A Wedding and a Funeral

 It's been a wild and crazy ride.

The happy news is that Elannah's and Dalton's wedding went perfectly. The sealing (marriage for time and all eternity) at the temple was in the late morning, and that ordinance was absolutely lovely. I really enjoyed that part. It was everything else that was stressful: decorating the reception venue, worrying that I was going to run out of food before the reception even officially started, and then cleaning up at the end of the night when all I wanted to do was soak my aching feet before crawling into bed. In the end, however, we all survived and the happy new couple were able to embark on a honeymoon cruise. I have now married off all four of my daughters and will happily allow my sons' future brides to take the reins on their own wedding plans.

Elannah and Dalton at the Capitol building for pre-wedding bridal photos. 

They are a very compatible couple. Elannah picked a great guy. Dalton chose the perfect girl for him.

 Sophia, another of my very talented daughters, made the bouquet.

Isn't my girl so pretty? The sleeves that Sophia made turned out so well, and Elannah felt beautiful in her beautiful dress. Her photo session also entertained some groups of tourists from various countries who were visiting the Utah State Capitol that day.

Elannah wore my MIL's blue earrings that she was gifted during our visit to MIL and FIL in May. Because these photos were taken before the wedding, Elannah was able to send them to MIL and FIL while MIL was still in good enough health to appreciate them.

Fortunately, a woman in our ward who used to be a large events planner graciously offered the free use of any of her large collection of venue decor. She also brought our selections to the venue and instructed the groomsmen we offered up as minions in how to set it all up. That evening, after the reception was over, she came back and helped us pack everything back into the correct tote boxes. She saved us probably hundreds of dollars, and the decor was beautiful. I don't have the wedding photos back yet, but I will share some of them when I get them.

In less joyous news, my brother-in-law's wife tragically passed away after a brief illness. 

I've written about Husband's oldest brother, Warren, before. He's a character, to say the least. He and his wife, while legally married, had not been living as man and wife for years, though they shared a house because neither of them could afford to live alone. They have two sons, both of whom are now adults. The younger of the two boys lived with Warren and Julie.

I only met Julie, Warren's wife, two times. The first time was back in 1995 when Husband and I were living in Wales with my MIL and FIL for the summer. Julie, Warren's then-fianceé, who had attended one of the few Welsh language-only schools in western Wales, had such a strong Welsh accent that it took me about an hour after meeting her before I could finally understand her, though she was speaking English. When my brain finally caught up to how she was pronouncing her vowels, I was able to have a much better conversation with her. She was quiet and unassuming but had a good sense of humor and seemed very kind. 

The last time I saw Julie was this past January when Husband's family met up in England. 

Julie is the short blond in the front row. Warren is behind his mother (MIL wearing a blue coat and cap), and Warren's and Julie's two boys are behind Julie to her right. From left to right: Husband, Toby (Matt's son), Brad, Matt, Daniel, Ronan, Corrie, Julie, MIL, Warren, and FIL. Marlborough High Street, England, 2023. 

 

Julie was again very quiet and unassuming, and we didn't get much of a chance to chat that day as we all ended up splitting into smaller groups to visit the various shops on the high street in Marlborough. I was impressed with Ronan, however, who, seeing that his mother had worn too thin of a coat to block the cold and blustery wind, immediately removed his own coat and insisted his mother put it on. 

Around the beginning of June, Julie ended up with a very serious and exceedingly painful blood clot in her thigh. She had also recently been to the doctor for a foot injury (dry gangrene), which was exacerbated by her mostly untreated diabetes. Over the course of the next few weeks, Julie's health deteriorated rapidly.  The medical system completely failed her, though Warren tried very hard to get her into a doctor, to be admitted to a hospital, and to get necessary tests done. For weeks, hospitals kept sending her home, telling her to get scans and take pain medications, and clinics kept canceling appointments for scans and tests due to lack of staffing. She got more and more ill, to the point that she could not walk, could not eat, and could not move. She was finally admitted to a hospital only after Warren's repeated and more adamant demands for a nursing visit revealed that her foot wound had progressed to possible sepsis and she was nearly at death's door because of the blood clot.

After Julie was finally given a bed at the hospital, Warren talked to her on the phone once before he had to go to his twelve-hour night shift. Julie told him she was being given IV antibiotics for the infection and fluids for the malnutrition and dehydration. When he called again the next day, after his shift, she didn't answer. He called a couple more times with no response before calling the hospital. After being shunted to three different departments as the medical staff tried to find where Julie was, a nurse finally spoke to him.

"Julie is in the ICU and has not yet regained consciousness after the surgery," she told Warren.

"What surgery?" asked Warren, surprised and alarmed.

"...Who are you?" responded the nurse.

After Warren had proven he was Julie's husband, the nurse apologized that he had not been informed that Julie had been taken in for emergency surgery to have her leg amputated. They had it on record that someone had called him, though no one had. The nurse also informed Warren that Julie's heart, greatly weakened from the illness and weight loss, had stopped during the surgery, though the doctor had managed to get it started again.

Julie remained unconscious, and Warren, even more alarmed, asked the stake president to come and give her a blessing because Warren's faith has taken a major hit due to MIL's illness with cancer. During the blessing, the stake president said that Julie was between worlds and had been given the choice to either come back to mortality, where she would not only endure having to navigate with one leg but would have vascular disease for the rest of her life, or to stay in heaven, where her faith had saved her and her mansion had been prepared. Either way, she had been assured that her family would be loved and supported. She obviously chose to remain in the beautiful world of spirits because another heart attack a day or two later ended her life on this earth for good. She never regained consciousness.

I can't guarantee that Julie would have survived if she had access to the American medical system, flawed as our system is, but I'm pretty sure she would have. She might even have kept her leg. For all its faults, a private medical system has distinct advantages over socialized healthcare. I won't politicize this tragedy any more than to say that knowing what I know about this situation (and I have spared you all the minute details), it is my strong opinion that socialized healthcare killed Julie. It was a series of mistakes and bunglings inherent to that system that added up to an unnecessary death.

Equally sad is that my MIL does not have long with us, either. She is sleeping most of the time, and the amount of pain medications she has to take does not allow her to be fully lucid for much of the time that she is awake. A day or two ago, she had to go to the ER because her catheter had an issue. They solved the catheter issue and then put her in a rehabilitation center for a few days mainly to give FIL some time to rest. I don't know if MIL has stopped eating or drinking, but I think that is probably the next and final stage. 

It is a blessing to know that Julie is happy in the Spirit World even if her sons are grieving the loss of their mother. They will be with her again. It is a blessing to know that MIL will also be welcomed home with joy and love. As I watch Elannah and Dalton begin their new lives as a new family, I am so grateful that they they are sealed together forever. Death is part of life, but life can be joyful, too.