, in one of those. Little Gary had to quarantine with me until next Monday, when he can go back to school. Elannah works outside all day, away from anybody, so she didn't even bother telling her work that I tested positive. Joseph studies at home, so this hasn't had much of an impact on him.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this long blog post, I have some really good news: my oldest daughter, Siân, officially announced her pregnancy. She is now into the second trimester, but after having suffered a couple miscarriages, she and Nathan wanted to wait a bit before announcing the pregnancy this time. I am so excited to be a grandmother again! I am excited to see my little grandson be a big brother. I love babies!