Thursday, April 16, 2020

Non-Americans: All Your Most Pressing Questions Answered

Elannah and I were laughing about these questions, so I thought I'd answer them. Answering the questions kept me busy for a while and made me think about things other than continual earth tremors and house arrest quarantine aggravations.

These are from a Buzzfeed article where non-Americans are wondering if we really do these things or if it's only something done in movies or on TV.

1. Why do Americans on TV always swallow pills without a drink?

TV characters are usually insane to some degree and enjoy gagging on dry pills. That is the only explanation I have.

2. Do Americans really decorate their lockers w/ posters and mirrors and pictures of their crush (bit noncy) or is that just in the movies?

No, we really do liven up our lockers with paraphernalia. Well, if you go to a small enough school where you get an entire locker to yourself, or if you actually have time to get to your locker between classes when you go to a huge school, or if your locker is actually big enough to provide enough real estate to decorate. I went to a small school, so I had an entire full-sized locker to myself, and I did tape up a picture of me and my friends and a few other things. In my school, we even left them open all day, and it was incredibly rare if anyone stole anything.

Btw, I would never have taped up pictures of my crushes.

3. Do Americans really eat chips on sandwiches like on tv?

Yes, and it's delicious. Salt-and-vinegar chips on a tuna sandwich, yum. Some people like regular potato chips on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or on a savory meat sandwich, like, say, a roast beef and cheese. Chips give the sandwich a pleasing crunch.

A variation of putting chips on your sandwich is to have your hamburger loaded with onion rings.

4. Americans in movies always have a big bowl of mixed lettuce in the middle of the table with their dinner

This is a throwback to the 50s, and it does still happen today. Traditionally, the salad greens are put into a wooden bowl, and if you're really classy, you'll rub the cut edge of a fresh garlic bulb around the insides of the bowl so the greens get just a touch of garlic flavor.

I, myself, frequently set out a big bowl of salad greens for family dinners (though I don't own a wooden bowl), with extra salad ingredients in separate bowls so people can build the salad they like.

5. do americans really have red cups all the time at parties or is that just in movies? someone let me know thanks

Red Solo cups are nearly mandatory for all parties. They're inexpensive, sturdy, and large enough to hold plenty of liquid. We use them all the time, even if we don't drink alcohol.

Fun fact: the Solo brand now offers a wide array of cup colors other than red.

6. Do Americans really carry groceries in paper bags or is that just in movies only?

Yes, we do carry groceries in paper bags, but not all the time, and not in every part of the country. Most grocery stores have baggers who do the bagging for you (at no extra cost), and they'll ask if you want paper or plastic bags. Most people choose plastic because they're a little sturdier; but some parts of the country have banned plastic bags altogether, so they either use paper bags or reusable bags. When I was a kid, all groceries were bagged in paper bags--ironically, back then, people clamored for plastic because it would save the trees. Now they're clamoring to ban plastic bags to save the environment. Whatever you use, you'll be wrong.

7. According to the movies, all Americans have a bag of frozen peas in their fridge, but they never use it while cooking.

I don't know about all Americans, but I certainly have frozen peas in my fridge, and I do use them for cooking. They're also handy when you need a flexible ice pack. Using a bag of frozen peas for dinner is definitely not a sexy movie look, though, so I'm not surprised no one in TV land grabs their frozen peas, rips it open, and dumps the contents into a pot of boiling water unless the director wants to portray the character as a delightfully inept cook in a rom-com.

8. Why do Americans on tv shows / films rarely say goodbye when they hang up the phone? They just hang up. It's just...rude.

We agree. We also comment on that. It is rude! Almost 100% of Americans will say goodbye when hanging up the phone.

9. Why do Americans on tv hand someone a gift and tell them what it is before they open it. Surprise ruined.

No arguments here. Most Americans love watching the look on the person's face when they open the gift. The only time I can think of that you would ruin the surprise is if you're not entirely comfortable with the person you're giving a gift to and are giving them a sort of warning so they can control their reactions or you aren't sure of the person's reaction to that specific gift and feel the need to explain before they see it.

10. Why do Americans name their dog Buster?? Like...what's he busting?

He's busting your heart in two with your love of him, that's what he's busting. But seriously, the names "Buster" and "Buddy" are common generic names Americans call each other in certain social contexts, but they wouldn't be capitalized unless they're the actual proper name (not likely except for pets).

Buster and Buddy can be used for affectionate correction (i.e. a mother to her son: "Where do you think you're going, buster (or buddy)? You haven't finished your vegetables!") or non-affectionate correction (i.e. "Hey, buster! You just hit my car!") or just as a general term of endearment. They're generally used for males. It's unlikely that someone would name a female dog "Buster."

