Elannah has been stressing out about starting school. She's going into high school, so it's a new school and new classes and new adventures, but she doesn't feel ready. I told her she'll be okay, and that after tomorrow, she'll know exactly how prepared she actually is. Somehow, she doesn't believe me at the moment.
Sophia quit drill team earlier this summer. They did so well last year--after years of lackluster showings in competitions--and most of that is due to a new coach and assistant coaches. They worked hard last year, and they succeeded in winning Region and barely missed placing at State in their division. They also had fun as a team. They bonded, they became best friends, they supported each other.
This year, the coach has caught the winning bug, so she quit her day job as a teacher at a dance studio to focus solely on the drill team. Along with early-morning practices, she has instituted after-school practices and Saturday practices. Drill team practices all year long, not just for a season. Basically, being on drill team has now become a full time job, but if they work hard enough, chances are they can give the big southern schools a real run for their money this time--maybe come in first or second or third at State! All these practices are in addition to the endless fundraisers, because funding a competition-level drill team costs $30,000 a year and up, depending on your division. For the moms of drill team girls, there's never a dull moment: if you aren't driving your daughter to practices, you're heading up a fundraiser or cooking lunch for long practices or driving your daughter to extra dance technique classes or whatever else is needed at the moment.
As happens with everything of a competitive nature, adult egos got involved. I'm not dissing the coach because she's nothing if not absolutely dedicated to taking her team to victory, but there's a fine line between the benefits of being on a team and learning responsibility, how to support each other, and enjoying the bonding and just working to win it all, as if winning is the ultimate portrayer of worth.
Frankly, I was tired of it. I am not a Type A person, and all this school spirit and the need to win at all costs and the general hullaballoo leaves me pretty cold. I don't usually admit this out loud to a crowd of die-hard [school team] fans, but it's probably pretty obvious to everyone else even if I try to be as pleasant and social and supportive as possible. Go team!
So when Sophia casually mentioned she was thinking of quitting because it wasn't fun anymore and because she wanted to be in school plays and get a job (both of which being impossible with her practice schedule and drill team commitments), I did a happy dance in my mind. Outwardly, I remained neutral and left it up to her. I didn't want her to feel pressured to continue or quit based on my wishes and desires. Eventually, the coach told the girls that if they were thinking of quitting, now was the time, before they got seriously into competition routines. Sophia thought about it long and hard, and then informed her coach she was out. The coach was sad to see her go and was very kind and gracious (she really is a lovely woman), but now Sophia is done with it all and I'm not at all disappointed.
There are areas where I won't let my children quit. If they've made a commitment to be there for a specific performance or date and the team or group would be in a lurch without them, they have to stay in, even if it gets a little boring or inconvenient. Once their commitment is fulfilled, I'm more lenient. In Sophia's case, the whole thing was taking over her entire life, which is not what either of us signed up for. Given that the coach was telling the girls that now was a good time to leave without putting their teammates in a bad place later on, I was fine with Sophia quitting. Learning when to stick with it and when to let go are valuable life lessons.
Elannah will be fine, too. She's still learning what stuff is worth stressing out over and what stuff isn't, although it's easy for me to tell her--with the benefit of 25 years of experience past the ups and downs of high school--that most of what she's stressing about isn't important.
What's really fun is that Elannah and Sophia have a TV Broadcasting class together this year. They sometimes collaborate to make short films, so learning more about the equipment (and being able to check out stuff like boom mikes and whatnot to use at home) will help them increase production quality of their personal films. The following film they made makes me laugh every time. They have these dry senses of humor that show up in so many little ways: the count-off after Sophia says, "This is dangerous, so let's get things started," the seriousness with which they take their crappy stunts, the way Elannah does a little in-and-out breath before hanging on the tree...They laugh at me for how many times I've watched this thing.
It won't let me embed the video, so click the link here.
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