The Symphony of People

 My new principal and I are finding our rhythm, and the new faculty are meshing very nicely together, so work is as pleasant as it has ever been, even if I sometimes miss people who have moved away and moved on. 

The school district is building a new high school in our burg, which will make two high schools for the town instead of just the one we currently have. There are high schools located in each of the three major towns in our valley, but population in all three of the towns (as well as the even more rural townlets) has been exploding for about three years now with no sign of letting up. New homes and apartment complexes are sprouting like mushrooms where there were once pastures and fields, and traffic has become nightmarish on the main streets during rush hour; the influx of new cars and drivers has far outpaced any city planning efforts to provide adequate alternate routes to reduce the burden on the main thoroughfares, though it's still nothing like The Big City. Yet. 

The new high school will siphon off students from our high school and the one in the next town, and I'm fascinated to see what it will do to the demographic of our current high school, whose boundaries are pretty much land-locked from new residential construction. The construction of the new high school will also mean the construction of a new seminary building, which has interesting implications. The new seminary will face the new temple that is under construction a few blocks away. Wouldn't that be a grand view to have at work every day? Plus, Husband works at the elementary school nearest the new high school, so we could, conceivably, have lunch together sometimes if I were to end up at the new seminary.

But all that is still a year or so away at this point. There have not been any mentions (to me, at least) of what my employer may decide about who will staff the new seminary. I'm not very fussed about it anyway. Stay or leave, I will be fine.

A student kept me late after work yesterday because of some angst-driven questions he wanted to pose to me. I would have shooed him out much earlier except that this seemed like one of those conversations that would mean something significant to him and needed to happen. Since I didn't have to leave right away, and because the principal was also able to stay in the building, I allowed it.

He struggled to put into words what he was wondering in his heart.

"Do you think we are replaceable?" he asked, a little hitch in his voice.

"What do you mean?" I said. "Say more about that."

He screwed up his face while he thought a bit, and because his face was flushed, I could tell he was asking something that was making him feel vulnerable and a little emotional.

"I mean, are we really each unique? Wouldn't you find tons of people like me anywhere?"

"Are you asking if we are replaceable as part of a group? Like just one of many in a crowd? Or are you asking if you or I have such especially unique qualities that the lack of any one of us would be felt in the world?"

It was the latter question he wanted to have answered. My heart felt for him. What teenager with any ounce of self-reflection does not ask him- or herself those questions (I know I did): Am I really anything special? Would the fact that I didn't exist make any difference? I can't imagine there is anything particularly special about me, so aren't I just...replaceable?

This kid is not depressed or suicidal, but he does have the normal amount of angsty teen self-doubt. I'm sure something must have happened amongst his friend group to cause him to worry about this right now, though he didn't tell me what, and I didn't ask. He seemed just emotional enough that me asking might cause him to cry and embarrass himself.

I always pray that the Lord will just put words into my mouth when I'm talking to students because I never want to prattle on and on without offering any insights or help. Teens are generally self-absorbed enough to be mostly only interested in delving into their own psyches, not anyone else's, such as mine. As an older adult, I accept that I am not viewed as particularly fascinating by the youngsters except in the way I am willing to listen to them talk about themselves and take them seriously. Most teens have yet to challenge their childish belief that we adults simply pop into existence, fully formed, the moment they happen to need something from us, that we have no pasts as children, teens, or young adults, that we have no relevant or interesting adventures or insights to share. I find that amusing because I remember thinking like that when I was young.

I'm sometimes very surprised by what comes out of my mouth during these conversations, but I know it's not me being in any way brilliant. The Lord brings things to mind as I'm talking (talking as briefly as possible, hopefully), and suddenly I am pulling in scripture and words of the prophets--things I've studied and pondered myself--during our conversations and making connections I wouldn't necessarily have put together under pressure except in situations like these. 

I won't bore you with the details of the rest of this conversation (it lasted a good hour), and I know that I didn't fully convince him that he is precious and unique and that his Heavenly Father is very ready to tell him so when he makes up his mind to ask earnestly and then listen. He will have to feel like he is worth enough to ask God to tell him if he is worth enough, which might take a bit. But he did listen to me, and I listened to him, and perhaps knowing he is heard will be enough to get him through until our next conversation. I obviously pointed him toward his parents, as well. Sometimes talking to a non-parent adult adds a little layer of insulation between a kid and his feelings, but I always want kids to find a reason to confide in their parents to any degree they can. 

