Renewed Motivation

I hate photos of myself. Sure, when I was a young, fit thing I didn't mind the photos so much; but as a middle-aged woman who is fighting the weight battle, photos of myself make me feel ill. These are no exception.

However, I needed some renewed motivation. I've lost nearly 40 pounds since the middle of March, 2018, and I'm thrilled with that. I honestly can't believe I've managed to lose this much! I have my health coach to thank, because without her dedication and selfless interest in my success, I would never have started losing weight in the first place. Instead, I would still be lamenting my fatness but failing to do anything about it.

The problem with summer, though, is that my schedule is completely open. Both Husband and I have the summers off because we work for the school district (and I still haven't gotten around to finding another writing job), so with family visiting from the U.K., a short vacation to Southern Utah (because when it's hot, why not go somewhere even hotter?), and all the staying up late and sleeping in late I've been doing, I've been way too tempted with foods I shouldn't be eating. I'm stalled at the moment--losing and gaining the same two pounds for the last several weeks. I thought a comparison photo would be a good way to see the progress I've made while also facing how much weight I still have to lose.

It's working. I do feel motivated to renew my efforts. Plus, I'm not wearing that blue shirt again until I've reached my goal. Spandex/rayon blends are unforgiving.

On the left: at Sian's wedding last August.
On the right: today.

Why Grammar and Punctuation Matter

It's not a scintillating title, unless it's read by someone like me: fascinated with the art and science of written communication.

This is me:

• I spent the majority of my time in grade school finishing my regular work as quickly as possible so I could get to what I really loved doing: reading and writing plays and stories.
• I took the grammar and composition course in high school FOR FUN! 
• I resurrected the literary magazine because I was sure my fellow students were as obsessed as I was with wanting to write beautiful prose. 
• I aced my honors creative writing course in college, and I especially loved it because there were only eight students in the class and I, therefore, got more attention from the instructor. 

For me, powerful written communication must include correct punctuation and grammar. It's the only way to clearly say what you want to say. It's your job as the writer to craft words into sentences that clearly and accurately convey your ideas. Grammar is the method by which you string words together coherently to make sentences and paragraphs. Punctuation gives the readers clues as to your true meaning. Failing to utilize even the most rudimentary grammar and punctuation skills means you expect your reader to somehow glean your meaning through a form of telepathy. It's a risky business; most of the people I know, including myself, are terrible telepaths.

I would never critique anyone's grammar or punctuation in a casual email, text, or social media post. But the sloppiness becomes an issue when the mistakes are repeated over and over and morph into bad habits. When I was on Facebook, I noticed punctuation trends sweeping across the digital landscape. For instance, I watched with horror as people quickly became convinced that apostrophes are to be used to make words plural. Now I see it everywhere in real life, and it makes me shudder every time. And don't get me started on the horrific (but often unintentionally hilarious) misuse of quotation marks. Or the way more and more people slap a comma into a sentence when they feel it's where the reader would take a breath to emphasize the next few words. That's not how commas were raised.

I have a friend who is a successful businessman. He's smart, savvy, and a good guy. One day, he proudly posted an image of his new business cards on a social media account. I immediately noticed a common spelling error and privately messaged him about it, concerned that his reputation for excellence would suffer from such an obvious mistake. He messaged me back and told me that he'd ordered a gazillion cards and didn't want to order new ones. He said the error would be our little secret. I didn't say anything about it after that--it's his business, after all--but I guarantee it won't be our little secret. Someone is going to notice, and they won't be impressed, and he might lose business because of it. I know I regularly quit reading articles by professionals when I realize they couldn't be bothered to re-read their text or get an editor to do it for them. It just tells me the author is sloppy and doesn't pay attention to details. Why should I listen to someone who is supposed to be imparting valuable information but can't be bothered to make sure they're doing it as clearly as possible? If a 500-word article is so poorly written, I would never buy one of their books or subscribe to one of their newsletters. Sloppy professional writing makes me crazy: I can't stop mentally editing, and then I completely miss the point they're trying (poorly) to make.

I think that the joy of cleaning up poor writing and allowing the author to express his/her ideas in the clearest, most coherent way possible is why I love to be an editor. There's a real thrill in helping someone communicate valuable information in the best way possible. I'm a total nerd that way. But I also understand how hard it is to write. How many of my blog drafts sit, languishing in their digital limbo, because I became disgusted with my lack of ability to write the way I want to? Answer: most of them. Even now I'm tempted to erase this entire post. It's like an itch you can't quite ignore.

So why do grammar and punctuation matter? They matter because the written word is one of the most powerful ways through which we communicate with other human beings. These rules aren't arbitrary, even if they change a little over time, and they are tools in making that communication as clear and understandable as possible. They aren't difficult to learn, but I suppose that if fewer and fewer people know them, it won't matter so much if they're used at all. But then we regress in our ability to communicate. That's what makes me sad.

A note: I do want to point out that different people write differently. Husband was reading this over, and he mentioned several places where he would have created two sentences out of one or added slightly different punctuation. He would have been correct in how he changed it, as well. I acknowledge that there are different styles of writing. But you have to know the rules before you can play with them, as any good cook or actor or athlete knows.

I'M A GRANDMOTHER!

Hello. I'm a grandmother.

I'm a GRANDMOTHER!

I'm a grandmother a couple months earlier than we all expected.

