I'm Not Psychic AND I'm Unreliable

Wow. I'm so very reliable. And guess what: I'm not even posting pictures at this time.

My kids accuse me all the time of going back on my promises, but the thing is, I have learned to give disclaimers after everything I say we may possibly do. I'll say something like, "I really need to go to the store and get some more milk," and five kids will chime in wanting to accompany me (argh!), but at the moment I utter the statement about going to the store, I'm in the middle of seven other things and remember that I also have to drive [insert child's name] to [insert destination] and still make dinner and complete my text writing for work and possibly get the laundry folded if I can squeeze it in. So, later, when I announce that it's bedtime, I get a chorus of wails and accusations.

"You promised we were going to the store and I could come and I wanted to go because I wanted to wear my Heelies [shoes with wheels in the heels] and buy something with my money and now you're BREAKING YOUR PROMISE!"

All I said was I needed milk.

So now I have learned to either keep my mouth shut in the first place or, if I have unwisely spoken out loud, to add the disclaimer, "...but I don't know if I can do that anytime in the next few years or so."

Which reminds me: I should get some pictures posted, but I get distracted and so I don't know if I can do that anytime in the next few years or so.

(Not that any of you have accused me of breaking my promise. For that I thank you from the depths of my heart.)

So, want to hear the latest news? If you're still reading this, I'll assume you'll continue, possibly because of the laws of inertia.

Husband has submitted his short story to several publications and it has been rejected every time. While it's discouraging, he is keeping in mind that he may have hours and hours of writing ahead of him before he gets published at all. Personally, (and this is a professional opinion and not merely a doting wife's opinion) I think his story is hilarious and well written. The first time I read it, I laughed so hard I was choking. Just last night I suggested he submit it to some British publications, as his humor is, naturally, British and may appeal or be understood more over there. He is almost finished giving his novel the once-over, but I think he's going to change the plot line a little.

My work as a professional writer and editor is both fun and exhausting. I often get clients who expect me to be psychic and this happens more often then you would think. I will get some information from them and then write up two or three pages of website text, only to find that they are upset because I didn't add information that they were apparently only sending me mind-to-mind. Usually, when I explain that my psychic powers are, as yet, mostly undeveloped, they are very nice about it. A couple clients have been upset enough to get really mad. When that happens, I just pass them up the line to my more psychic supervisor. I also haven't written text for the same type of website twice. I've done plush dolls, a clothing boutique, insurance adjusters, and electrical services, to name a few. I don't know much about most of that stuff. I'm mostly winging it.

The kids are doing well. Sian got a part in the high school play, which surprised her. She only tried out because she has to get 40 hours of backstage work in for this semester of her stage crew class, and the current school play is Man of La Mancha, which requires the actors onstage to move sets and scenery. She figured the only way she'd get enough hours was to actually be in the play, so she tried out for the chorus. She ended up getting an actual part (the horse and a gypsy). I think she may have caught the acting bug now.

Gabrielle managed to break her little toe over the Christmas holidays, so she has been on crutches for a while. She was running down the stairs and slipped at the bottom, ramming her foot into the door jamb of the family room. (Did you know Walmart will lend you crutches for a $25 deposit? You get the money back when you bring the crutches back.) This has put a crimp on her active lifestyle, of course. She's having a hard time accepting that she can't play basketball for a few more weeks.

The rest of the kids are doing well. I could go into individual descriptions, but this post would become more like a tome, although I just checked the length and it's at least a novella.

Don't Drop Dead With Shock

I have batteries for the camera! I knew if I waited long enough I would find an amazing deal on batteries and be very happy I kept forgetting to buy batteries. Sure enough, good things come to those who procrastinate or have a Swiss-cheese memory.

Now ask me if I've gone around and taken pictures of the house.
Go on.

no.

But I will tonight because -- cue the angelic trumpets -- all the kids did their chores and the house is in an almost completely tidy state. That was before dinner, of course, so you will have to excuse the kitchen. It is what it is. Just know that I did have it shining and spotless for whole minutes earlier today.

I'll post the pictures tomorrow. Tonight it's bedtime for the children 'cause I'm tired.

Unorganized Ramblings During the Holiday Corridor

Goodbye, Thanksgiving. Hello, Christmas.

