Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I'm Not Psychic AND I'm Unreliable

Wow. I'm so very reliable. And guess what: I'm not even posting pictures at this time.

My kids accuse me all the time of going back on my promises, but the thing is, I have learned to give disclaimers after everything I say we may possibly do. I'll say something like, "I really need to go to the store and get some more milk," and five kids will chime in wanting to accompany me (argh!), but at the moment I utter the statement about going to the store, I'm in the middle of seven other things and remember that I also have to drive [insert child's name] to [insert destination] and still make dinner and complete my text writing for work and possibly get the laundry folded if I can squeeze it in. So, later, when I announce that it's bedtime, I get a chorus of wails and accusations.

"You promised we were going to the store and I could come and I wanted to go because I wanted to wear my Heelies [shoes with wheels in the heels] and buy something with my money and now you're BREAKING YOUR PROMISE!"

All I said was I needed milk.

So now I have learned to either keep my mouth shut in the first place or, if I have unwisely spoken out loud, to add the disclaimer, "...but I don't know if I can do that anytime in the next few years or so."

Which reminds me: I should get some pictures posted, but I get distracted and so I don't know if I can do that anytime in the next few years or so.

(Not that any of you have accused me of breaking my promise. For that I thank you from the depths of my heart.)

So, want to hear the latest news? If you're still reading this, I'll assume you'll continue, possibly because of the laws of inertia.

Husband has submitted his short story to several publications and it has been rejected every time. While it's discouraging, he is keeping in mind that he may have hours and hours of writing ahead of him before he gets published at all. Personally, (and this is a professional opinion and not merely a doting wife's opinion) I think his story is hilarious and well written. The first time I read it, I laughed so hard I was choking. Just last night I suggested he submit it to some British publications, as his humor is, naturally, British and may appeal or be understood more over there. He is almost finished giving his novel the once-over, but I think he's going to change the plot line a little.

My work as a professional writer and editor is both fun and exhausting. I often get clients who expect me to be psychic and this happens more often then you would think. I will get some information from them and then write up two or three pages of website text, only to find that they are upset because I didn't add information that they were apparently only sending me mind-to-mind. Usually, when I explain that my psychic powers are, as yet, mostly undeveloped, they are very nice about it. A couple clients have been upset enough to get really mad. When that happens, I just pass them up the line to my more psychic supervisor. I also haven't written text for the same type of website twice. I've done plush dolls, a clothing boutique, insurance adjusters, and electrical services, to name a few. I don't know much about most of that stuff. I'm mostly winging it.

The kids are doing well. Sian got a part in the high school play, which surprised her. She only tried out because she has to get 40 hours of backstage work in for this semester of her stage crew class, and the current school play is Man of La Mancha, which requires the actors onstage to move sets and scenery. She figured the only way she'd get enough hours was to actually be in the play, so she tried out for the chorus. She ended up getting an actual part (the horse and a gypsy). I think she may have caught the acting bug now.

Gabrielle managed to break her little toe over the Christmas holidays, so she has been on crutches for a while. She was running down the stairs and slipped at the bottom, ramming her foot into the door jamb of the family room. (Did you know Walmart will lend you crutches for a $25 deposit? You get the money back when you bring the crutches back.) This has put a crimp on her active lifestyle, of course. She's having a hard time accepting that she can't play basketball for a few more weeks.

The rest of the kids are doing well. I could go into individual descriptions, but this post would become more like a tome, although I just checked the length and it's at least a novella.