I thought this was hilarious, so I'm sharing it with you today.
This is about me. Me, a literary husband, six busy kids, one and a half excitable dogs, and three cats who own us all.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Seat 16 But Break Your Back
Hello, friends! I'm baaaack!
Now that you've breathed that sigh of relief (ha ha), get a mug of your hot beverage of choice and sit back to read the fascinating adventures I've been through in the last little while.
We've set up the house now with electricity, water, sewage, garbage pick-up, gas, etc., etc. of course, and should even be getting our mail delivered to our mailbox that I had to repeatedly assure the nice post office lady IS INDEED still out front of the house (I even put our name in sticky letters over the previous owner's name. I got quite a thrill out of that.).
Little Gary has found and locked himself into the two bedrooms that had key-lock entries, prompting two seperate calls to the same locksmith because the previous owners (from now on to be referred to as "the PO"), when consulted, admitted that the keys had been lost years ago. Sure, I tried to credit card the locks as well as explain to a two-year-old how to turn the little button in the doorknob that would release him from his prison -- and before you ask, the hinges were on the side of the door containing said two-year-old -- but only a locksmith could get him out in the end. We (me and the locksmith) are now best friends. He was a little disappointed that we fixed all the key-lock doorknobs after that and he won't be making more money off that particular problem, but he was a lovely, grandfatherly type with gray hair and a gray beard who told me funny stories about his own children.
One toilet has been blocked up and I bought the inaugural plunger to fix the problem (it got fixed); my friend, Shanna, lent us a microwave until I can buy the under-cabinet microwave I want (THANK YOU, SHANNA!); and we had an interesting design and decorating issue with a table we bought from the school district auction. It's one of those school lunch tables that fold up in the middle. This one has 16 blue stools for seats, which we thought would be great because not only will it seat our family and extended family, but we could fold it up and store it against the wall when not in use. Let me just share a picture of it with you.
Also, let me assure you that it weighed upward of a gazillion tons (I know because Husband and I had to unfold it, tip it on its side, and LIFT it to get it into the house), and while I may be a strong and sturdy woman, I simply could not open and close that behemoth by myself. Plus, as you'll notice, it pretty much takes over the whole main floor and changes the dynamic of the serene and comfortable decorating style I hope to implement. It was a great idea, though. It's a great idea we have up for sale at the moment. (Another quick thank-you to Shanna for the use of her truck to pick it up from the warehouse.)If we had a patio instead of a deck, we'd use it outside for family functions.
On a side note, some guy is trying to scam me out of the table. Even I, a trusting girl, can see that.
Stupid idiot.
Him, I mean.
Not me.
This neighborhood is full of children. They run about like little ants as soon as school is out, all over the place. My kids, coming from a neighborhood much more elderly and sedate, are not yet used to the idea that they can run around outside and play all evening (after homework, of course). It will take them a while to adjust. Little Gary is loving the fully fenced and grassy back-yard, meanwhile. That kid would live outside like a cute infant wild animal if I let him.
Many of the neighbors have stopped by to welcome us. Our next-door neighbor brought us a big bag of her home-grown tomatoes that were perfect and sweet and amazing and which were completely and utterly eaten. I'm trying to compose a thank-you note that doesn't sound like a desperate plea for more.
I'll have pictures next time. I have to remember to buy batteries yet again for our camera, but then I will give you a photo tour of the entire house. Just keep in mind that I haven't painted yet. We also have many fewer possessions than previously (woo-hoo!). Things are a little sparse at the moment, which is a very good thing.
Now that you've breathed that sigh of relief (ha ha), get a mug of your hot beverage of choice and sit back to read the fascinating adventures I've been through in the last little while.
We've set up the house now with electricity, water, sewage, garbage pick-up, gas, etc., etc. of course, and should even be getting our mail delivered to our mailbox that I had to repeatedly assure the nice post office lady IS INDEED still out front of the house (I even put our name in sticky letters over the previous owner's name. I got quite a thrill out of that.).
Little Gary has found and locked himself into the two bedrooms that had key-lock entries, prompting two seperate calls to the same locksmith because the previous owners (from now on to be referred to as "the PO"), when consulted, admitted that the keys had been lost years ago. Sure, I tried to credit card the locks as well as explain to a two-year-old how to turn the little button in the doorknob that would release him from his prison -- and before you ask, the hinges were on the side of the door containing said two-year-old -- but only a locksmith could get him out in the end. We (me and the locksmith) are now best friends. He was a little disappointed that we fixed all the key-lock doorknobs after that and he won't be making more money off that particular problem, but he was a lovely, grandfatherly type with gray hair and a gray beard who told me funny stories about his own children.
One toilet has been blocked up and I bought the inaugural plunger to fix the problem (it got fixed); my friend, Shanna, lent us a microwave until I can buy the under-cabinet microwave I want (THANK YOU, SHANNA!); and we had an interesting design and decorating issue with a table we bought from the school district auction. It's one of those school lunch tables that fold up in the middle. This one has 16 blue stools for seats, which we thought would be great because not only will it seat our family and extended family, but we could fold it up and store it against the wall when not in use. Let me just share a picture of it with you.
Also, let me assure you that it weighed upward of a gazillion tons (I know because Husband and I had to unfold it, tip it on its side, and LIFT it to get it into the house), and while I may be a strong and sturdy woman, I simply could not open and close that behemoth by myself. Plus, as you'll notice, it pretty much takes over the whole main floor and changes the dynamic of the serene and comfortable decorating style I hope to implement. It was a great idea, though. It's a great idea we have up for sale at the moment. (Another quick thank-you to Shanna for the use of her truck to pick it up from the warehouse.)If we had a patio instead of a deck, we'd use it outside for family functions.
On a side note, some guy is trying to scam me out of the table. Even I, a trusting girl, can see that.
Stupid idiot.
Him, I mean.
Not me.
This neighborhood is full of children. They run about like little ants as soon as school is out, all over the place. My kids, coming from a neighborhood much more elderly and sedate, are not yet used to the idea that they can run around outside and play all evening (after homework, of course). It will take them a while to adjust. Little Gary is loving the fully fenced and grassy back-yard, meanwhile. That kid would live outside like a cute infant wild animal if I let him.
Many of the neighbors have stopped by to welcome us. Our next-door neighbor brought us a big bag of her home-grown tomatoes that were perfect and sweet and amazing and which were completely and utterly eaten. I'm trying to compose a thank-you note that doesn't sound like a desperate plea for more.
I'll have pictures next time. I have to remember to buy batteries yet again for our camera, but then I will give you a photo tour of the entire house. Just keep in mind that I haven't painted yet. We also have many fewer possessions than previously (woo-hoo!). Things are a little sparse at the moment, which is a very good thing.
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