Today I had a completely different kind of conversation with another student, a young woman with whom I have become good friends but who had to drop seminary this semester in favor of academic courses so that she would have enough credits to graduate this year. She told me that she had dropped her friend group for the most part because they didn't go to classes or do their homework or care about any of it, and when she hung out with them, that's what she did, too. She made the decision to earn her diploma, so she decided she had to make a break with them so she could accomplish her goals. 

She impressed me even more during our conversation. She is not a baptized member of our church, though her aunt brought her to church since she was little, and she did attend seminary for multiple semesters. She is a Christian, she said, and she worships Jesus Christ as the only way to salvation. She is disappointed in Christians of any denomination who think they merely need to check off some boxes to prove their worthiness for heaven but also feel the need to denigrate and condemn to hell any person who does not adhere to their particular brand of Christianity. She just wants everyone to look to Christ for salvation, not to box-checking or mere external rule-following. She hopes all of us Christians can someday find our common ground and band together as brothers and sisters, lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down as the world becomes more and more opposed to Christ. 

Wow! She is a light on a hill, that one. Love that girl. I was so glad she dropped by to see me today.

Now it is time to make dinner and hang out with my husband, children, and grandchildren. I have a wonderful life. 

(One last point of wonder: the youngest member of our faculty, Michael, and I were talking at lunch about writing, which is something he loves to do. We both said at the same time, "I love the Oxford comma!" Happy sigh. Oxford comma fans of the world, unite!)

England Trip Recap

 The two best purchases we made in the U.K. were a super-king-size duvet and duvet cover and a couple coats--all of which we managed to bring back to the U.S., even if it meant leaving some things behind in order to make room in our luggage (bath towels, a pair of my shoes that were pretty worn anyway, toiletries that are easily replaced). Worth it. It's amazing how much stuff you can pack into a couple carry-ons and a suitcase when you use vacuum bags.

The trip to England was fantastic. I had so much fun! The cottage we rented was well-equipped and comfortable, almost all of Husband's siblings and parents were around at all times, and we all got along very well. Best of all, my MIL was feeling well enough during the trip to accompany the rest of us on many of our day trips to various towns and villages, including on our trip to Wales to visit the family's old stomping grounds in Pencoed. 

I won't bore you with all the details. Here are some pictures instead. 

MIL and the twins in the high street in Bradford-upon-Avon.

Looking up the hill in Bradford-on-Avon. To the left of the bridge that spans the Avon River, you can see the spire of the town cathedral. At the top of the hill, you can barely make out the tiny Norman church we climbed up to see.

Sign outside one of the bakeries in Bradford. The price for a custard slice got a little steep since the last time I was in England.

If the building doesn't look like it's about to fall down, you're entering something built after the 1500s, and what's the fun in that?

Bradford on Avon from the top of the hill, which was an exhausting climb. We trudged up endless steep cobbled lanes to a tiny, ancient Norman church built of stone to get these pictures. The interior of the church was about the size of a large master bedroom, so we stepped in and took some photos there, too. After we had carefully navigated the steep streets back down to the town center, one of Husband's brothers realized he had left his European man bag (murse?) in the church, and it contained his car keys, the key to our rental house, his phone, and his wallet. He took off running back up the hill and made it into the church, desperately huffing and puffing, just as two women were going through the bag to try and figure out whose it was. They didn't appear to be trying to steal anything, but he never removed his bag from his shoulder after that. I couldn't even tease him about his European man bag because it was made of quality leather, and he made it look very fashionable.

In Bradford, we visited a tiny little book store on the high street. We asked the proprietor if we could see his used books, and he directed us through the a dark hallway to the back door and up here (see above video). I found a 1946 set of The Forsyte Saga trilogy, by John Galsworthy, and a little leather-bound edition of Hard Times, by Charles Dickens. Neither of these editions is worth much (the trilogy was £5 and the Dickens was £2.50), but I love the books themselves, so I was happy to bring them home. 

