Pictures

 A few weeks ago, I went with Sophia, Elannah, and Sophia's future mother-in-law to see the wedding venue Sophia is in love with. The venue is situated up on the benches above the string of cities spanning Utah Valley, and the view is lovely--even in winter!

Fun fact:we live on the other side of that mountain range. 

The reception hall (which is located on a golf course) has floor-to-ceiling windows, a massive fireplace, and a kitchen in which to prepare the fully loaded nacho boats and cotton candy cones that Sophia and Matt want to serve. Sophia wanted lots of windows, and there are really no actual walls--just windows. She'll have the ceremony in front of the fireplace, though it will be far too hot to have a fire going. Outside, there are wide patios, broad lawns, and a picturesque gazebo. We've got the place booked for July 9. 

Sophia's fiancé, Matt, didn't come with us. He really doesn't care where the wedding is or if there are lots of windows; his mother, on the other hand, was ecstatic to be invited along, as Matt is her only child and he does not get excited about floofy things like wedding venues and gorgeous centerpieces. Fortunately, she and Sophia get along very well, and she's just excited to be able to be involved in all the fun parts of the wedding.

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A couple weeks ago, Sian brought her mother- and father-in-law to visit. We haven't seen them since the kids got married, and they're really great people, so we spent a lovely afternoon having lunch together and then taking Tyler to the park. 

Fun fact: Husband just got special contact lenses to fit over his pointy corneas, and now he doesn't have to wear those glasses anymore!

Tyler played non-stop for two hours and was a little disappointed when we finally had to go, though he was ready for a nap. Husband forgot his coat, so he was freezing by that point, but Sian bundled up Tyler nice and snug, though I'm not sure he would have noticed the cold much anyway. 

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One of our former seminary students came to visit the faculty at the seminary the other day. She was leaving for her mission the next day, so I took a picture of her with the faculty that was readily available. We put the photo in the slide show that plays on the TV in the lobby.

Kim (left), the newly minted sister missionary, Griff, and Neil. Not pictured: Tanner and Skyler. Fun fact: Griff and Skyler both attended the high school we're connected to.

Calm down: they only had their masks off for a couple minutes while I took this photo. 

That is all. I just wanted to share a few pics with you today.

The Light! It Burns!

 I have found, over time, that I have a plethora of fears, but what I didn't know is that I also have raging photophobia.

Photophobia is an "abnormal intolerance to visual perception of light," according to the people at Wikipedia, and they're not wrong in this case. I like seeing things as much as the next gal, but I prefer to see things whilst wearing shades. I like my lights on a dimmer switch. To be clear, though, I do not run screaming in fear if someone switches on a light. My photophobia has not yet turned me into a vampire.

I believe it all stems back to a brilliantly sunny winter's day in Northern Minnesota, circa 1985. Young Eva had just been to the eye doctor, who dilated her pupils to their full extent before sending her off into the great outdoors with no eye protection at all (she was inexperienced enough not to know to ask for those little curly sunglasses). As she sat in the back of the car, thrilling at how brightly the unfettered sun gleamed against the blurry newly fallen white snow, she had no idea that in the future, that same sight would cause piercing headaches unless she wore sunglasses (and sometimes even then). 

As an adult, I installed black-out curtains on the windows in my bedroom, and I don't necessarily open them even during the day when I am alone. Husband does because he is not overly sensitive to light and he loves how much light pours into our south-facing windows, but then I feel like I want to grab my sunglasses and wear them inside my own bedroom. I've always felt weird about that. I guess I had a reason for it, though.

WebMD states that photophobia might also be more strongly prevalent in people with anxiety, among other mental health conditions. Chicken or egg? I don't feel like I was an overly anxious kid, but I've certainly upped my anxiety levels in later life. Does one affect the other? And which way is it? 

Of course, the need to always wear sunglasses outdoors is not a huge burden. It's merely inconvenient. What is a huge burden is that I cannot handle fluorescent or LED bulbs for long periods of time because I'm incredibly sensitive to the flicker. Like, abnormally intolerant of it. I have never liked fluorescent lights (who does?), but I did not know I had this much of an issue until I began working in an office lit by fluorescent lights. At first it wasn't a problem; but over time, I noticed that I was growing nauseated after a few hours of walking into work--and then after just a few minutes--and the nausea didn't let up until after I left work. I felt like I was morning sick all the time but without the eventual reward of an adorable baby to show for it. 

