Here is a picture from our local Walmart that I asked Husband to take during a milk run. The lack of punctuation speaks for itself.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Why I'm Not Funny
I have a sense of humor. Honestly, I do. I realize that I show it on Facebook and leave the heavy, boring, dismal stuff for this blog. It's easier to be amusing in short sentences, since writing hilarious paragraphs is difficult for me. Just so you know.
Here is a picture from our local Walmart that I asked Husband to take during a milk run. The lack of punctuation speaks for itself.
Here is a picture from our local Walmart that I asked Husband to take during a milk run. The lack of punctuation speaks for itself.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
A Rant Against People Who Don't Actually Know What Censorship Is
Our local NBC affiliate decided to drop the show Hannibal after many of their viewers emailed them to complain about the show's violent and graphic nature. It was interesting to read some of the reactions to their decision. While many applauded the station, many more were angry and upset. Their arguments generally ran along these lines: "Stupid Mormons!" "That's censorship!" "If you don't like a show, just don't watch it, but don't ruin it for the rest of us!" "Your kids should be in bed anyway by the time the show airs. What kind of horrible parents are you that your kids are watching TV at 9pm?" There were also some comments that are simply unfit to repeat.
As a parent of children, I have long since become so disgusted with regular network programming that we have let it disappear from our lives. I only like PBS stations, but as I never contribute to their fundraising drives, it's just as well I don't watch their network programming anymore. We pick and choose what we watch through subscription online streaming where there are no commercials and where we can exhibit some control. It's certainly cheaper than cable, and you're not paying for dozens of stations you never watch anyway.
Not only is the quality of so very many network shows abysmal -- pandering to the lowest common denominator of humor and wit, or just an endless lineup of cheap "reality" television -- but I am sick of the commercials. As one parent pointed out, even if she didn't watch Hannibal, and she certainly didn't allow her children to watch, she didn't have any control over the promotional spots for the program. The 30-second spots were so disturbing that she had to change the channel whenever they popped up unexpectedly.
Should the station have let the show go? I don't care one way or the other, and the reason is this: it's a privately owned station and they can do what they want. If they want to make a profit, they have to follow the market forces. Obviously, more people complained about the show than showed gratitude and support for it, and that influenced their decision. The station repeatedly stated that it was a decision that wasn't made lightly. The moral of the story is that if you like something, you better tell the product maker or store owner or television station what you like and why so that it's more likely to stay around. If you don't like something enough to make a fuss about it, do it. You are being listened to.
As for the people who complained about self-righteous Mormons ruining their fun and forcing censorship on their victimized heads, well, you should have said something to the station, I guess. You don't have to be LDS to have morals and wish that entertainment hadn't descended to the crap that most of it has become. And you can find whatever you want anyway, if you look hard enough. Hannibal moved to the CW, so no one is censoring you; just change the channel. What happened isn't censorship, anyway. If they took away the show and then threatened you with harm if you spoke up about it, and especially if they had the force of the federal government's guns and weapons to back them up, that would be censorship. What happened with Hannibal isn't censorship.What happened was a market-driven decision.
And as a philosophical question, is there a reason that we must fill our lives with increasingly more horrifying and nasty depictions of the darkest side of human nature? For what purpose, exactly? To bask in the fact that no one is pushing any sort of morality at you, which might be misconstrued as (shudder) religion? I don't really expect an answer to that. I can't think of any reason why it's a good choice.
What is happening in the military to those who have Christian faith, now THAT is censorship. A stupid television show being moved to a different channel just means you have to reprogram your DVR.
As a parent of children, I have long since become so disgusted with regular network programming that we have let it disappear from our lives. I only like PBS stations, but as I never contribute to their fundraising drives, it's just as well I don't watch their network programming anymore. We pick and choose what we watch through subscription online streaming where there are no commercials and where we can exhibit some control. It's certainly cheaper than cable, and you're not paying for dozens of stations you never watch anyway.
Not only is the quality of so very many network shows abysmal -- pandering to the lowest common denominator of humor and wit, or just an endless lineup of cheap "reality" television -- but I am sick of the commercials. As one parent pointed out, even if she didn't watch Hannibal, and she certainly didn't allow her children to watch, she didn't have any control over the promotional spots for the program. The 30-second spots were so disturbing that she had to change the channel whenever they popped up unexpectedly.
Should the station have let the show go? I don't care one way or the other, and the reason is this: it's a privately owned station and they can do what they want. If they want to make a profit, they have to follow the market forces. Obviously, more people complained about the show than showed gratitude and support for it, and that influenced their decision. The station repeatedly stated that it was a decision that wasn't made lightly. The moral of the story is that if you like something, you better tell the product maker or store owner or television station what you like and why so that it's more likely to stay around. If you don't like something enough to make a fuss about it, do it. You are being listened to.