King Alfred's Kitchen on the high street in Shaftesbury. King Alfred built an abbey in Shaftesbury in 888 A.D., so the town does play up the connection to one of England's most famous kings.

Shaftesbury high street

Shaftesbury cathedral on the left

Behind the cathedral in the above photos is a place commonly called Hovis Hill, though its real name is Gold Hill. Hovis is actually a brand of bread, and the Hovis Bread company filmed what became a very iconic commercial on this hill in 1973, which was directed by Ridley Scott (everyone has to start somewhere!). 

I started calling this group the Barbour shop quartet. Left to right: Brad (Husband's next youngest brother), Matt (Daniel's twin), FIL, and Daniel (Matt's twin). The running joke throughout the week was that Daniel, who loves a particular style of coat made by Barbour, managed to convince the other three to buy similar coats, despite the eyebrow-raising price (I think Brad bought his in Bath earlier in the week for nearly £200, or around $240 with the recent conversion rates). Barbour produces high-quality waxed jackets, whose outer canvas layer is infused with a layer of wax in order to repel water--useful in a very wet climate like England's or Indiana's (I wore one during my mission, and it was very good at keeping me dry). It's a sensible purchase, though you kind of end up looking like a wealthy farmer--especially coupled with a flat cap like Brad is wearing. We told Brad all he needed now was a shotgun over his arm and some big black wellies (galoshes), and he'd be set. Anyway, on this day, we ended up making two separate visits to the Barbour store on the high street in Shaftesbury, and both Matt and FIL made their own purchases. Husband was tempted by the family peer pressure, but I reminded him that we live in a desert with very little rain, whereas his brothers and father live in far wetter climates. Husband came to his senses and bought a SuperDry coat instead that he found later in the week at an outlet mall for a much, much better price of £35 (about $40).

Husband snapped this pic and told me that he was now re-thinking his life. What it actually means is that drivers should be aware of a change in traffic direction ahead. 

Bath Cathedral. All buildings in Bath are required to be built in this yellowish Bath stone. Even new buildings in the town center have a facade of this stone so that everything looks cohesive.

Bath street with double-decker buses. The red one is a tourist bus with open-air seating on the top level. The weather that day alternated between overcast but chilly and rainy and chilly--not a good day to be riding around in the open, though we walked everywhere. 

The Sally Lunn house is purported to be the oldest house still standing in Bath. 

The above video shows a tiny little square we visited before going into the Bath Sweet Shop, where I bought some Parma Violets on sale for 50p each. The shop itself was so shallow that there was barely enough room for us to come in off the street and stand in front of the counter.

Pulteney Bridge spans the Avon River and has shops built into it the full length. You can see that some of the windows have been bricked in. Brad explained that in the 1690s, King William III decided to raise money by taxing the number of windows in a house, so people started boarding up and bricking in excess windows. This is when the phrase "daylight robbery" originated, since the king was literally robbing the people of the chance to have daylight in their dwellings.

I just loved the name of this restaurant, though it made me remember nearly biting into a slug while eating a salad from our garden when I was a teen--and I had washed the lettuce thoroughly! 10/10 wouldn't eat here for that reason alone.

The high street in Marlborough. This was my least favorite visit as it was a Saturday, the town center was packed, and the weather was more unpleasant than usual. Also, we were all hungry, and there was no place to eat--or the places had shut down for the afternoon.

The nice thing about visiting Marlborough was that we met up with Husband's oldest brother, Warren, his wife, and his two sons, whom I had never met. Left to right: Husband, Toby (Matt's oldest son), Brad, Matt, Daniel, Ronan (Warren's youngest), Corie (Warren's oldest), Julianne (Warren's wife), Warren, MIL, and FIL

Pencoed, Wales, town centre. In Wales, all signs are written in Welsh first and then English.

The fateful roundabout in Pencoed where Husband and Brad were knocked off their bike by a car when Husband was 11 and Brad was 9. Brad's knee was dislocated, and Husband's femur snapped. He was rushed to the hospital, where he was put in traction. He was in so much pain, but the doctors kept telling him to just deal with it until his mother stepped in and demanded another x-ray based on the fact that Husband is not a whiner about pain. The x-ray showed that some tissue had become caught in between the jagged ends of his femur bone. A quick surgery fixed the problem, and Husband was able to heal properly after that, though the long hospital stay while he was in traction was boring beyond belief.