Finally, I figured it out. It's the lights! The next day, I brought in and set up a couple table lamps with incandescent bulbs and kept the overhead fluorescent lights off, et voila! Problem solved! No more nausea! My office looks like a dark little cozy cave with just the two lamps (so far), but I added a big fake tree (which will soon be festooned with fairy lights) and am almost finished with my other plant-related office decor, so my office will soon look like a dark little cozy forest glen. It's especially full of ambience when I play quiet study music. I will add a couple floor lamps as soon as possible, but my boss wanted to see if the facilities management boss would approve the cost of those (claiming medical needs) before I go out and buy them on my own. For now, however, I crouch, contented, in my little cave, visited frequently by curious seekers of wisdom, who peer in at the crone through the cave's murky portal before asking her for answers to their questions about life. Well, I'm visited by the students, anyway, who need to know which classes they're in. And Maria, the building cleaner, never, ever lets my office windows get murky. But it's still a mood.

What's annoying is that I now can't even eat my lunch in the empty classroom that we use as a lunchroom without getting nauseated after a few minutes, and not just because the talk occasionally turns political. My intolerance increases. To the fluorescents, I mean. I don't mind the political talk, really.

So does my anxiety level determine my photophobia? Or does my exposure to fluorescent lighting increase my anxiety? Being constantly nauseated increased my stress, of course, and I definitely feel less stressed now that I look forward to feeling fine all day at work, yet my sensitivity to the flicker of fluorescents increases. So I don't know if this is a philosophical problem or a purely physical problem. I'm just happy that I no longer spend the majority of my day preventing my stomach from turning inside out.

Untitled, ca. 1980

 I just found a story I wrote when I was nine years old. It started out with promise, but I can only think that I was in a silly mood and ran out of time near the end. Plus, I was nine, so...

I have edited only by putting in paragraphs. The original was written in one big block.

Once upon a time, there was a supply that was becoming extinct. The county judge gave an order to supply the supply. But the trouble was, they (the people) didn't know what the supply was, so they couldn't supply it. 

One day a brave girl went before the judge. "Have they supplied the supply yet?" asked the judge. 

"Your honor," the girl was really trembling. "We have tried you honor, but please we don't know what the supply is!" was the reply. 

Here the judge interrupted long enough to say, "Sir, get me grape jelly." Then the judge laughed and said to the girl, "Silly, the supply is eggs!"

Much relieved that the supply wasn't something like food, she ran out to tell the people. On the way she met a clumsy lad and she said, "Lad, it's your duty to restore that supply." And to which the boy answered, "How am I to know what the supply is?" To which the girl answered, "Nincompoop! It's eggs. Now run along and tell the rest of them!"

The clumsy lad ran off, fell down the hill, picked himself up and he was off again. 

The girl had an idea. She ran to a place and wrote out a lot of signs that said "Silly, the supply is eggs!" Then drawing a picture of the judge, she taped the sayings on trees. 

An hour later, a crazy lady came by and saw the sign. She gave it one look and sat down ready to lay eggs. 

"Oh dear!" thought the girl. "Oh well, she is a bit crazy!"

The town got its eggs, but then a problem came up. A thief was fined for stealing a cooky. Being noisy he had been found out. But the dish of cookies were lonely because that cooky had been eaten. Then there was envy. And people were greedy, mostly the people in the navy. The girl was all pity. But she couldn't do a thing. 

But everything turned out right in the end.

The End.

What?? Did the town get the eggs because the crazy lady laid them? Did the dish of lonely cookies tattle on the cookie thief, and is that how he got caught and fined? Are people in the navy more inherently greedy than others? And why? And how did everything turn out right in the end? 

Did I really use the word "nincompoop" when I was nine?

I give myself points for spelling, punctuation and grammar, and being an obvious fan of English literature even at that age. The plot, however, is weak and needs work. 

The Original High School Musical (Only It's Junior High).

 Long ago, I posted the movie Junior High School (1978) on this blog. It was a movie that I and my friends used to watch and laugh about in the late '80s. It was removed by YouTube after I posted it, but now it's back! Watch it again and again! You'll never be the same!

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Not Tooting My Own Horn

 Christmas was wonderful, and my mother loved her gift. Well, she will when she finally sits down to read it. She's not a woman who sits around a whole bunch.

It was lovely to have a break for Christmas and New Years, and even though I love my job, it was with dread that I set my alarm for way too early on the morning of the 4th. I tend to slide very quickly into night owl habits, given the opportunity, and then it's difficult to sort out my sleeping schedule so that I arrive at work with my brain cells firing on any cylinders at all. 

