Love Ya! And That's No Mistake!

I was dropping off my friend, M, at her house today. She got out of the car, leaned in to tell me something through the open window, and then started to go into her house. "Love ya!" she called as she waved. And then we both burst out laughing. What was so funny was that we had recently been discussing how easy it is to unconsciously allow those habitual "I love you's" and "love ya's" that end our conversations with husbands, children, and other close friends and family members to creep into other conversations by accident. M's co-worker had recently made that slip on the phone, and here was M making that slip with me. I know she's fond of me and all, and it's not that unusual for friends to say things like that, but the "love ya" today, which was completely by accident, and especially after our conversation about that very subject, was hilarious.

These days, now that I've become more used to telling my parents and siblings I love them (we just weren't very mushy that way when I was growing up), along with the habit of telling Husband and the kids that I love them --the standard good-bye when speaking to them over the phone--I worry that I'm going to start telling the barest of acquaintances and even strange telemarketers that I love them.

"No, thanks. I'm not interested in purchasing comprehensive full-service magazine subscription insurance that will deter insects, alert me to intruders, and clean my carpets. Love ya!"

Or, even worse, slipping up when you are speaking to someone you know pretty well but who would be shocked if you suddenly and casually affirmed your love.

"Sure, Bishop! I'd be happy to prepare a 45 minute talk for church tomorrow because both the other speakers canceled. Love ya!"

On the other hand, maybe we should be a little more liberal with telling people we care. It isn't like feeling loved is a bad thing for most people. Maybe a sincere "love ya" to the postal delivery person or grocery store clerk would make the world spin just a little more easily. Either that or you'll get some sort of reputation.

In English, we only have the phrase "I love you." Other languages often have several different ways to verbally express love, and each phrase will have a different meaning for a different type of relationship, whether it's parent to child (or other familial relationships), friend to friend (non-romantic), and in the romantic sense. In English, we're reduced to using slang terms as the only way to lessen the degree of love we wish to convey when faced with the situation of wanting to declare affection but not wanting to propose. We have to rely on shortened terms such as "love ya," as well as context, tone of voice, and body language (although body language is not very reliable in phone conversations--unless you slam the phone down--"Love ya!" SLAM!).

(I don't have a solution for any of that. My job is merely to point out the problem.)


I did know a girl in college who indiscriminately flashed everyone she greeted with the sign language "I love you." I didn't even know her beyond her name. I found that a little weird. Maybe, in retrospect, she was only doing "hang ten." They're pretty close. Still...

In conclusion, I'm sure my tight and coherent treatise on whatever it is I was trying to say about love will cause you to think deeply and meditatively about to whom and how you want to verbally affirm love and affection. Telemarketers need love too, after all.