Taken Down a Humbling Peg

A single lady in my ward called me, frantic, and through her sobs explained that her crappy car had broken down last night in the southerly end of The Big City--an hour's drive away. She had managed to get home, but now she had to get to work, and it was simply too hot to bike to work, and could I give her a ride?

Fortunately, I had access to a car, so I went and picked her up. She was still crying as she got into the car, and she complained about her car (understandably) and then wailed that she had to call the gas station where her car was stuck to explain that it wasn't abandoned and ask them to let her leave it there until her friend could tow it tomorrow.

This woman is thirty-seven years old and she couldn't make herself make a phone call, despite the necessity of it.

Now, I understand not loving the telephone. I really don't enjoy making phone calls, and having a son with severe anxiety has helped me see how hard it can be for people with Anxiety to sometimes do simple tasks, but I admit I rolled my eyes. Quietly. In my head.

Then a little voice whispered to me, "Stop it. You have someone who can help you out when things go wrong. You have someone on whom you can rely to share the burden, and he is competent, intelligent, and often saves you from having to do the hard things you don't like to do. This woman is facing this on her own, and for her it's a crisis. Be kind."

My heart immediately softened. I was suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude that I have my husband to share the burdens of life with me. This woman, though she would love to be married and have children, doesn't have that. Everything she does, she has to do on her own. She's not especially tough or resilient, but I know that she does do many things on her own that she finds difficult and nerve-wracking.

So I offered, without impatience, to call the gas station for her, and she was immediately relieved.

I am often an idiot, but at least I'm a redeemable and grateful idiot. That's my one saving grace.

The Best Place to Go for Earthquake Analysis

I love YouTube for the fact that you can still get real news from vigilant, journalistically-minded citizens, though the Vox Adpocalypse is wreaking havoc amongst the YouTubers who have a more  conservative mindset. Time to start switching to new vlogger platforms.

One of the best of the vloggers I track is a guy who calls himself "Dutchsinse." He's a genius when it comes to observing, explaining, and predicting earthquakes around the world. He's so good at what he does that he shows up the USGS (United States Geological Service) on a regular basis. They don't like him for that reason. Dutchsinse has even received death threats for telling the truth about how things really are (though I'm not claiming those threats came from the USGS).

There are some nerve-wracking earthquake events going on in California right now which will most likely translate into quakes moving into Oklahoma and onto the New Madrid fault line that splits the U.S. from St. Louis to Memphis.

A brief overview of the fault lines in the U.S.:



Here, Dutchsinse shows how and why the earthquakes are striking in California, and where the pressure on the plates is going to travel across the country and the world. I have friends in Southern California, and I worry about them.

It's a long video, but so chock-full of information you won't want to skip any of it.

Why I'll Never Join Another MLM: My Story

I admit I've been suckered into MLM rackets (multi-level marketing, or direct sales. Also called network marketing) more than once. It was because I wanted to be a better person, to make more money, to help my family, to help my friends. And every time, it was the same story: failure.

I figured it was my fault. I just didn't work hard enough. I wasn't willing to harass my "warm market" of family and friends to become my customers/downline. I didn't want people avoiding me because all I could talk about was selling them something. And I knew I had dollar signs in my eyes and others could see it. I can convince people to see things my way as long as I'm not going to financially benefit from convincing them, but put money into the equation and I can't do it without loathing myself, and others can see that.

When I was saving money for a mission back in 1992, I tried Herbalife. I was working five or six jobs (though only two or three at the same time), and I was glad that I didn't quit them because absolutely no one I knew wanted any of my product. Fortunately, I didn't sink that much money into it, so I didn't lose much. My recruiter seemed a little too desperate, but I was more naive back then. He was desperate because he was trying to recruit a downline so they would make money for him, as he was also struggling. I should have listened to my gut from the beginning.

And yet, over the years, I tried again and again. I tried Herbalife again with my husband back in the days before the internet (the only customer we ever had asked for a refund). I also did Tupperware (which is a good product, but so expensive! Also, it's such a good product that people don't need to constantly renew their storage containers, so the company has to come up with all these ridiculous new products to try and make new sales. Who needs a pickle holder??), Mary Kay (turns out I'm allergic, and their products aren't usually worth the price tag), Primerica (disaster), and Isagenix (my dad's health actually improves on this stuff it, but it's so expensive).

