Demons...OUT!

Call me a demon slayer; or, at least, a demon butt-kicker.

Yesterday, my personal demon, the one assigned to me by the dark Powers That Be, sat on my shoulder and told me all the failures and weaknesses I've ever had, and probably even invented a few, he was that thorough. He's a fairly small demon, obviously, to be able to fit on my shoulder, but he packs a powerful punch. He has a go at me once in a while, and when he starts talking very insistently, I start to feel like some deformed and hideous excuse for a human being, a thing to be villified and run out of town. Then I get the urge to go sit in a closet, to hide from the world; for who in the world could love such a flawed and ugly worm such as myself?

Fortunately, I also have a shoulder angel. Shoulder Angel waits until I'm ready to have a full-blown pity party, and then he starts telling me how ludicrous Shoulder Demon really is. At first it's hard to believe anything Shoulder Angel is telling me because I'm fully in the power of Shoulder Demon, convinced I'll never stop making mistakes and having weaknesses that render me unloveable, but worthy only of the greatest contempt. But Shoulder Angel is as persistent as Shoulder Demon, and eventually I start listening to reason. Shoulder Angel is much more fun to listen to, in the end.

Yes, I am pretty flawed. I make a lot of mistakes. When I compare myself to others, I compare my weaknesses to their strengths. I am not this incredible perfection of a human being that I wish I could be sometimes, this ideal that I constantly compare myself to and find myself severely lacking.

So what? (That's Shoulder Angel talking)

Where is it written that we must achieve perfection before death? And where is it written that even the most flawed human on earth is not loved by the greatest being in the universe? On the contrary! It IS written that the greatest being in the universe has such a capacity for love that it doesn't matter how weak or small or wormlike you are or feel yourself to be. You are loved. And that makes you worthy of picking yourself up and trying again.

Mistakes will be made. Life will be messy. Weight will be gained; the house will not be perfect; the kids will fight; sometimes you say the wrong things (or don't say the right things); and sometimes others will be less than charitable to you. Sometimes you will be less than charitable to others, or to yourself.

And yet, life is glorious, exciting, and full of lessons to be learned. There are children who love you, true friends who overlook your flaws and shortcomings, love always felt when you ask that greatest being in the universe for a little boost. Then you FLICK that nasty Shoulder Demon off your shoulder and listen with satisfaction to his prolonged "Aaaaaaaaaaah!" fading out of earshot. You realize you don't have time to wallow in self-pity or regret or guilt. These things are unworthy and counterproductive and are tools of the Shoulder Demon. Since he's gone, why should you hang on to his tools? Throw them off, shake them away. They are dark things and burn when you touch them.

Shoulder Angel jumps up and down with glee and happiness, shouting out encouragement. Right the wrongs! Do the right! Learn the lessons! Bask in love! You won't end up perfect, but you'll keep trying. And the next time that Shoulder Demon winds his insidious words of self-hatred into your ear, you know Shoulder Angel will be right there to counteract them. It is his way.