Overlooking the pool at the leisure center where Husband, Brad, and Warren spent hours and hours as kids practicing with their team, the Pencoed Pirates. There is "good" old and "shabby" old in Britain. This building was shabby old, as many places seem to be. Still, the nostalgia for Husband and his brothers was strong.

Ogmore Castle ruins in Wales. Husband's family made many visits to Ogmore Castle and Ogmore Beach during their growing up years. 

Husband on the Ogmore Castle ruins. 

27 years ago, on the lawn inside this wall, our oldest daughter, Siân, who had just turned 1 year old, said the word "flower" for the first time. She had just toddled over to pick a daisy from the grass. We were all properly amazed. It was a little surreal to be in the same spot remembering that moment now that Siân has two little children of her own, with one on the way. At the time of this picture, it was flooding in many parts of Wales and Southern England due to heavy rains (that river in the background is flooded over its banks). The moat that originally surrounded this castle was filled with water, which Husband and his siblings had never seen before.

Ogmore Beach, looking south to the estuary of the Ewenny River that runs along the coast and empties into the Atlantic Ocean. This was one of the favorite spots for Husband's family to spend time in the summer. 

Group shot at Ogmore Beach. Left to right: Tiffany (Husband's only sister), Derek (Tiff's husband), Daniel, FIL, Matt, MIL, Brad, Husband, and Benjamin (the youngest of the siblings). It was an incredibly windy, cold day. I run pretty warm, but even I had to button up my coat against the gale-force winds coming off the ocean.

When you go to England, you make a special effort to sample as many of the delicious cheeses as you can.

The gang at Gregg's Bakery at a MacArthur Glen outlet mall in Wales on our way back to England. We had already consumed our pasties and sausage rolls, exhausted after a long day of driving, walking, and shopping. 

A full English breakfast, though it's missing the fried tomatoes. You've got a rasher of bacon, sausage, potato wedge, beans, fried bread, mushroom, and a fried egg. 

Everyone enjoying a full English breakfast at a Toby Carvery restaurant. From left to right: Daniel, Matt, and Husband.

Toby Carvery. From left to right: Brad, Benjamin, and Daniel.

Spotted this monstrosity at the grocery store. Peanut butter in England is not sweet like it is in the U.S., so it is considered a savory food. Most Brits would gag at the thought of pairing peanut butter with jam in a sandwich, so I guess this pairing makes sense in a horrible, nightmarish way.

The main living room of the Mews Cottage in Trowle, England, where we stayed for the week. It was a lovely place to stay, with five bedrooms (it could sleep fifteen people), two bathrooms, two living rooms (with a little alcove with a pullout couch in the small living room), and a large kitchen. The back garden was also lovely, though we never got to enjoy it due to the weather.

Husband's family (almost) all together for the first time in 30 years, minus Warren (Brad is holding up his phone with a picture of Warren). Left to right, front row: Daniel, FIL, MIL, Tiffany. Back row: Husband, Brad, Matt, and Benjamin.

MIL with Tiffany's children. Left to right: Kimmy, Abby, Eleanor, James, and Luke.

Warren's rebaptism. His father baptized him. I was not able to attend this because of some car troubles, but Daniel sang, Matt spoke, and Husband gave his mother a powerful blessing after the ceremony.

FIL and MIL. I love this photo because it captures FIL's wry humor and MIL's love and adoration for her husband. 

It was a lovely trip, and, like I said, MIL had some very good days and was able to join us on our adventures (not all of which I have documented here, you're welcome). Unfortunately, since that time, MIL has not done well. She recently had a colostomy bag installed because the tumor has wrapped around her bowels and stopped their ability to operate, and she is in constant, debilitating pain. The chemo has stopped the tumor from growing, but it is also very hard on MIL's health. She is considering stopping the treatment at this point, though she has faith and hope for what she will enjoy in the next life. In fact, she is currently sharing some powerful stories of faith on a Zoom call with her children. She is a force for good in this life and will be a force for good in the next world.