Natural Immunity

 Today is Day 3 of having tested positive for Covid-19, Day 5 of coming down with flu-like symptoms. 

Oh, the politics of not having had a Covid jab and then getting sick and testing positive! 

If you're in my position, you know that some people in this country are sincerely hoping we'll die for our sin of not getting the shots. Fortunately, no one I personally know has been that cruel to my face, but I still find it disheartening the implication from well-meaning people that if I had just had the jabs, I wouldn't be sick now--as if anyone could know that sort of thing. There is a lot of vitriol going on right now, however. Can you ever think of a time when people actually and sincerely hoped that others would be denied medical care and die in a horrible, terrible manner just because they were reluctant to get experimental injections and wanted to wait and see? To wish others to die horribly in order to be proven right...what a weird time to be alive.

Here's why I haven't had a Covid injection:

1. I'm highly, highly skeptical of shots that have not gone through rigorous safety testing--usually for ten years before being approved by the FDA (the credibility of the FDA is another story, of course) and used on the public. After researching the subject, I'm also highly skeptical of mRNA shots being successful (and any shots being successful against a coronavirus!) when they have never been successfully developed before in all the decades people have been trying to make them. In previous mRNA studies, the animals used in the studies have all died, and now, suddenly, we have "safe and effective" mRNA shots in less than a year!? I think I have done enough serious research to justify my own desire to wait and see. I also think that data from Israeli studies has justified my skepticism to a large degree where American data is skewed to fit a specific narrative. Setting aside all my other worries about government power grabs and the desire to resist having medical procedures forced upon anyone, not just myself, the data alone seems to be bearing out the idea that natural immunity is more broad and longer-lasting than the immunity to specific spike proteins provided by the jabs, the jabs also carrying with them some risk of short- and long-term negative side effects--some of which may only show up in the next few years. 

2. I have a strong immune system despite being middle-aged and overweight. Before this last week, I haven't needed to take a sick day for over five years. I didn't take one sick day last year, and I never took a sick day during the entire four-and-a-half years when I was driving a school bus. There are other things going on with me, but catching every bug that comes along has never been one of them. I decided that the risk of getting sick with Covid was more acceptable to me than the risk of getting the jabs and then possibly still getting sick with Covid. The injections seemed to pose more possibility of injury than the risks of Covid for my particular situation. Just before I got sick last Saturday, I had a bout of severe diarrhea which I think lowered my immune resistance. I know: ew! You didn't want to know that. But if people who are not medical doctors are going to lecture me like they are medical doctors, then they're going to hear medical doctor kind of stuff. (I'm sorry if you got caught in the crossfire there.)

3. Most importantly, twice now I have had strong spiritual warnings to not take the jabs (though I'm not saying that is the right answer for everyone). 

The first time was when my parents were getting the J&J jab earlier this year. My mom had been praying really hard about it, and that was the one she felt overwhelmingly that she and my dad needed to get. My mom has great spiritual acuity, so I thought, "Well, if Mom feels that way, I'll get the J&J jab, too," but as soon as I thought it, the Spirit slammed through me with a definitive, "NO!" When my seminary faculty all ran off to get the shots the moment they were available, I didn't make a big deal out of it but I did quietly explain why I wouldn't be joining them. They didn't agree with me, but they didn't argue with me. The fact that others might doubt my spiritual answers when they are convinced their own decisions are correct for everyone doesn't make me any less obligated to follow my own spiritual promptings. Yes, there is plenty of peer pressure among Church members, too, but no one should follow anyone else blindly.

The second time was after the LDS Church's First Presidency message was released urging members to get the jabs, stating that they are "safe and effective." I admit that I was initially stunned and even angry about that. I had read enough about some of the serious adverse events of these injections to be shocked that the prophet (a brilliant and highly sought after heart surgeon in his former career) and other leaders could make a blanket statement about experimental mRNA injections being safe and effective, and even more stunned that they came out with a directive about it at all instead of urging members to carefully study and pray about their own personal circumstances, consulting with their medical doctors, and making their own decisions. Husband and I had a few very long talks about my feelings of betrayal in that regard, but he is wise and helped me set aside my emotion and think through things logically. In the end, I realized that I would rather be humble before the Lord than arrogantly tell Him what I think should happen and then suffer the consequences of being incredibly short-sighted. I do, however, always reserve the right to pray about and get confirmation from the Lord through the Spirit on anything the Church leaders have to say. It took a little doing, but I did put myself into the mindset of humility, successfully identifying and releasing the fear of having been proven wrong in front of others and, thus, suffering a severe blow to my pride. I was ready to get injected if that's what the Lord asked of me. So I went to the Lord in prayer and humbly asked if I should get injected. I can say I was honestly ready to do so. In fact, I expected to be told to do so. But the Spirit said, "No, not right now." It wasn't as forceful as the first time, but it was still a solid no. 

Days later, I started feeling flu-ey. Today, after having survived a few days of mild flu symptoms (low-grade fever, muscle aches, overly sensitive skin, earache, stuffy/runny nose, and a cough), I have slightly stuffy sinuses and a bit of a chesty cough left to deal with. I am hoping that I will not have any long-term repercussions other than natural immunity, and I judge no one else for either choosing to get the injections or choosing not to. I also don't claim to know the reasons for the "no" answers and my own bout with Covid. I am not trying to prove anything here. I'm just trying to do what's right. 

I can go back to work next Tuesday. As this was the second week of school, it was definitely not a great time to have to quarantine as the administrative assistant, and my faculty have had to pick up a lot of my slack even if I'm trying to do as much as possible from home. Husband is allowed to continue working, but he has to wear an N95 mask until next Thursday, poor man. He's finding it hard to breathe, much less teach, in one of those. Little Gary had to quarantine with me until next Monday, when he can go back to school. Elannah works outside all day, away from anybody, so she didn't even bother telling her work that I tested positive. Joseph studies at home, so this hasn't had much of an impact on him.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this long blog post, I have some really good news: my oldest daughter, Siân, officially announced her pregnancy. She is now into the second trimester, but after having suffered a couple miscarriages, she and Nathan wanted to wait a bit before announcing the pregnancy this time. I am so excited to be a grandmother again! I am excited to see my little grandson be a big brother. I love babies!