I obviously write a lot about myself on this blog because it's my blog. I also write mostly about myself because my family have made it clear that they don't necessarily enjoy being written about, and I also don't want to breach any friends' privacy, either. Therefore, when I mention any of them, I keep it fairly neutral. If they want to share their opinions of things or write about interesting personal experiences, I guess they can do that for themselves.
Until then, you've got me. All me, all the time.
Ain't it grand?
And why aren't there any fonts specifically for sarcasm or laughing at oneself?
Facebook is not a good forum for spouting opinions. I don't mind if people disagree with me, but I am very, very tired of it all in general. There seems to be this trend toward loudly disagreeing with anyone whose opinion is different than your own, as if you are somehow not being true to yourself if you don't make your voice heard. And why would I particularly care about making my voice heard if all I am doing is stirring up strife? Who would I convert to my view? How is that making the world a better place? Am I a better person because I become offended by someone's opinion--as stupid and uninformed as I think it may be--and seek balm for my troubled soul by responding in the heat of anger or even just startled incredulity?
I've quit sharing my opinion on anything controversial in social media spaces like Facebook. I don't think it's a cop-out, since I don't think there is any honorable reason to share my opinion at all unless someone asks for it and sincerely wants to know it. If it saves me or someone else a bit of stress or anger to still my fingers on the keyboard, then I'm keeping my mouth, as it were, shut.
There is a reason one of my English teachers in high school stopped me outside the classroom one day and asked me, "When am I going to see you more involved in the discussions in our class?" Flustered, I answered too quickly, "When everyone stops arguing." He was taken aback. "We don't argue!" I didn't argue.
What I really have a hard time with is that my brain doesn't work when my mouth is talking. Debate Club was the stuff of my nightmares. I never would have joined, even if you paid me. I don't think fast or strategically when my adrenalin is up or when I feel completely out of my depth. In an argument, I rarely feel in my depth. No matter how much I may know about the topic at hand, I will forget all of it in a stressful debating situation. Then I stand there, gawping like a fish, unable to make any good points and numbly watching the triumph grow on the other person's face. Besides, as a debate coward, I find that people with quicker wits usually put forth my argument for me if I wait long enough. That's what I didn't tell my teacher in the hallway, though I thought about it afterward: I'm thinking and listening the whole time, but when I come up with a point, I let others make it (which they almost inevitably did) and then quietly ponder the response for validity. The pondering and reasoning part breaks down the moment I open my own mouth, and my mind goes totally blank in the bargain.
To be fair, it was high school, which was not a time of supreme self-confidence, but I haven't changed much in other ways over the last couple decades. I still don't go looking for arguments. I prefer to read or hear others' opinions that I heartily disagree with quietly and ponderingly and then quietly accept or reject their position. If someone honestly wants to know what I think, I'll share. If someone is looking for a fight, I'll back away. Unless the result of the argument would be harm to myself or my loved ones, it just isn't worth it (though I have to say that I have stood my ground when it counted and actually cowed the other person into submission, but that was because I felt my children were in danger and suddenly there was no hesitation or fear in any part of my body. There was only authority and confidence. Nice to know I do have it in me, right?). That sort of thinking did make me a good telemarketer in the sense that I would listen sympathetically to the customer's complaint and then do all I could to restate their position and see what I could do. I can't count how many customers calmed down when they knew I was listening and trying to help. Many of them thanked me profusely at the end of our conversations, even those who started out yelling at me.
I still hated being a telemarketer. Ugh.
I'm rambling here. Thinking out loud. Feel free to click away, as this may go on a while. I totally understand. But you're probably a lot like me, too--at least, if you've read this far.
So I see no dishonor in refraining from sharing my opinion on Facebook. I also don't see any honor in sharing my opinion here. I have opinions, definitely, and some of them I'm dying to share, and that's what this blog does for me every once in a while. It relieves that pressure when it becomes unbearable. No one has ever argued with me here, and I'm fine with that.
1 comment:
Perfect. This is exactly how I feel. I've come to a point where I post very few things on Facebook. I enjoy reading what others post, especially articles and such that I feel I can learn from, but I rarely comment on them. I'd rather contemplate and decide how I feel about it for myself than argue about it with anyone.
Sometimes, if I agree with something I will re-post it, but not to prove a point to anyone so much as to share something that is important to me with people who are important to me. I'm not asking them to agree with it, just giving them an opportunity to learn more about who I am. In the cases where I do feel a need to make a point I turn to my blog, which is private and only allows for a very close circle of people to read it. These people already know how I feel about things in general and can take my venting with a grain of salt (if they actually ever read it).
I appreciate the opinions you share here. I like researching some of the things you write about and deciding for myself how I feel about them. Often we feel the same and it's a comforting thing to find someone with whom you have much in common. I also enjoy your whit. You make me smile on days when I just don't feel like it, so don't feel like your words lack worth. They don't. :-)
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