As for the people who complained about self-righteous Mormons ruining their fun and forcing censorship on their victimized heads, well, you should have said something to the station, I guess. You don't have to be LDS to have morals and wish that entertainment hadn't descended to the crap that most of it has become. And you can find whatever you want anyway, if you look hard enough. Hannibal moved to the CW, so no one is censoring you; just change the channel. What happened isn't censorship, anyway. If they took away the show and then threatened you with harm if you spoke up about it, and especially if they had the force of the federal government's guns and weapons to back them up, that would be censorship. What happened with Hannibal isn't censorship.What happened was a market-driven decision.
And as a philosophical question, is there a reason that we must fill our lives with increasingly more horrifying and nasty depictions of the darkest side of human nature? For what purpose, exactly? To bask in the fact that no one is pushing any sort of morality at you, which might be misconstrued as (shudder) religion? I don't really expect an answer to that. I can't think of any reason why it's a good choice.
What is happening in the military to those who have Christian faith, now THAT is censorship. A stupid television show being moved to a different channel just means you have to reprogram your DVR.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Just So We're Clear: I Cannot In Any Way Recommend HCG or the HCG Diet. Ever. Period.
One of my friends called me up a couple days ago and asked my opinion on the HCG diet. She and her husband had been considering it because nothing else they were doing was working. I started laughing out loud. She and her husband, who regularly participate in Insanity or P-90X workouts that would knock me on my butt within two minutes, are anything but fat. They're not even a little bit chubby. But she asked me my opinion of HCG and not whether I thought she needed to lose weight, so I answered her question.
(I think I've written about my revised opinion of HCG on here, but I can't be bothered to check, so I might be repeating myself. Bear with.)
In short, the HCG diet is designed to kill a person. That's the honest truth. It's completely unsustainable, for one thing, because you are consuming only 500 calories a day. 500 calories is not enough for your body to live on, and because of that, your body will desperately fill your head with visions of sugarplums just to get you to quit starving it and eat something. Starvation does a number of terrible things to your metabolism and your internal organs. Starve long enough and there's a good chance that you won't be able to reverse the damage.
Because you're starving yourself, your body begins shutting down non-vital processes in order to conserve resources. You're also forcing your metabolism to slow down to a snail's pace. So while you're proud of yourself for sticking with your 500 calories a day and your dose of HCG, your body is cannibalizing your muscle tissue for energy, which is exactly the opposite of what you want. Muscle burns more calories than fat tissue, so building muscle is vital in a weight loss plan, but it's extremely difficult to exercise and build muscle when you feel like you are going to faint at any moment.
When you start eating like a normal person again, your body is relieved that you have enough food and is determined not to starve any more, so it packs on the increased energy resources as fat against future starvation. For 99% of people, you'll gain back more weight than you took off, but it will be fat tissue and not muscle tissue. You've just made future weight loss that much more difficult for yourself because now you're more jiggly-puff AND you've damaged your metabolism.
Meanwhile, you're probably wrecking some really vital internal organs. Since you need your liver and kidneys to function well, and because it's nice to have a gall bladder in good condition, quit the HCG immediately.
I've done a lot of research since my own experience with HCG. I admit I was desperate when I spent a lot of hard-earned dollars on this wonderful miracle drug that promised so much, and I did lose 12 pounds before I gave in to my need to eat enough to sustain me. Actually, what really stopped me during that second round of HCG was a strong spiritual witness that I was hurting myself needlessly and uselessly. I quit at that moment.
There are probably other health issues you are not addressing if you've been steadily gaining weight without changing your diet or exercise patterns. This is a toxic world, and I think a vast majority of us are in need of cleansing. We have parasites sucking the nutrients from our food and flooding us with toxic chemicals, we eat refined flours and sugars, and many, many of us are probably suffering from hormonal and other imbalances. All of these could be affecting your weight. HCG won't fix the underlying problems; it will just make things worse.
I've come to the conclusion that the only way to safely eat is to stick with whole grains, plenty of vegetables and some fruits, herbs, legumes, and coconut oil as a fat, and to completely avoid caffeine, soda, coffee, non-herbal teas, alcohol, most dairy, and meat (except in times of hunger or when food is scarce). If you eat right, you can get away with eating a lot of those good foods without putting on weight, so you'll never be hungry or send your body into starvation mode. You can research whether or not you feel you need supplements, but I also think that if you grow your own vegetables using organic mixed material compost, you most likely only need vitamin B12 supplements and occasionally some Vitamin D. Add exercise for muscle building and to keep yourself happy and in good working order.