"Buddy" is also another word to denote friendship status, so it wouldn't be uncommon to say, "What's up, buddy?" to a friend, but you would not use "buster" in the same way unless you were angry.

Naming a pet Buster or Buddy is just elevating this general term to name status.

11. do americans actually have an obscene amount of throw pillows on their beds or is that just another lie told to us by movies/tv shows

Only those who have tried to make their bedroom look like a glossy magazine photo.

12. Do Americans really hang out in parking lots or is that a TV trope?

I'm trying to think of any reason why I or anyone I know would ever hang out in a parking lot, and the only things I can come up with are a) when you're having a tailgate party before a big sporting event, or b) when teenagers have nowhere else to go on a Friday night, as is the case in my burg (that's when you see the teens hanging out at Walmart or in the Walmart parking lot).

13. Do Americans actually have a school assignment where they have to take care of a bag of flour like it's a kid with another student or is that just something in movies and tv shows?

Yes, that's an actual school assignment; and yes, students are usually paired off to share in the care of the bag of flour. Actually, these days, the bag of flour has been replaced with a fake baby that cries and demands food and needs diaper changes. The assignment is to help students understand what actual babies require. It can be an assignment for a child development class or in classes where kids are learning life skills as a way to help them understand the responsibility of being a parent and encourage them to keep from getting pregnant out of wedlock or before they're ready.

Not all students have to do this--just the students who take that particular class.

14. Do Americans eat as many of those bear claws at work as TV and movies would have us believe?

Yes.

15. Do Americans actually have their funerals in graveyards with wooden chairs set up beside the grave? Or is that just a movie thing? Genuine question.

I have never been to a funeral that is conducted graveside, but maybe there are some who do that. It's certainly more dramatic to have a movie funeral at a cemetery.

My experience is that the funeral is held in a church or funeral home, after which the casket and invited family members leave and have a short graveside service at the cemetery.

16. In the movies: why do Americans always crumple their money...is this actually a thing in real life because I don't get it...

This is not actually a thing unless you're a kid who doesn't have a wallet, or a slob. Crumpled money in movies is often used to denote an emotion such as desperation or confusion, to denote a lack of care, or to highlight the youth of the character.

17. Do Americans actually eat pb and j or is that like a fake movie thing? 

My friend, there is little else in the world as satisfying as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread when you really, really need one. It reminds you of your childhood; but even more than that, it's the delicious combination of salty peanut butter with sweet jelly that makes this an iconic American food. We love the combination of salty and sweet.

You have to remember that jelly in America is like jam, not like gelatin desserts. More specifically, jelly is gelled fruit juice, so it has no chunks of fruit. We also eat jam, which has the chunks of fruit. It is perfectly acceptable to use either jelly or jam in your pb&j, and you can also use white or wheat bread, but it would be unusual to use a strongly flavored bread like sourdough or rye (though I love the combination of flavors in a sourdough pb&j). Grape jelly and strawberry jam are the two most commonly used counterparts to the peanut butter.

18. Do Americans sleep in shoes like in movies ?!

What? Who would sleep in their shoes? Maybe drunk people.

19. Do Americans always leave their keys in the car or is just only in the movies?

Maybe in decades past, when people honestly expected the people around them to act with decency, did they leave their keys in the car or their front doors unlocked. My family, for instance, never locked the front door when I was growing up--even at night. You just didn't expect anyone to break in. But even then, we never left the keys in the car.

These days, who leaves their door unlocked at night or their keys in the car? No one! In the movies, the desperate protagonist jumps into a random car and scrambles madly around for the key and finds it tucked up in the sun visor just in the nick of time. THAT IS A LOAD OF CROCK! No one leaves their keys in the car, even in fleet vehicles. I don't leave my keys on my school bus, either. When I see that in a movie, I start yelling at the screen (but only if I'm at home). It's a cheap plot trick and is not true to life.

20. do americans really wake up and drink milk from the carton like that or is it just a movie aesthetic thing

If anyone does that, it better be their own personal carton of milk they're drinking from!

If you're buying milk in a cardboard carton, you probably live alone or with only one other person, or you're sharing a fridge with roommates. I'm sure some Americans do that, but it's pretty much a movie aesthetic thing for the most part.

21. wait do americans actually call older people ma'am and sir? or is that just a movie thing

Yes, we do that.

22. Do Americans go to batting cages as much as movies think they do?

No. But I bet we would if there were more of them. Unless you are part of a baseball or softball team, you probably aren't visiting the batting cages very often.

23. Do Americans actually like purchase fake IDs or is that just a movie thing???? Confused

Yes, it's a real thing. With the American drinking age set so high at 21, a lot of kids under 21 will purchase a fake ID to get into bars and clubs that serve alcohol. You can drink at 16 in Europe, so I can see why people from Europe would be surprised by the need for a fake ID. There's quite an industry for quality fake IDs for kids under 21 in this country.

