She's Fleeing the Nest

Elannah did an amazing job in her 6th grade talent show. She played the ukelele (which she's picked up very quickly) and sang a couple songs -- Train's "Hey, Soul Sister" and Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours." Though she got nervous and played each song pretty quickly, she never did mess up once. If she wasn't my own daughter, the ease with which she picks up new talents would have me writhing in jealousy and envy. Along with a great singing voice and musical ability, she has incredible coordination and can pick up any dance or gymnastics move within a very short amount of time. I still dance 80s style.

Sian's graduation ceremony happened last Thursday in a very large stadium in The Big City. For the most part, it was pretty much like any other American high school graduation ceremony, with speeches about remembering all the good times and moving forward with courage and confidence. Family and friends of the graduates cheered and yelled, and some nearly burst our eardrums with air horns at every opportunity.

I experienced, however, a moment of supreme anger at one point when a girl who was receiving a scholarship was given credit for Sian's hard work as editor-in-chief of her school newspaper. This girl's actions have caused Sian a great deal of stress and frustration throughout the year, and to hear her be given credit for Sian's efforts -- hours of time-consuming labor and worry while trying to herd a team of reporters and editors into finishing on deadline and keeping their work top quality -- was enough to make me see stars. This girl desperately wanted to be chosen as editor-in-chief, and when she wasn't (because she didn't have the experience or the skill that Sian did), she allowed people to assume with some carefully chosen words that she was, in fact, the editor-in-chief. If I were a different person, I might have stood up and yelled something blistering and wildly incomprehensible (along with some inadvertent spitting), much to Sian's complete and utter embarrassment.

As it was, I seethed silently while the strings ensemble, including Sian, moved to the podium to play a Mozart piece. The large family group seated directly behind us saw this musical number as an opportunity to visit amongst themselves at normal voice and carried on an extensive conversation while I tried to hear the strains of Mozart wafting up from the podium. Finally, husband turned around and said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to listen to my daughter play!" They apologized and reduced the conversation to whispers. But I was still mad.

I was still mad after the ceremony ended a couple hours later. It was Sian who talked me down, and she didn't harbor any resentment toward this girl or what she was sure was a simple mistake on the principal's part. If she can let it go, I can let it go, I guess. Sian is an old soul. Sometimes I wonder where she came from, since she's often more mature than her mother.

She may be mature for her age, but she still chose to wear bright pink satin tennis shoes with her graduation robes. Good girl.

Yesterday, Husband and I drove Sian to her job in The Big City, where she is doing full time data entry for an alarm company. As she got out of the car, dressed in a nice skirt and blouse because she doesn't own any "business casual" clothes, my eyes suddenly filled with tears. It finally really hit me that she's all grown up and will be fleeing the nest. My precious dark-haired baby with the startlingly blue eyes and porcelain skin is suddenly a young woman setting out on her own.

I pulled away from the building and sniffed, gulping hard to hold back the sobs. "Hey, remember you're driving!" Husband reminded me. "Don't start crying just now." I managed to pull myself together and avoid killing us both, but it doesn't change the fact that nothing will ever be the same. Who knows what the next few years will bring for my daughter as she takes her first adult steps into a dangerous world? I find great comfort in the fact that she is also a young woman of great faith and testimony, who believes strongly in the importance of virtue and personal integrity as guides in her life. Whatever experiences she goes through, I believe she will only continue to grow in wisdom and strength. I'm a blessed woman to be her mother and the mother to all my children.