Let's Get Naked!

Little Gary keeps coming up to me and saying, "Great catch!" and then swatting me on the behind.

A week ago, he said to me in sepulchral tones, "Food...water...atmosphere!"

And while we stood in the checkout line at the store, I was holding him to keep him from running freely and happily out the exit without me. He kissed me on the cheek and shouted, "Let's get naked!" Let's just say I didn't get the "good parenting approval glance" from anyone behind us.

I know where he gets a lot of the phrases he repeats, and it's my fault. He gets them from Spongebob Squarepants, which is his absolute favorite show of choice now that Dora the Explorer has dropped to second place in his personal ranking system. As my youngest son gets older, it's increasingly more difficult for me to get my work done while his siblings are at school. I cringe that he watches so many episodes of Spongebob, but one of his favorite things is for us to cuddle up together and watch a show. I've seen so much Spongebob I can tell you that in the "let's get naked" episode, Spongebob and Patrick are trying to sell chocolate without much success. Discussing possible sales approaches, Patrick says, "Let's get naked!" and Spongebob replies in perfect deadpan, "Nah, let's save that for when we're selling real estate." Maybe Little Gary remembers that scene so embarrassingly well because I laugh every time I see it.

Usually, I'm feeling a complex mixture of emotions, ranging from joy that I can spend time with my son (even if it means some Spongebob viewing, which is still WAY better than watching Dora episodes. YAWN!) and stress that I have so much to do and can't get it done. Oddly enough, I have to be able to think in order to write what I write, and it's hard to think when Little Gary is demanding attention. And, really, he has every right to my undivided attention -- at least for a while. He's only going to be three once. The problem is that when the older girls get home, they're tired from school and don't feel all that excited to take him on a bug hunt or play Indiana Jones on the PS3. Then, when the younger three get home, there's the constant knocking on my door, the phone ringing, the problems that need resolving, lessons or appointments they need to be driven to, and complaints about there being no snacks in any part of the house. Frankly, as a stay-at-home mother, there is just no good time to sit for hours and think up clever sentences for my articles. Something and someone gets neglected. If I had an office outside the house, things would still get neglected but I would be able to ignore it better.

Last night, I asked Husband to make dinner so I could finish some articles. I didn't have any plans, and I hadn't been to the store, so he had to get creative. He rose to the task admirably, and when dinner was ready, we feasted on scrambled eggs, petite pois, hot dogs with hamburger buns, fries, and canned chili beans.

The obvious solution to my dilemma is to never sleep. I could get a lot done in those dark, silent hours of the night. That just doesn't seem to work, however, so I struggle along. I wouldn't work if I didn't have to, but on the other hand, it's nice to know I'm improving my writing skills and being creative (as creative as you can be when the article you're writing is about cement foundations)while bringing in some much-needed cash. If I've got my A game going on, I make a lot of money per hour. My fingers fly, my bank account says ca-ching!

(Just so you don't think I'm making the BIG bucks, "ca-ching" is pretty relative. I make way more per hour than working at Wal-Mart, but I don't work eight hours a day. At least, I don't work eight hours a day writing.)

I'm thinking of applying for Little Gary to get into pre-school. If he gets in, he'll get a chance to play with other children during the week, since I never think to schedule play dates for him. That would cut down on the Spongebob consumption, and maybe he wouldn't spout sudden and inappropriate exclamations at the store. (I'm not sure where the "Good catch!" butt-swatting thing came from, however.) For now, I have decided to spend time with him during the morning and early afternoon and then just grit my teeth and get my writing done as well as possible in the late afternoon and evening, despite the constant interruptions. It would certainly help if I just sat down and made a meal plan and did the shopping, because then the girls and Husband can cook dinner while I finish up. I sometimes get up early to write in peace and quiet, but Little Gary has taken to early risings, as well. He's uncanny.