Time sure does fly. I call this the Holiday Corridor, which starts with Halloween and goes frantically until the end of the year. Because I tend to visualize most things, this time of year is a visual of a big mess in my head. There is a feeling of frantic energy, of mopping things up before the new year starts, of hoping to accomplish a gazillion things and only accomplishing a few.

I do, of course, understand the Reason for the Season, and I enjoy spending time with my family on the holidays, as well as quiet reflection on the blessings I have. But I can't get rid of the overall impression this time of year has always had on me.

For those of you not my friends on Facebook (are there any? Does anyone even read this anymore, what with my long absences?), here's the latest news:

I got a job as a free-lance writer for a web design company. It's part-time and allows me to work from home. Aside from the necessity of phoning clients during business hours, I have a very flexible schedule. It's the ideal job. I get to wrack my brains (and heat up the thesaurus) coming up with inviting text and keywords (to optimize search-engine searches, of course. Ha! Kind of a steep learning curve there.) for clients whose companies and services have never been the same twice. I know a lot more about private labeling of dietary supplements or what exactly a party bus is for, for instance, than I used to. I have been doing pretty well at it, figuring out how to organize myself to be efficient. All but one of my clients have liked me and my work.

The first couple weeks were quite stressful. It's not like I am taking something out of my duties; I am simply adding more to them. For a while I was walking around unconsciously wringing my hands and feeling my stomach churn in unpleasant rhythms, trying to prioritize work, kids, housework, cooking, church calling, etc., etc. It was a little overwhelming. Also, not having an office to go to is hard. I can close and lock the door when I need to make a phone call, but the kids find that an invitation to knock long and loudly if they need anything -- anything at all. I've had to explain to a couple clients that I work from home because of that. I wouldn't want them thinking I'm in a construction zone or that the boss is yelling at me and having a temper tantrum. Fortunately, those clients have been very understanding.

Other than the kids still getting used to me not being available all the time, I am very, very happy to have this job. We need the extra income and I can still be Mom.

I have been called as the 1st Counselor in our ward Relief Society. (The Relief Society is the LDS church's organization for women, and it's the largest women's organization in the world. Our motto is: Charity Never Faileth.) So far, I haven't had to be running here and there too much, but I have to get to know a new ward's worth of women and figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. I have never served in a RS presidency before.

I burst a tire driving into a curb while successfully avoiding a collision and we spent some Christmas money on two new tires for the van. Merry Christmas to the van! No one was hurt, thankfully. Husband and I waited three hours for a tow-truck (we chose to call it a "date," since we got to sit and talk without any interruption whatsoever because the kids were safely and warmly with my parents and brother) and spent the weekend at my parents' house in the Big City because no tire stores were open by that point on Saturday night. I think that was the first time I've really thought of this house as HOME. It was nice to spend time at my parents' house (the kids were very happy about it, as it was the first home for most of them), but after a couple days without a change of clothes, deodorant, or a toothbrush, it was a relief to get home. Once we have a piano, I will never need to leave this house.

[Insert Murphy's Law jokes about extra money and cars suddenly needing fixing here:]

Shameless Choir Performance Plug

For the last nine weeks I have been attending rehearsals for a choir. This choir, 340+ women strong, will sing on November 28 on Temple Square in Salt Lake in the Tabernacle. Our songs have a Christmas theme and there will be bells and a harp accompanying, as well as that famous Tabernacle Organ.

Mostly I just love it because I love that sense of being part of something bigger than myself. I've always been a Big Picture Gal, and being one 2nd Alto among 340 women and hearing all the pieces and parts working together is magic. Plus, I love choirs because a person who does not have a solo voice (me) can still have all the fun of singing and performing.

I signed up to be in this choir sometime last spring, and by the time rehearsals started in September we had barely moved to a new city 45 miles away. Since the rehearsals happen to be in our old neighborhood (at my old Stake Center, no less!), the commute got a lot longer all of a sudden. The thing is, I wouldn't miss any rehearsal for any reason other than a dire emergency. Every Sunday night I drive into town, belting along with the practice CD. After the two-hour rehearsal, I visit my parents for a few minutes and then drive home, happy and full of the spirit.

