This young lady, who was 24 when she deliberately overdosed, is the daughter of one of the couples in our choir. While I didn't know her personally, I know her incredible parents and one of her sisters. Her parents and several of her siblings stood at the podium and talked about her brilliant mind and creative ability. Though she battled demons, she loved her family and her friends fiercely. Friends and family were reassured that nothing they said or failed to say would have changed the outcome; but despite the grief expressed, the overall feeling in the room--though there were plenty of tears--was one of hope and faith.
We sang Mack Wilberg's beautiful arrangement of "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need." Below, you can hear the song as performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, along with the lyrics.
My favorite lyrics in this song speak of the Lord's heavenly home, where it says, "There would I find a settled rest while others go and come; no more a stranger, nor a guest, but like a child at home."
We've sung at several funerals this year--mostly for choir members' parents, who have lived good, long lives--but it's really hard to sing for young people's funerals. As a parent, I just can't imagine the feeling of losing one of my children. To sing in that situation, I have to keep my thoughts very light and distracted. When the tears well up, I imagine someone sitting on a cactus, which helps for some reason. Otherwise, my throat closes up and I make these gulping, croaking sort of noises, which sounds awful during performances.
After we're done singing, we can let the tears flow, of course. I snagged a box of tissues before the funeral started, so I was ready for the emotion.
This beautiful young woman is not lost. As her parents said, she died of complications of mental illness, just as some die of complications of heart disease or cancer. Though she went through a great deal of pain in this world, Jesus Christ descended below all of it to satisfy the demands of justice.
How grateful I am for the Savior's atonement. How grateful I am.
2 comments:
Suicide is a part of my every day (at least the days I go to work). I have talked countless people out of committing suicide, and have been the last voice that far too many people have ever heard.
Most often, people just want me to know where to find their remains - or to make sure the police find their remains before their family gets home. Yet still, in too many instances I have heard the gunshot, listened to the slurred voice succumb to the lethal overdose, and have even fallen WITH someone who has jumped from the roof of his apartment building (but forgot to hang up before he jumped).
Each time, I myself die a little bit inside.
Sorry you had to deal with this - directly, or indirectly. It is (tragically) an avoidable tragedy.
FoF, I honestly do not know how you hang onto your sanity doing the job that you do as a 911 operator. I am so grateful you have faith in God, and I imagine it's what gives you so much strength and comfort during those horrifying moments and their emotional aftermath. God bless you for being there when people need you the most.
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