Did I have one when I was young? No.

24. do americans ACTUALLY have photo shoots for homecoming, birthdays etc??? or is that made up for movies?

Yes, this is real.

25. Do Americans really eat potato chips on a plate with their lunches like they do in the movies? It's just weird.

Yes, we do that. Usually it's because you're taking chips from a large bag, so you're taking just some and leaving the bag for others to take from. The easiest place to put those chips is on your plate.

26. Do Americans actually take high school football games really seriously or is that just something in the movies?

Oh, we take high school football games very seriously, indeed! I know it's hard for Europeans to grasp just how seriously both the students and the parents take these games because there isn't that same sense of loyalty to school drummed into European students as it is in American students. Sports teams play a huge part in that "school spirit," as that loyalty to your school is called. My British husband was very surprised by this and thought it was all very stupid until we had kids in high school. That pride in your school lasts into adulthood, as even alumni of a high school will come and attend the games and cheer for their team just as heartily as the current students.

American high school students can be involved in many extracurricular activities that are sponsored by the school--sports teams, clubs of all types, theater, music, etc.--and when your team or group performs well, you boost the reputation of your group and your school, and you're proud of that. There is a lot of rivalry (mostly friendly, though it can get tense) between high schools, and the sense of competition is fierce.

There's more to it than just competition, as well. Top high school performers get to compete in larger regional, statewide, and even national competitions, and that equals recognition, and recognition can equal more funding to the school or to the particular sports or academic program. The best students can be offered scholarships to universities, as well. That's a huge deal because a university education can be very expensive. The best university athletes might be offered professional contracts, which is also lucrative.

But more simple than the all the money and recognition is the ingrained American cultural emphasis on excellence, on striving to be the best at what you do. That can be both a blessing and a curse, of course, but it explains our obsession with competition and our fierce loyalty to our schools, because we want to believe that our school is the best one (speaking in general, of course. Not every American teenager cares about their school that much or feels school spirit).

27. Do Americans really have 5 minutes conversations at the door or is it just in the movies?

Yes, we do. I didn't know that was weird.

28. wait so do americans actually call hot chocolate hot cocoa or is that just a cheesy christmas movie type thing?

"Hot chocolate" and "hot cocoa" are interchangeable terms, and yes, both are used. Which one you use most might be determined by personal preference and/or the region in which you live (different regions of the country tend to use different terms for things), but I've used both terms on a regular basis.

 29. wait do. americans have a whole class dedicated to trig? or like? why in movies do people be saying they are going to trig class?

Yes, we do. Oh, I could tell you harrowing stories about my trigonometry class in high school or my calculus class in college, but that's mostly because I am so terrible at math. In high school and university, higher math classes are generally separated into specific areas like algebra, geometry, statistics, trigonometry, calculus, etc. In my last year of high school, I had signed up for physics, but I only got through two classes before dropping it and taking finite math instead.

30. so do americans actually leave a spare key under their doormat or is that a movie/book/au type of thing bc if they do that's rlly mf dumb tbh. 

It's very dumb, but some people do that. Others are much more creative about how they hide a spare key. My family, for instance, hide our spare key at my in-laws' house just down the street--and not under their doormat, either.

31. do Americans actually care as much about homecoming as the movies make out?

Absolutely. For most schools (and this is true for both high schools and universities), Homecoming lasts an entire week and culminates in a big football game with a rival school followed by a formal dance. A Homecoming Queen is crowned (sometimes a whole court is crowned, including a queen, a king, and courtiers), and some cities have floats and parades. It's a big deal.

32. do Americans actually have lab partners or is it something from movies?

Yes, some teachers assign lab partners. How else would Bella have gotten to know Edward? My own lab partner experience was significantly less romantic, however.

33. do americans actually have yellow school busses or is that a movie thing?

As the driver of a yellow school bus, I can tell you they are very, very real. And not that you asked, but I'll tell you why we have school buses and why they're yellow.

I'm not being condescending at all, but when I went to England and Europe, a lot of people couldn't grasp the sheer geographic scale of where I live here in the States. Places are a lot closer to each other in European towns and cities. Plus, European public transport is excellent, so even if you were too far away to walk to your school, you could easily catch a bus or train.

Here, students can live miles and miles from school, and in most cases, there is simply no option for public transportation. There are students in my school district who live more than 50 miles (80 km) from their school, so buses that are dedicated to transporting students are essential. Granted, my school district includes a lot of very rural areas, but even districts located in large cities cover dozens of square miles.