Some of you may be familiar with Merilee Webb, the director of the choir. She was actually featured briefly in an issue of the LDS News. If you've ever had a chance to meet her or sing under her direction, you'll know that rehearsals are two parts singing to one part laughing so hard snot is coming out your nose. Last night we also made leis to wear in the concert. They involve a couple skeins of Fun Fur yarn, a McDonald's straw -- has to be from McDonald's! -- a ribbon and some tape. If anyone is interested, tell me and I'll buy cameral batteries (ha ha) and show you how. They're fun crafts for the kids.(Merilee spent years in Hawaii teaching at BYU-Hawaii and starts each rehearsal with a Hawaiian chant and a big "ALOHA!")

Just thought I'd share that. If you want to come, get free tickets online at www.lds.org/events. I'd love to see you there.

Cows, mice and horses in the country air.

And so time and times have passed. Where did it go?

I still haven't taken pictures. At some things I procrastinate badly, usually when I'm taking care of the other things I'd LIKE to procrastinate on but can't. I haven't even bought new batteries for the camera. But it's silly just not writing, isn't it?

We have settled into our new home pretty nicely. Because we didn't bring all our stuff with us, there is a lot less of it around the house to create a mess. In fact, I still have a lot of boxes I haven't unpacked simply because I don't know where to put it and am reluctant to just put it somewhere. I would rather have a specific place, in a specific container, to create organization. This means, of course, that I'm constantly tapping my forehead trying to remember which box something is in and if it's here or if it's still at the old house.

Since we've been here, we have gone through quite a time with illness. I don't know if it's the place or just the season, but the kids keep coming down with stuff. It seems like every week someone has a new symptom, so I've been joking that we're getting the flu in bits and pieces. We've had a couple asthma scares and had to get steroids for the afflicted child, but that seems to have passed, thank goodness.

So, other than that and the mice that have moved into the back of the cupboards in the kitchen, we are loving this place.

The kids run around with a gazillion kids in the neighborhood. Elannah has three friends either across the street or around the corner a couple houses. The same goes for Sophia as well as Joseph. After school the house is filled with the tromping of neighbor children and all the cups are dirty by the end of the day.

I've made a few friends, myself, which has been nice. I've never been one to just hang out with a girlfriend for hours on end, but it's nice to know some people around me. A house a few doors down caught on fire the other day and all the neighbors were out watching the fire trucks and firemen running around hooking up hoses and taking care of business. It wasn't a serious fire, thank goodness. The owner of the house had actually managed to extinguish the fire in a back bedroom by spraying a hose through the window and was quite upset when the firemen showed up and bodily removed her so they could douse the entire room with water. She said they caused more damage with the water than the fire did. But all of us offered our help to clean up, and it felt good to be part of a neighborhood again.

With all the kids around here, trick-or-treating on Halloween was a blast. Little Gary is still talking about it. We'll walk outside and he'll see a lingering jack o'lantern on someone's doorstep and say, "Trick-or-treating fun, huh, Mama?"

Husband's commute has been fine. He uses the time to listen to the scriptures in the morning and books on tape in the evening.

The wind is fierce out here. When it blows, it sounds like a hurricane trying to tear the house down. I'll lie in bed at night listening to the howling and then hear the freight train passing by on the tracks across the field and think that at least it isn't sirens. When you hear a police siren out here, it's big news. Very unusual.

Because of the mouse problem, we retrieved one of the cats from my parents' house. He happens to be my favorite cat of all time, so it wasn't hard to want him out here. Plus, my dad said Myles (the cat) was getting depressed. He would walk through all the rooms we have vacated, looking for the kids to pet him. Since we brought Myles out here, though, he has not been the fierce hunter he was. I think our backyard is another cat's territory, so Myles will barely step off the back deck into the yard. When I do go out into the yard and leave the back door open, Myles often comes out to get me and bring me safely inside again, meowing earnestly at me until I close the door. Maybe there's something much worse than a territorial tom prowling around, but I haven't seen it yet. He's started venturing out a little more now, but he's still very, very skittish. He does, however, hear those little mousy feet scampering behind the oven and he very much wants to play with a mouse.

I actually caught a mouse myself, horribly enough. When I say "caught" I mean I accidentally picked up a mouse carcass that had drowned in a pot of water I was soaking. I guess that's a good mousetrap, but I don't necessarily want my cooking pots to be mousetraps. Ew. And also yuck. I will have to call an exterminator. There are two drawers that the mice have been getting into and I've cleared out all the cooking utensils from those drawers, of course, and I keep them closed all the time. I don't know how that mouse got on the countertop. They're sneaky little things. I don't want to use poison because I don't want rotting mouse carcasses where I can't get at them.

