If that isn't a metaphor for life, I don't know what is.
I admit I laughed. The dog so obviously thought it was a fun game. I did feel bad for the cement worker, though, as it was a very long sidewalk.
Speaking of having paw prints in your freshly smoothed sidewalk, things have been a little rough for me lately--mentally and emotionally, that is. I think I'm coming out of it, but I find it very irritating to be depressed. I'm not often depressed, but the last few months have really thrown me for a loop. I can still function physically, and probably very few people would guess that I'm struggling so hard. It's not like I'm ashamed of being depressed, but I really don't like saying much about it except to people very close to me, and even then I'm not going to go on and on about it. Poor Husband gets the worst of it, as he has to watch me blubber and cry about stupid things while he tries to make me feel better. I guess I don't feel the need to shout it out loud because I do have hope that it will end--as it always has--and that I don't need to get depressed about being depressed, if that makes sense.
Several interesting things have happened recently:
My father-in-law just got called as the new Elders Quorum president. I'm still the Relief Society president (much to my dismay at times), so now I'm working closely with FIL. Let's just say he doesn't ever adopt a "wait and see the lay of the land" approach. He is a man of action. As a man of action, he has immediately started making sweeping changes to all the ministering assignments, and I'm either going to have to murder him for messing things up without even consulting me first or just learn to go with the flow and gently teach him that when he makes sweeping changes, he creates sweeping issues for me, too. He's not unreasonable, just headstrong, and he's still sort of stuck in the old Home Teaching mode. If I need to, I'll tattle on him to my MIL, who will quickly set him straight.
Prunella made an appearance a couple weeks ago. Sundays, in particular, have been very difficult for me, and I was especially--and annoyingly--emotional that particular Sunday. But the Lord bestows His tender mercies on me always, and during Sacrament Meeting, as I was struggling to keep my emotions in check and not leak out of my eyes and nose quite so much, I was suddenly blessed with an image of myself as a stone pillar. As soon as that image popped into my head, my negative emotions receded, and I was able to remain completely calm and even-keeled. I cannot describe to you how much of a relief that was. I didn't know Prunella was visiting our ward that day (I have neither seen nor heard from her since we last corresponded, and she's been attending another ward, where she is, apparently, much happier, and where the women adore her properly), and if the Lord hadn't blessed me with calmness, I would have been an utter basket case. Even worse, it was my turn to teach the lesson in Relief Society! But I was able to lead the discussion in perfect equanimity that day, even letting Prunella's comments, which were secret little barbed attacks at me, slide right off my back. I think I've managed to forgive her, even despite the texts she sent me later in the day, which were more little barbed attacks at me, and which I mostly ignored. I don't wish Prunella ill, and I do know the Lord loves her as much as He loves me. I may not feel any need or desire to try and create a new relationship with her, but I also don't feel anger toward her anymore. I don't think forgiveness requires you to trust a person you can no longer trust, but you can still wish them well.
At work, Johnny has backed way off on his attempts to try and change everything immediately because he got discouraged with the slow pace of the process. This has given me a chance to help him see that, a) I am taking his good ideas and pushing them in each of the committee meetings I attend (I am on the Driver Committee this year, which is a representative group of drivers, mechanics, attendants, and office staff who meet each month to go over news and issues, and where these good ideas are actually being put into practice over time), and b) that he really is appreciated even if his ideas aren't immediately and sweepingly adopted. I have given him some hope, I think. I have to laugh because now, after every committee meeting I attend, I have to report to a group of very interested drivers what was talked about. I take copious notes and then do a report--usually in Johnny's or Martin's buses while we're waiting for our high school kids at the end of the day. I can help them see that changes really are being made, and my job really is to represent the concerns of other drivers. I'm technically the representative for the preschool drivers, but we talk about all concerns in the meetings.
I won't bore you with more of the minutiae of my inner thoughts and struggles. My kids are doing all right, and Husband is plugging along, as well. This post is already really long. I'll post more about their adventures later.
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