Update on Husband: We drove into The Big City for Husband's first day of chemo early this morning. Of course we got stuck in traffic, but because we'd given ourselves enough time, we still got to the Huntsman Center on time. After they drew blood, we met with the doctor. Then it was off to the Infusion Room for two hours of a cladribine drip. We grabbed some lunch afterward, ran a couple errands, and then headed home, again getting stuck in stop-and-go traffic (only this time for much longer). Before we went home, we stopped to pick up his prescriptions for Valtrex and Bactium to prevent shingles and pneumonia while his immune system is suppressed.
Meanwhile, at home, my Mom the Superstar (along with my Dad the Magnificent), took care of everything and even had the kids get their chores done before we arrived at the house. Bless her. I don't know how she does it, 'cause I can't even remember to get my kids to get their chores done every day. Since the house was clean in the evening, I was able to sit and help Joseph with his homework, which he loved.
Even if the circumstances are not ideal, it was great to spend the day with Husband. He's exhausted, and we do this all over again for five more days, but hopefully this will work and he can recover quickly. He'll start feeling the effects of the chemotherapy within a day or so. I wonder if his hair will fall out? and if it does, what will it look like when it grows back?
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Here's a talent I didn't realize I had: I am very good at self-hypnosis. I can put myself into a trance very easily, and now that I better understand what that means (I've been reading, see), I understand that I've been doing it all my life. I wish I could claim that's unusual or something, but the truth is that most kids are very good at self-hypnosis. When you are transported into a world of your own creation, where everything external drops away and you are completely absorbed in your thoughts, that's self-hypnosis. Maybe I never grew up or something. When I was a teenager, I used to turn out all the lights in my room on a Sunday night and tune my radio to "Music From the Hearts of Space," followed by "Pipe Dreams." For the first hour, I was surrounded by ethereal, new age sounds. For the second hour, it was the organ (my dad has been the organ player in church for as long as I can remember, so it's an instrument with which I am very familiar and love).
During both those hours, with no other stimulus except for sound, I slipped away into a little fantasy world. Thoughts would come and go as they pleased. I just breathed and let my mind wander where it would. All my muscles were relaxed. Eventually, I would lose the music as well, going so deep that there was nothing outside of me. It wasn't sleep, exactly, and a lot of times I came out of it with interesting insights about myself and about life in general. Call it meditation. Call it self-hypnosis. Same thing. It was very refreshing.
I had forgotten to deliberately do this after I had kids. My trance sessions were more accidental than planned, as I grabbed a moment here or there to just space out in thought. Now I'm making time for it again, and when I put in my headphones and turn on my iPod to play the self-hypnosis tracks, I find I sleep really, really well. Whether it's relaxing music or the guy talking me into a trance, it doesn't matter. I am sorting things out in my head. I have a lot of things to sort out.
This is the most sloppy post ever. No matter. I must go to bed, so I'm not taking time to edit tonight. Tomorrow is another busy day. I did manage to get my exercise in today, although I had to wait until it was dark outside before I could take my 30 minute brisk walk. It feels good.
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