I realize that this is not a recap of our trip to England. I had great plans for getting all those photos and videos organized and presented. I have everything on a thumb drive now because I was worried about losing all my photos and videos when I changed phones recently, so that's Step One done. I just need to complete all the other steps.
It's a been a minute, yes. The days fly by somehow, and here it is halfway through October.
I performed at my first recital in August. I did not know what to expect, never having had a piano recital before, so I was all nerves. My teacher put me just about last on the program, just before he performed a movement of the concerto he has composed (which is amazing and which won second place in all of Utah for a composition competition!); but being second-to-last helped me calm down a little bit as the program progressed. Most of the students were young, of course, with only one other male student about my age, and none of us was perfect.
I started with Prelude in D Major by Chad Lawson, and I used that to help me warm up to my main piece, which was Chopin's Etude, Opus 10: No. 3 (Tristesse). Like many of Chopin's works, the etude starts out innocently enough and then BLAMMO! in the middle section, only to go back and reprise the original theme at the end.
I was nervous enough about playing that I didn't want to add to my nerves by inviting anyone to the recital, so I had no additional family members or friends there. I did test myself by making one of my faculties listen to me perform for them during lunch, and they were very supportive and encouraging, of course, even though I made mistakes.
Husband almost didn't come, either. He was very unwell that day, but he insisted on coming to support me, bless him, even though I told him he should stay home and rest. He tried to take a video of my performance, but by that point in the program, he was so unwell that he only recorded part of the first piece. We left very quickly as soon as the recital concluded, and he was able to see the doctor an hour or so later and get the medication he needed (he had run out of his blood pressure medication a couple weeks prior and had put off seeing the doctor to get a refill). He is fine now, but he didn't feel normal for a few days after that until the medication started kicking in to its fullest extent. He won't make that mistake again! It was frightening for both of us.
Having thankfully survived my first recital, I am now preparing my next piece, which is Rachmaninoff's Études-Tableaux, Op 33: No 7 in G Minor (Moderato), and playing with Chopin's Premiere Ballade No. 1 in G Minor, Op 23. I say "playing with" because it will take me forever to get anywhere in the vicinity of mastering that piece. Again, the first part is very reasonable before Chopin goes beautifully nuts for pages and pages. I can play it all now, but only very slowly. Same with the Rachmaninoff, though Rachmaninoff's crazy middle section is of significantly shorter duration.
Later...
Today had been rough for me, emotionally speaking. Sundays frequently are, because those are the days I am most likely to focus on my failings as a person and a leader. I am still the president of the Young Women organization in my congregation. I love those girls, but as a group--and they are a small group--they are frustrating. The older ones are not well-versed in the art of conversational manners, and they are hard to get to know. The younger ones are much more responsive, and I am developing friendships with them, but the older girls are hard to reach. I am often discouraged that I have such a hard time getting the older ones to open up and talk. I am also frequently discouraged because I will put so much time and preparation into the weekly activities--activities they requested!--and will have only one or two girls show up.
We had a stake Young Women Standards Night meeting this evening, so I went and was sitting near the front in the pews. A man sat down beside me, and I looked over and saw it was a man I know, the father of a couple of the seminary students. We greeted each other, and he said, "Do you get the same kind of glory as the seminary teachers?"
I thought he was asking if I understood how great the seminary teachers are, which I do. I love working with each and every one of them, and they all have different, yet effective, teaching styles. That wasn't what he meant, however. He corrected himself and said, "No, I mean do you hear from the seminary kids how much they care about you?"
He went on to explain that his son, who just last week entered the Mexico Missionary Training Center before he travels to his mission in Peru, had mentioned me by name. He had often come and had a chat with me at the seminary during one of his free hours, and I guess that meant enough to him that he mentioned it to his parents.
That obviously made me feel a little better. That group of kids who just graduated was the first group I saw all the way from freshmen to seniors, and I had developed a good relationship with about a dozen of them. Those boys and girls would frequently come and talk to me before class or during their free hours, and I very much enjoyed watching them grow and mature. Most of them are now serving missions, and they each came and told me where they had been called to serve so I could celebrate with them, or they shared their post-high school plans with me. That group of kids will always have a special place in my heart.
What that man shared made me feel a little less discouraged today, which is a blessing, and I am grateful. I have a very hard time seeing my strengths, and it is easy for me to get discouraged over my faults and weaknesses, which are many and varied. I went home feeling a lot better than when I arrived. I'll just keep plodding along with my young women. Maybe I will have a lasting impression on them and maybe not, but I always try to make them understand that I am happy to see them and that I am interested in their lives.