Then I swore off of MLMs. Never again, if for no other reason than to never have to go to those weekly team meetings and endure the hype and pressure.

I've resisted recruitment attempts from Paparazzi, Thrive, LipSense, and a multitude of health and supplement companies. I live in Utah, the Land of MLMs, so I'm proud of myself.

It's not always the products. The products can be really good, and sometimes it's worth it to sign up as a consultant just to get discounts for your own purchases and not try to make a living at it. But the business model is seriously flawed. Are they pyramid schemes? While I don't think they're technically pyramids, they come pretty close. And unless you're ruthless, driven, and don't care about how many people you push away in your efforts to sell to or recruit them, you're going to lose money, while those at the top, who got in right at the beginning, will make the big bucks. Best case scenario is you break even after pouring your heart and soul into your business. It's just not worth the grief.

I remember when I was in Primerica, which sells insurance and investments. My VPs were a very ambitious, driven couple. We were friends, and they were okay people, but there was something I didn't quite trust. I had been really struggling with sales because I hate sales, and I was privately trying to figure out how to ditch the whole mess even though I'd gone through the expense and stress of getting my securities license when one day, the guy (Mark? Steve? I can't remember his name) called me into his office after one of our weekly meetings and said, "I just got off the phone with [his Primerica friend] in California. I told him I have a real go-getter in my office who could beat any of his top sales people."

I was thinking, "Okay, that's great. But why are you telling me this?"

He continued. "You're that person, Eva. I know you could thrash any of his guys."

I remember just raising my eyebrows. I knew what he was trying to do, but it was obvious he didn't know me all that well if this was his way of motivating me. Unlike him, I do not thrive on competition. I literally do not care if I beat someone else. This is why I wasn't great at sports: not enough drive to excel, and I'm always applauding the opposing team when they make a great play.

I did not thrash any of his guys. Being manipulated to try and do so made me never want to sell anything ever again.

Husband and I--still not having learned our lesson--attended a meeting for a start-up MLM called Nouveau Riche, which promised a fortune in real estate buying and selling. It cost $16,000 to join, and it was a hard-sell meeting. None of the people attending the meeting were enthusiastic about spending that much on such a dubious undertaking. The presenters kept offering ideas: mortgaging your house, borrowing from family and friends, taking out a business loan. One lady said she made and sold harps. The presenters jumped on that. "All you have to do is sell one harp and you're in!" they exclaimed. The lady wasn't convinced at all. We left there and never heard about that business again. Funnily enough, the couple who invited us to that meeting (and who were going to join Nouveau Riche but never managed to scrape the money together, fortunately for them) later got involved with Isagenix. The wife lost 90 pounds using their products, which was why I was interested and later joined.

A couple years ago, I met this really nice lady at the swimming pool. We were both sitting on the benches while our kids swam, and she struck up a conversation. We had a lot in common, and I really liked talking to her. She gave me her number, and we actually met a couple times and talked about kids and life, but I noticed that she always had a brochure with product pictures and info with her. Then she started talking about it, and then I realized that she was trying to make me one of her warm market in order to get a new customer or recruit for her MLM business. So I stopped talking to her. That was hard to do, but I didn't want to get suckered into another losing proposition because I'm too nice and a people pleaser. Best to cut ties early.

These days, I'm surprised people are still signing on with these things. No one that I know wants to go to these parties. I never accept the invites myself. I mean, I feel for the consultants, as I've been there with no one at my party, but I don't want to encourage it. How much Pampered Chef stuff can a woman own? And it's expensive! Plus, if I show up or buy anything--even online--I'm going to get pestered about becoming a consultant, and some of those woman really are competitive and don't easily take no for an answer. I'm a little MLM shellshocked, and I don't want to put myself in that position anymore.

The reason I thought of this was because I've noticed more anti-MLM videos on YouTube. I was listening to some of them while I painted Little Gary's bedroom yesterday (pictures to follow in another post!), and they made me laugh. I also felt sad for the women (and men) whose financial lives have been ruined because of companies like LuLaRoe or because they believed that if they only tried a little harder, they'd be living the dream. I've been to the meetings with the loud music and the winners prancing onto the stage and talking about how their lives have changed and how yours can, too, if you just try and little harder, work a little smarter. I'm tired of the hype and the promise that never comes to fruition while you look at yourself and wonder why you're such a failure. It's all a big scam. I'm glad I learned the lessons I did when it was less expensive to do so.