Conversation Starters

I've spent lots of time hanging out with Sophia and little Bam-Bam. He's putting on some weight and looking a little less like a pruny newborn. He's alert longer in the day, so I have been enjoying some quality time having staring contests with him while telling him how handsome he is. 

Fed, burped, and sleepy. And so is he.

Sophia has been recovering very well from the delivery, which makes me very happy. Bam-Bam doesn't have a massive head like Siân's littlest one, who fractured her pelvis (though I love that big-headed little boy with all my heart!). Sophia is loving being a mom to this little guy, but I know she still feels a bit overwhelmed--especially when Matt is gone at work. I told her that after she has two children, she will completely forget what she used to do when she had time for herself. In some ways, that's a blessing. It allows you to focus on developing healthy schedules for you and your kids without always pining about all the activities you used to enjoy when your time was your own. She's a natural at being a mother, and I am so proud of her!

 My youngest son, Gary, gave his first talk in Sacrament Meeting a couple weeks ago on Fathers Day. He did a great job and even cracked a joke using sublime comedic timing, which made everyone laugh. I may have written his talk, but I didn't write that joke. That was all him. For all of his talk, he spoke clearly and slowly enough to be understood while making eye contact with members of the congregation. You would not have been able to tell this was his first public speech. He looked comfortable and relaxed. He looked sharp in his new suit. Well done, kid! He did a great job, and he got tons of compliments. He even got another one today, a couple weeks later!

This kid keeps growing! He is at least six feet tall with another year or so of growing, so finding trousers that fit both his tiny waist and his long legs is a constant battle. He does enjoy reminding me that he is now much taller than I am.

Husband has completed his Great Garage Cleanout and turned it into an organized shop. He does wood and resin projects, and he figured out how to create plenty of work space for himself as well as space for all the things we need to store. He's amazing. We don't actually use the garage to park cars. It might be a double garage, but it doesn't comfortably accommodate large vehicles unless you don't intend to open the door and exit the vehicle once inside the garage, so the garage is more useful as storage/workshop space. 

During the garage cleanout, Husband brought a bunch of my things inside: mostly cloth and crafting stuff I'd forgotten about as well as some photos from college and my mission. I've been slowly working the crafting stuff I wanted to keep into my craft room, and I found some photo corners and scrapbooks to house the loose photos and keep them preserved.

One thing that came in from the garage was a jar I must have made back in our old house when I was in the Young Womens organization there. It is filled with slips of colored paper that have conversation starters printed on them.

Here is a sample of the questions:

"What would you do if you were invited to two parties at the same time?"

Easy. Give some excuse about being busy to both parties and stay home. 

"Should you have chores around the house? Why or why not?"

If I didn't have chores, no one around here would ever eat home cooked food, and men certainly don't see when bathrooms need cleaning! But I am grateful my mother and father made me do chores as a child despite how much I complained. I learned some valuable skills, even if one of them was how to sneakily pretend to vacuum the living room and get away with it.

"When have you felt lonely?"

The incident that first popped into my head was a time back when I was a senior in high school. My friend group was some of the youth from my ward, and none of us went to the same schools, and we were spread out over the entire city, so getting together was kind of a big deal. I looked forward to hanging out with my friends even if the boys drove me crazy sometimes. There was lots of laughter and teasing.

I had recently and finally recovered from a crush I had nursed for one of the young men, Peter (not his real name), and that was very helpful in this situation, because he had always been aware of my crush on him and was a bit smug about it. He kept calling and asking where my best friend, Kay (not her real name), was. I found out over the course of a couple calls that our other friend, Bertram (not his real name), was at Peter's and George's (not his real name) house (Peter and George were brothers), so the gang was all nearly together except that Peter wasn't interested in finding out if I could come over, he only wanted to know where Kay was. 

A bit miffed, I tried to call Kay myself. I think I managed to get her on the phone and I told her that Peter was looking for her. She was confused, but she thanked me and hung up. 

Hours went by. Kay wasn't answering her phone after I initially got in touch with her (this was in the time of land lines, kids, so if someone wasn't home to answer the phone, you had to wait and wonder). Peter never called back. I huffily spent that Friday evening by myself. It wasn't until several days later that I learned what had happened, and then I was exceedingly glad that I had thoroughly recovered from that stupid crush on Peter.

Peter either called Kay or Kay called Peter, but in any event, Peter invited Kay over to his house. She went over and hung out with Peter and Bertram all evening. After a few hours, Bertram left, and Kay ended up making out with Peter for quite a while. Apparently, Peter and Bertram had made a bet that one of them could get Kay to make out with them, and Peter won. 

That incident made me feel lonely. 

It took a while for Kay to tell me what happened, and I felt some betrayal at the whole thing, even though I didn't care for Peter romantically anymore (this was just one of the many types of things that helped me overcome my crush). Kay had known about my crush for a long time, and she had even had a crush on Peter's brother, George. I don't think our group really recovered after that. Kay moved with her family to another state at some point that year. The rest of us drifted apart as I wasn't close friends with either Peter or Bertram on their own. I also started dating a boy who didn't know any of them. I went off to college and made new friends, though Kay and I did stay friends for a long time. Distance made it difficult, and Kay and I eventually lost contact--probably when I went on my mission. I was never really mad at Kay, but I was disgusted with Peter and Bertram for quite a while. It gave me a little satisfaction that Peter could tell I no longer had a crush on him, but I mostly didn't care. We were still friendly when we saw each other, but the old gang was no more.

Now that I've written it out, I can forget all about it. I guess I still had some angst to get over if that incident popped up in my memory so fast, hahaha! I'm in my 50's and that happened when I was 18, so that's a little embarrassing.

"What is your favorite thing about yourself?"

That despite how discouraged I get with my weaknesses and my lack of talent in areas where I want to be talented, I keep plugging along, even if it takes me a while to buck up and give myself some grace. 

Case in point: my piano teacher suggested a piece for me to play for a recital in August. He handed me Chopin's Etude, Opus 10 No. 3, otherwise known as Tristesse. I laughed and laughed, but he was serious. He thinks I can do it. Based on his belief alone, I have stuck with it. I have dreamed it and breathed it. It's always playing through my head (which does make concentrating on other things hard sometimes). I wouldn't have kept going with it if he didn't say he was sure I could do it. I'm still terrible at it, but I have improved quite a bit, and that has brought me a lot of joy. I don't think I would have pushed myself that hard on my own because I would not have believed it was possible for me to master it. 

Even if I don't perfect it well enough to play at the recital (I do have a backup piece), I have been able to forgive myself for not being good at it sooner. 

Okay, that is entirely enough about myself. Sorry. The need to write does push me here, and the desire to not expose too much sensitive information about others in my life means I write about myself most of the time. Thanks for your patience, dear reader. I hope your day is going well and that you have something to look forward to that brings you joy, even if it's two parties you've been invited to.