Since being here, we realize that although we tried our best to find a house within our budget, we are very house poor. This means we need more income. This means I have found a job I can do at home on a part-time basis. I am now a freelance writer for a company that develops websites for businesses. I get paid by the word and a few other things that I have to do with the clients, but it means I can work on a flexible schedule and still be Mom all day. I'm very happy about it. Our goal is to become debt free (see Dave Ramsey's books) as soon as possible, and have a good savings. And, of course, a full stocked food storage, which I think is better than cash (especially if the dollar becomes next to worthless) or gold. You can't eat gold. You can trade and bargain with salt, however.

That's enough rambling for even the most die-hard reader. I will definitely try to be more consistent in my reportings. We'll see how that goes, what with my job and all.

The Government Can!

I thought this was hilarious, so I'm sharing it with you today.

Seat 16 But Break Your Back

Hello, friends! I'm baaaack!

Now that you've breathed that sigh of relief (ha ha), get a mug of your hot beverage of choice and sit back to read the fascinating adventures I've been through in the last little while.

We've set up the house now with electricity, water, sewage, garbage pick-up, gas, etc., etc. of course, and should even be getting our mail delivered to our mailbox that I had to repeatedly assure the nice post office lady IS INDEED still out front of the house (I even put our name in sticky letters over the previous owner's name. I got quite a thrill out of that.).

Little Gary has found and locked himself into the two bedrooms that had key-lock entries, prompting two seperate calls to the same locksmith because the previous owners (from now on to be referred to as "the PO"), when consulted, admitted that the keys had been lost years ago. Sure, I tried to credit card the locks as well as explain to a two-year-old how to turn the little button in the doorknob that would release him from his prison -- and before you ask, the hinges were on the side of the door containing said two-year-old -- but only a locksmith could get him out in the end. We (me and the locksmith) are now best friends. He was a little disappointed that we fixed all the key-lock doorknobs after that and he won't be making more money off that particular problem, but he was a lovely, grandfatherly type with gray hair and a gray beard who told me funny stories about his own children.

One toilet has been blocked up and I bought the inaugural plunger to fix the problem (it got fixed); my friend, Shanna, lent us a microwave until I can buy the under-cabinet microwave I want (THANK YOU, SHANNA!); and we had an interesting design and decorating issue with a table we bought from the school district auction. It's one of those school lunch tables that fold up in the middle. This one has 16 blue stools for seats, which we thought would be great because not only will it seat our family and extended family, but we could fold it up and store it against the wall when not in use. Let me just share a picture of it with you.



Also, let me assure you that it weighed upward of a gazillion tons (I know because Husband and I had to unfold it, tip it on its side, and LIFT it to get it into the house), and while I may be a strong and sturdy woman, I simply could not open and close that behemoth by myself. Plus, as you'll notice, it pretty much takes over the whole main floor and changes the dynamic of the serene and comfortable decorating style I hope to implement. It was a great idea, though. It's a great idea we have up for sale at the moment. (Another quick thank-you to Shanna for the use of her truck to pick it up from the warehouse.)If we had a patio instead of a deck, we'd use it outside for family functions.

On a side note, some guy is trying to scam me out of the table. Even I, a trusting girl, can see that.
Stupid idiot.
Him, I mean.
Not me.

This neighborhood is full of children. They run about like little ants as soon as school is out, all over the place. My kids, coming from a neighborhood much more elderly and sedate, are not yet used to the idea that they can run around outside and play all evening (after homework, of course). It will take them a while to adjust. Little Gary is loving the fully fenced and grassy back-yard, meanwhile. That kid would live outside like a cute infant wild animal if I let him.

Many of the neighbors have stopped by to welcome us. Our next-door neighbor brought us a big bag of her home-grown tomatoes that were perfect and sweet and amazing and which were completely and utterly eaten. I'm trying to compose a thank-you note that doesn't sound like a desperate plea for more.

I'll have pictures next time. I have to remember to buy batteries yet again for our camera, but then I will give you a photo tour of the entire house. Just keep in mind that I haven't painted yet. We also have many fewer possessions than previously (woo-hoo!). Things are a little sparse at the moment, which is a very good thing.