American school buses are yellow because it is a highly visible color and the yellow makes it easy to read the black lettering on the sides denoting which district the bus drives for. In 1939, a national standard was agreed upon to paint all school buses a specific yellow: National School Bus Glossy Yellow. Before that, they were painted all kinds of colors by different cities or schools. I'm willing to bet even most Americans don't know that little fact.

34. americans i have a question: is it common for parents to put away money specifically for their child's future wedding that may or may not even happen like they seem to do in the movies bc im confused 

Yes and no. If parents are smart and have the financial means, they might consider saving up money for a future wedding.

There are a couple things to consider here: unlike the trend in most European and Scandinavian countries, in America, marriage is still preferred in most cases. There are plenty of couples who live together and plan their lives together without being legally married, but a legal marriage is still preferred by a majority of American couples. Therefore, it is highly likely that, as an American parent, at least one of your children (and probably more) will choose to get married, and if you've saved money, the expense of a wedding will take less of a toll on your bank account.

Second, the bride's family traditionally pays for the wedding. This tradition has weakened over the decades, and in an increasing number of cases, the couple will finance their own wedding, or the happy couples' parents family will pitch in equally; but, for the most part, the bride's family is on the hook for the majority of the wedding expenses. Depending on how much of a diva your daughter is, that could get expensive, so saving for a future wedding--especially for a daughter--is something some American couples definitely take upon themselves.

35. quarantine got me having after midnight thoughts at 11pm but do americans actually have white eggs like they do on tv?

Yes. The color of the egg shell depends on the breed of the chicken. Where I live, white eggs are the norm.

36. Why do americans in films always sit on their counters to read newspapers or drink coffee its so ??

I'm going to assume the question is about sitting at counters and not on counters, because I have not seen a lot of movie characters sitting on their counters to drink coffee or read a paper.

Many American kitchens include an island that has seating. The kitchen island takes the place of a breakfast table in these cases. I have a dining table, but I also have an island in the kitchen. If my dining table was in another room, I would probably just sit on one of the stools at my island to eat breakfast.

37. do americans actually have mailboxes or is that just in films

Yes, we do have mailboxes. I have one out by the street so the mail delivery person can drive right up to it in their truck and slide the mail in. I've also lived in a house that had a mail slot in the front door. Whether you have a mailbox or a mail slot depends entirely on how your city's postal service wants to deliver mail. Also, you can buy a mailbox that locks, but in most neighborhoods around where I live, it's highly unlikely that your mail would get stolen out of an unlocked mailbox.

38. why in shows/films do americans always go to the fridge and get a bottle of water and dramatically drink it in an argument

For the drama. And that only happens in shows/films.

39. Do Americans have fish fingers? I've never seen them in any American media / films etc

Oh, we have them, but they're considered pretty lowbrow as far as food goes. I'm sure they pop up on movies or shows where the characters aren't wealthy. I'm certainly not above eating them when I want something quick and easy from the freezer.

40. Why do Americans always eat meatloaf in films and tv? What is meatloaf?

This one made me laugh.

Meatloaf is a very iconic American food, and yet hardly anyone makes and eats it on a regular basis anymore. There are a lot of jokes that surround meatloaf, so the nuances of movie and tv characters having meatloaf are sometimes blunt and sometimes subtle: how horrible your mother-in-law/wife's meatloaf recipe is; how it symbolizes women's traditional place in the kitchen; how it's just a loaf of meat; how meatloaf symbolizes what a typical American family would eat at the dinner table; etc. For many, you either love it or your hate it. I think that the history of meatloaf as both a traditionally popular dinner entree and as a source of spousal contention is the reason it shows up in so many movies and tv shows.

I love meatloaf. A good meatloaf is a thing of beauty. Essentially, it's ground meat (most often ground chuck or hamburger mixed with ground sausage) mixed gently with bread crumbs as a binder, seasonings (like garlic, salt, and pepper, Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, cheese, and herbs), and a beaten egg or two. The resulting mixture is patted into a loaf shape or put into a dish or mold, topped with a tomato-based sauce, and then baked until the meat is cooked through. It's often served with mashed potatoes and vegetables. Leftover cold meatloaf slices were once a very popular sandwich filling (I like it reheated but not in a sandwich).

If you want to make meatloaf, this is one of my favorite recipes. If you don't have an InstantPot, cook the meatloaf in the oven at 350 deg. F (177 deg. C, or gas mark 4) for 45 minutes or more until cooked through, depending on how thick the loaf is.

41. I wish Americans in movies would just stop comparing the length of things to that of a football field. I have no idea how long that is.

Yeah, that would be irritating. I'm not a huge football fan, but as an American, I can hardly help but mentally visualize the general length of a football field, so creating mental images in my head based on the size of something compared to a football field is definitely easier for me than for someone who didn't grow up immersed in American football culture.

A football field is 360 feet long (about 110 meters). Hope that helps.


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