Thursday, August 31, 2023

Goodbye For Now, Sweet MIL

My sweet mother-in-law passed away in the early morning of last Friday. 

I was at work when I got the text from Husband. I am amazed that he managed to get himself to work, but he did it and kept himself busy for the whole day before we both got home and had a chance to talk about it.

The funeral is Saturday, and Husband and I are flying out to Indiana to be with the family. Husband was asked to prepare the obituary and give the life sketch at the funeral, and I was asked to offer the invocation. 

I had a beautiful experience on Thursday evening, the night before MIL died. I got home from work and flipped on a Korean drama I have been slowly watching whenever I have a moment. After a few minutes, however, I felt like I should turn it off, so I did. I pulled out my book, instead, and started reading. Suddenly, a peaceful, calm feeling overcame me, and I knew my MIL was in the room with me. I couldn't see her or anything, but I felt her spirit. We had a conversation during which she told me how much love she has for me and then expressed her love for her son, my husband. I could also feel her love for our children and my grandchildren as well as for all of her other children and grandchildren. It wasn't a conversation in the sense that we shared words in an audible way, but there were telepathic words that were loaded with thoughts and feelings. Lastly, she let me feel her shining love for her husband, my FIL, and her gratitude to him for the life they have had together and for his loving care as she was ill. Finally, I knew that she had delivered the message she wanted me to have and to share, and the feeling of her presence faded. Her last words were, "We will all be together again soon enough," accompanied by a sense of eternity and joy.

At the time of her visit to me, MIL had been sleeping one hundred percent of the time for about a week. She had stopped eating and drinking, and we knew the end was near. She was still alive, but I have long held the theory that people with lingering illnesses don't necessarily have to stay in their bodies all the time as the body shuts down and/or the pain becomes unbearable. I feel like they are allowed to visit loved ones or places they have a special connection to before the final separation of spirit from body. There seems to be a space of time where spirits can connect to earthly things before they pass through the veil--with my friend Mark, it was as his funeral ended that I felt a door close behind him; with Chad, my former brother-in-law, it was before the funeral but right after I heard the news of his death, as if he was waiting for me to think about him so he could make me hear him and deliver a message to my sister from him. Once he had delivered his message, I felt like he went to be with his daughters, but he never visited me again.

After that door has closed, I sense that there must be a special reason (and heavenly permission) for them to visit again. Again, this is my own theory, not gospel truth. I don't believe all spirits have a peaceful or happy passing, but I know my MIL is a being of light and love and would want to be nowhere else but as near to her Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and her parents as possible. I believe that God, in His infinite mercy and love for us, lets our spirits go where we are most comfortable as we await the final judgement, and some are not comfortable in His presence. MIL, on the other hand, would want nothing less than that glorious presence.

I kind of debated sharing that experience with Husband, wondering if he would question it or feel hurt that his mother visited me instead of him. I honestly think that it was the timing, for the most part. I was in a quiet and contemplative frame of mind, which is usually necessary in order to receive these types of spiritual messages (though I have received strong and insistent spiritual guidance in the heat of the moment when I have needed it). Husband, on the other hand, was in the whirlwind of getting students out the door and preparing his things to come home. Had I kept the TV show on, I doubt I would have noticed her presence because my mind would have been dulled and distracted. In my prior experiences of other loved ones visiting me, it has always been when I was quiet and meditative and spiritually open. 

I did end up sharing my experience with Husband, and he was grateful rather than envious. He knows I have had this happen before. The next morning, after he received news that his mother had passed away, he was able to share with his siblings and father some of the things I had told him. I know MIL wanted them to know with a surety that she is still herself, that she is happy beyond measure, and is in a beautiful, wonderful place with no pain. She is bathing in the love of God and our Savior.

We will be together again soon enough.

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