I had an interesting conversation with my boss last week. I had to ask him a question about something that fell under his purview as principal and it led to a thorough explanation on his part as to why he has treated me as he has since I have been hired, which is very well. He has always (as have all the faculty) treated me with kindness and respect. Griff treats me like an adult and has never tried to micro-manage me. All of the faculty have always expressed gratitude for everything that I try to do to support them in their jobs as teachers, even for little things like making photocopies. That has sometimes baffled me, as I don't feel I have done anything extraordinary. I am, after all, just fulfilling my job description. Still, it's very nice to feel appreciated.

Because no one gossips or speaks poorly of anyone else who has ever worked in the seminary building, I had no idea of what had gone on with the previous administrative assistant except for some hints I gleaned from some non-critical passing comments. What a blessing to work in a place where backbiting is not a thing! I had, however, worried that I wasn't doing enough because I didn't know what to compare my performance to. 

The previous assistant is a very nice woman (I met her when she trained me), but Griff explained that as systems and procedures changed over the years, she had failed (refused) to learn the new ways of doing things and had relied more and more on the faculty to either help her or do it for her. Though her job was to support the faculty so they could do their jobs as teachers, it ended up with the faculty having to shoulder more and more of the burden of her job. Griff felt that previous principals and faculty bore some of the responsibility for that as they had been too willing to step in, and that had made it too easy for the previous assistant to not have to learn what she needed to. Therefore, explained Griff, he had made a conscious effort as the new principal to back off and let me be completely autonomous in my job so that I would figure it out and not feel that I had to (or could) rely on him or others to do the job correctly. 

It worked. The result has been that I feel empowered to make a few mistakes because Griff has never been breathing down my neck. When I have questions, I go to my supervisor (the region administrative assistant) or ask other, more experienced, administrative assistants from around the region to give me advice. Every once in a while, I'll ask Neil or Skyler (faculty members) a technical question, and they are happy to show me what to do, but 99% of the time, I try to figure it out without going to them. I have had some quietly hair-raising moments--especially with the budget sheets--that I either figured out myself or went with to my supervisor for help, but I have never asked Griff or any of the faculty to help me on that. It's not their job.

Griff said I am a breath of fresh air. I do everything I can to support the faculty, I'm happy to do it, and I am willing to figure out new solutions when needed. He likes that I often voluntarily attend their faculty meetings so that I know what it is the faculty is trying to do so that I can support them in doing it. I do my job effectively so that he and the faculty can concentrate on their jobs, which is teaching the gospel to teenagers. This explains what I felt was sometimes excessive gratitude for the often simple tasks I do. It also explains why one of the faculty members keeps bringing me my favorite soda. He mentioned once that he never dared ask the previous assistant to make copies. I thought he was joking (he didn't explain further), but Griff confided in me that the previous assistant did not make copies. What a weirdo. Making copies is fun because you get a nice little reward for pushing a few buttons, and as a bonus you get to get out of your chair and walk into another room. It's easy! Not like when it takes you a few hours to realize that there is a mistake in the Excel formula that is causing all your headaches with the budget sheet.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here. I'm really not. But that conversation was a real boost. There are two unreasonable and unhelpful fundamental beliefs I can't seem to shake that color every decision I make. The first one is that I am wrong. Doesn't matter what it is, I will expect that I am wrong. (I'll talk about the second one another time, but maybe you'll get lucky and I'll forget to bring it up again.) 

To find out I am not wrong, that I am, in actual fact, doing most things right (in this job, at least. The rest of my life? Hmmm...) always seems to be a startling and suspect conclusion to come to. But Griff let me feel like I'm not just imagining that I'm doing well, I really am! Bless his cotton socks. For a kid, he is a very good leader. Okay, he's 35. Not a kid. But he's still young to me.

I do enjoy my job. It has easy, simple aspects and it has challenging, mentally stimulating aspects. I get to do a wide variety of tasks in a day, and in those moments when I don't have anything to do, I can study the gospel. I work with the seminary faculty, the students, the students' parents, and some of the administration at the high school, each of which requires a slightly different set of communication skills. I have an entire office with a door! I have a supervisor who is very supportive and helpful so I that don't feel afraid to ask stupid questions. The faculty treats me kindly and with respect and even joke around with me. When I go home, work stays at work. I liked driving a preschool bus, but I absolutely love this job. 

#blessed