Sian developed preeclampsia and was hospitalized for a couple days because her blood pressure started shooting up so high. When medication and magnesium sulfate didn't bring it down, the doctors decided to take the baby via C-section.

I was a little too late to the hospital to see Sian before she went into surgery. I had spent most of the previous day at the hospital, but the doctors and nurses were so certain that Sian would be able to keep the baby inside for a few more days that I didn't stay overnight at their apartment. I really like sleeping in my own bed, and their apartment didn't have air conditioning and was 95 degrees F. Tell me how you can sleep while you're sweating out your weight in fluid.

(Husband has since rigged up a frame in which he set a window air conditioner, which was difficult because he couldn't put any nails or screws into the sill and because he had to work around a tall metal slider rail in the second-story window. But he did it. It took him 12 hours of building, traveling, and fixing, but he got it done, and now the kids have some air conditioning. I'm not sure how they survived that apartment up to this point!)

Nathan called me early the next morning, and I could tell he was tense, even though he always keeps himself calm and measured. I hopped right into the car and started driving, but he called again to ask where I was when I was still 20 minutes out and stuck in traffic, and this time I could tell he was about to explode with anxiety.

By the time I got to the hospital, Sian had already been wheeled into the surgery, and I was told to wait in Sian's room. About 15 minutes later, she was wheeled back in on her bed, and I spent a while helping her come to grips with the fact that she was no longer pregnant and that she is a mom and has delivered her first child. She also had the shakes, which is totally normal after childbirth, so the nurse and I got her all wrapped up in warm blankets and I stroked her head and told her how proud of her I was. Nathan went with the baby to the NICU to make sure everything was okay there before coming back to make sure his wife was recovering.

The good news is that both mom and baby are going well. While Sian's blood pressure continued to spike dangerously high even after the delivery, it has since started to come down. It's still really high for her, but they're thinking of discharging her tomorrow because it seems to be on a downward trend.

My new grandson, Tyler, is so tiny. He was only three pounds and 15 inches long, propped up in his little box in the NICU. When I saw him, he had a breathing tube down his throat, along with a bunch of other feeds and wires stuck to his wee little torso, arms, and legs. But for such a peanut of a kid, he's got some seriously long fingers and toes! I told Sian and Nathan that they need to get him piano lessons as soon as he can sit up on his own. You can't let fingers like that go to waste!

The breathing tube has since been removed, and Tyler is breathing fine on his own. His nurse is feeding him breastmilk through his feeding tube (Sian has been extracting), so he's getting excellent nutrition. While he has developed a bit of jaundice and is on antibiotics for inflammation or infection, neither of these things is abnormal for a preemie. He'll probably be home in about eight weeks.

What's absolutely lovely is that he wiggles and responds when he hears Sian's or Nathan's voices. He knows his parents.

I reassured Sian that in 15 years, Tyler will be eating her out of house and home and will probably be taller than his dad. No one will be able to tell he was so eager to be born that he came a couple months early. For now, she's very lucky to have such an attentive, caring husband. He adores her, and he's obviously fallen in love with his tiny little son. Plus, she has parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and cousins, grandparents, and a great-grandmother who are all praying for her and Tyler.

I'm a grandma! It's a pretty sweet feeling.

Pageant Winner in the House!

After a very exciting pageant, Sophia was crowned the new queen of our city. She's the one in the lovely green dress, below, flanked by her two sweet and talented attendants.

I suspect Sophia competed mostly for the sparkly crown. Well, and the $2000 scholarship and the other great prizes. But mostly the sparkly crown. Like her mom, she's kind of drawn to sparkly things.

To get that scholarship check, though, she has to show up to a number of events throughout the year, culminating in crowning a new queen next July. What's funny is that one of Sophia's very good friends won the crown last year. She is a year older than Sophia, and Sophia has been following her in theater since they were both in elementary school. Fortunately, they were never jealous of each other, even as they auditioned for many of the same roles. We have a picture of them together from when Sophia was in sixth grade (about age 12) and Kat was in seventh grade; Sophia played Sleeping Beauty the younger, and Kat played Sleeping Beauty the elder in the same play that year.

Tonight was the first night the three girls started their official duties as the new city royalty, with a car show, BBQ, and karaoke contest in the city park. They didn't have to wear formal gowns this evening (phew!), but they do have to have some security with them at all times, which is sad. Sophia came home and reported that many of the men at the park kept asking how old they were, and when they were serving up hamburgers and hot dogs, they were asked if kisses were also on the menu. Now I'm not so thrilled about her being royalty. It didn't occur to me that having a crown on your head made you such a target for dirty old men, and it was a good thing her dad wasn't there.

Becoming royalty in our burg is small potatoes compared to winning at state, national, or international pageants, but I'm proud of Sophia for the effort she put in. She worked really hard on choreographing and perfecting her dance for the talent competition, and she practiced for the interviews, as well. She was fortunate to know some people who were familiar with pageants and helped her prepare, and I think that made a huge difference in how she presented herself. Also, that dress! It was a show-stopper. No one else wore a green dress, and that particular shade of green in that iridescent silk is my absolute favorite color in the world. I had many people stopping me for days to ask about that dress.

Sophia has no plans to compete in further pageants. She's satisfied with this win, and she has other things she wants to do. For now, though, she'll really enjoy the duties that come with being pageant royalty, and she'll very much enjoy getting that check next year.