My Brain Tries to Kill Me

I've been checking out more of my friends' blogs and I feel both deficient and technologically challenged to a great degree. They have these great pictures, YouTube videos, all kinds of stuff. Mine is just some writing. Well, I could change all that, I suppose. It's not like it's too hard to learn. Expect to see more updated and interesting posts from now on. Maybe.

Child Four sighed with pleasure and said, "I feel so free!" when her leg brace came off for the last time. She is still in the habit of walking with her right leg stiff, but she's been experimenting with bending her leg a little more each time and is happy with the result. The stitches came out with no problem. The wounds are healing nicely. She's going to have a great scar to show off when she's older. The nurse put some SteriStrips on her scar more for my sake than anything, because I keep imagining the gash popping open if Four bends her knee too far. The cut doesn't quite extend up and over her knee cap -- it runs right up to the outside of the knee cap -- so I should just be a little less worried.

I was remembering today how I nearly went crazy when I was pregnant with Child Five. I became obsessed with dirt. All the time, waking and sleeping, I had this nearly irresistible urge to get a spoon, go out back and eat dirt, lots of it. When I successfully resisted that, the urge changed to eating a rib of celery stuffed with dirt instead of peanut butter. It wasn't even what you would think of as good-looking dirt, either. Celery with dried, mud brown dirt inside, and oh, it looked delicious. It's the strangest mental feeling I've ever had, like my brain was trying to kill me and I had to fight it. I didn't hear any voices or anything, just saw this image and felt the desire.
I realized, of course, that I had Pica, which is the urge to eat non-edible food such as dirt and chalk or chew ice incessantly. It's caused by a deficiency of either folate or iron, and I had iron deficiency anemia. Health food stores actually cater to this and sell "clean" dirt. I know because Husband checked it out for me as I was struggling with it. Still, I didn't give in; I can't imagine what eating dirt would actually do to your intestines. Once I started taking an iron supplement (Floradix), the urge went away. What a relief. I thought I was seriously losing my mind.

There's actually no point to my telling you that. Just mental diarrhea.

Here's some more random thoughts for you:
I heard a talk fairly recently in which the speaker challenged us to write down 100 things we want to do or accomplish in our lifetimes. The first 25 are pretty easy to figure out, but getting the whole one-hundred is quite a challenge. When you have the 100 things you are supposed to cross them off as you complete them and replace them with something new, so that you always have 100 things on your list. I can't even remember the point of all of that, but it kind of seems like fun because it would stretch your mind quite a bit and make you think of what your deepest desires are. I'm having a hard time getting through just my first 25 ideas.

1. Get an education -- probably in construction and/or architecture so I can become proficient in alternative forms of construction like dome houses, rammed earth and straw bale. Why? because I think there's going to be a big market for it in the near future, what with the rising cost of heating and cooling traditional timber frame houses. Also, I want to know how to use the earth to heat and cool houses. All of this fascinates me.
2. Get a big plot of land (at least 20 acres) and build different types of homes, including an underground home. I know that would cost $$$$$, but I'm dreaming here.
3. Write a book.
4. Decorate my home. My other passion is interior decoration, not that I have any real experience.
5. Be healthy: the right weight, eat the right foods, feel good and energetic.
6. Learn to garden and grow my own food.
7. Organize my house. Get rid of junk, pare down our possessions, and find a place for everything so everything can be in it's place once in a while.
8. Be at peace with myself and my shortcomings.
9. Archive all the family photos -- not just Husband and me and kids, but my parents'. I've already completed a great deal of that but I have quite a ways to go.
10. Help with family history. My parents have always been good about that, but I want to get more involved.
11. Complete more temple ordinances for family members.
12. Attend the temple at least twice a month, if not more.
13. Take cello lessons again.
14. Take piano lessons.
15. Serve a mission with Husband at some point.
16. Travel across the U.S.
17. Go to Corfu with Husband. Gerry Durrell's books paint such a lovely picture of it, although I'm sure it's changed a great deal since his writings.
18. Live in another country for a while.
19. Become fluent in another language.
20. Learn how to do more things with my blog, like putting in pictures and whatnot.
21. Keep in touch with old friends.
22. Keep making new ones.
23. Do what it takes to become a good photographer.
24. Become an expert at food storage and emergency planning.
25. Take singing lessons.

The first 25. More to come.

Six Word Memoir for the day:
Overcoming guilt and fear; accepting myself.