New Paint and Funny Skit Ideas

I have pictures of progress!

I thought the wall behind the old cupboard would be horrid, but it wasn't too bad. Husband spackled in the dent, where it looked like someone had ferreted out the stud with a hammer, et voila! nice, smooth wall. We had shorter shelves to put on the shorter wall, but I liked the long shelves on their own. We'll install the shorter shelves in another place. Once the backsplash is put on, I'll start adding decorations and lighting. I'll also add a magnetic knife strip and a paper towel holder under the shelves and a bread box on the counter.

The living area suffers greatly from lack of sufficient lighting. Not only will we eventually install a mantel over the gas fireplace, we'll also have pictures on that wall. I want to put a couple of tall green palms on either side of the fireplace with uplights behind them to cast shadows on the ceiling. We also need a nice area rug. I have relegated the old red and white rag rug to the donation box. I never did like it. I'm not country enough.

Here is the front door area. We left the wall over the stairs to the basement white because I want to paint it in such a way that it becomes a focal wall. I'm playing with ideas. One idea was to paint that wall a deep orange with a bronze glaze over it. Another is to leave it white and put colorful artwork on it, lit by picture lights or track spots. Right now, I have a nice selection of thrift store picture frames I am going to spray paint orange and arrange on the wall in a pleasing way -- just the frames.

Change of subject:

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need a funny, easy skit, "Janie Gets Hit by the Bus" is perfect. Unfortunately, I don't have video to embed here, as I'm not sure who recorded us performing this in a highly skilled manner (ha ha ha) a couple weeks ago.

The story is this: "Janie Gets Hit by the Bus" is a movie being filmed. The parts for the movie include Janie, Janie's friend, the Bus Driver, several Rowdy Kids on the bus, Janie's Mother, and the Doctor. All parts are onstage during the entire performance. The movie director is in charge. Here's a very rough script idea, but you can ad lib or write your own more structured script.

Director: Okay, people! You all have your parts. Please find your places and we'll start filming.

(All players go to their places without much enthusiasm or emotion)

Director: "Janie Gets Hit by the Bus," take one. And...action! (exits stage)

(During this run through, none of the players exhibits emotion. It is very flat and undramatic)

Janie: Catch the frisbee. (mimes throwing a frisbee to her friend)

Janie's Friend: I caught the frisbee! I'm throwing the frisbee.

(Janie and her friend continue miming playing frisbee while the Bus Driver and Rowdy Kids come from an upstage corner toward Janie. The Rowdy Kids are silently fighting in the "back" of the bus.)

Bus Driver: (turning to face Rowdy Kids) Shut up, you kids. (Bus Driver runs into Janie)

(Janie falls down. Janie's Friend, the Bus Driver, and the Rowdy Kids crowd around to look)

Bus Driver: Oh, no. I hit Janie with the bus. I better call her mother. (holds hand up to ear like a phone.) Ring, ring.

Mother (center back): (picks up "phone") Hello?

Bus Driver: Janie's been hit by the bus.

Mother: Oh, no. I'll call the doctor. (hangs up. Picks up "phone" again) Ring, ring.

Doctor (backstage corner): (picks of "phone") Hello?

Mother: Doctor, Janie's been hit by a bus.

Doctor: I'll be right over. (whirls hand above head like an ambulance light and makes a siren noise while walking to Janie)

Director: (rushing onstage) Cut! Cut! No, no, no! That was a good run-through, but there was no emotion. I want emotion! I want drama! I want people crying in their seats because Janie's been hit by the bus! Back to beginning places, everyone, and this time, give me some emotion! "Janie Gets Hit by the Bus" take two! And...action! (exits stage)

(This time, the players follow the same basic script, but they overdramatize everything. I mean, in this take, it goes beyond emotional to Shakespearean tragedy in the umpteenth degree. This take is absolutely hilarious if done well. Playing frisbee has never been so fraught with emotion. The Bus Driver is in a rage. The rowdy kids are beating each other SILENTLY! to a pulp. You get the idea. Ham it up!)

Director: (rushing onstage) Cut! Cut! Wow! Very emotional. Thank you. But that was a touch too slow. I want people to be bowled over with the strength of it. Speed it up just a bit, please. Places, everyone. "Janie Gets Hit by the Bus" take three! And...action! (exits stage)

(This time, of course, the actors go incredibly quickly, racing through the entire script in less than 20 seconds. What's really funny is when Janie falls down in fast motion. The fourth time, the director tells them to slow down, so they go in ultra-slow motion. I usually yell "cut!" about halfway through to spare the audience sitting through the entire thing. The fifth take we chose to do opera, which resulted in a hilarious impromptu duet between Mother and Doctor. The more the actors ham it up, the funnier the skit is, of course. No one can be afraid to be foolish.)