I'll let you know when I'm at my ideal weight if I'm right about the eating plan. Like Alice in Wonderland, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. I'm trying to solve my own issues with this desperate and nearly crippling fatigue from which I suffer, but if I can get that worked out, I think eating right and exercising will start producing the results I really, really want.
(I think I've written about my revised opinion of HCG on here, but I can't be bothered to check, so I might be repeating myself. Bear with.)
In short, the HCG diet is designed to kill a person. That's the honest truth. It's completely unsustainable, for one thing, because you are consuming only 500 calories a day. 500 calories is not enough for your body to live on, and because of that, your body will desperately fill your head with visions of sugarplums just to get you to quit starving it and eat something. Starvation does a number of terrible things to your metabolism and your internal organs. Starve long enough and there's a good chance that you won't be able to reverse the damage.
Because you're starving yourself, your body begins shutting down non-vital processes in order to conserve resources. You're also forcing your metabolism to slow down to a snail's pace. So while you're proud of yourself for sticking with your 500 calories a day and your dose of HCG, your body is cannibalizing your muscle tissue for energy, which is exactly the opposite of what you want. Muscle burns more calories than fat tissue, so building muscle is vital in a weight loss plan, but it's extremely difficult to exercise and build muscle when you feel like you are going to faint at any moment.
When you start eating like a normal person again, your body is relieved that you have enough food and is determined not to starve any more, so it packs on the increased energy resources as fat against future starvation. For 99% of people, you'll gain back more weight than you took off, but it will be fat tissue and not muscle tissue. You've just made future weight loss that much more difficult for yourself because now you're more jiggly-puff AND you've damaged your metabolism.
Meanwhile, you're probably wrecking some really vital internal organs. Since you need your liver and kidneys to function well, and because it's nice to have a gall bladder in good condition, quit the HCG immediately.
I've done a lot of research since my own experience with HCG. I admit I was desperate when I spent a lot of hard-earned dollars on this wonderful miracle drug that promised so much, and I did lose 12 pounds before I gave in to my need to eat enough to sustain me. Actually, what really stopped me during that second round of HCG was a strong spiritual witness that I was hurting myself needlessly and uselessly. I quit at that moment.
There are probably other health issues you are not addressing if you've been steadily gaining weight without changing your diet or exercise patterns. This is a toxic world, and I think a vast majority of us are in need of cleansing. We have parasites sucking the nutrients from our food and flooding us with toxic chemicals, we eat refined flours and sugars, and many, many of us are probably suffering from hormonal and other imbalances. All of these could be affecting your weight. HCG won't fix the underlying problems; it will just make things worse.
I've come to the conclusion that the only way to safely eat is to stick with whole grains, plenty of vegetables and some fruits, herbs, legumes, and coconut oil as a fat, and to completely avoid caffeine, soda, coffee, non-herbal teas, alcohol, most dairy, and meat (except in times of hunger or when food is scarce). If you eat right, you can get away with eating a lot of those good foods without putting on weight, so you'll never be hungry or send your body into starvation mode. You can research whether or not you feel you need supplements, but I also think that if you grow your own vegetables using organic mixed material compost, you most likely only need vitamin B12 supplements and occasionally some Vitamin D. Add exercise for muscle building and to keep yourself happy and in good working order.
I'll let you know when I'm at my ideal weight if I'm right about the eating plan. Like Alice in Wonderland, I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. I'm trying to solve my own issues with this desperate and nearly crippling fatigue from which I suffer, but if I can get that worked out, I think eating right and exercising will start producing the results I really, really want.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
I'm Really Not a Snob, but I Can't Claim I'm Not Lazy
Part of my church calling is to visit ward conferences. Since we have twelve wards in our stake, there's one ward conference per month. I get to hear a lot of different speakers and teachers present their thoughts, and there are some very dynamic teachers out there. Today, one of the other ladies in the Stake Relief Society Presidency leaned over to me during the Relief Society meeting and whispered, "This ward is always interesting to visit." We had enjoyed a lively discussion during Sunday School discussing Section 46 of the Doctrine & Covenants, and in Relief Society, we were talking about a General Conference talk by Elder Hales entitled "Being a More Christian Christian." Many of the women shared ways in which we LDS people can interact with our neighbors and friends.
In Utah, there are a lot of LDS people (Mormons). That's a fact. And with so many LDS people living nearby each other in neighborhoods, it often seems to the non-LDS neighbors that the Mormons are snobby and clique-ish. While there are always people in any group whose behavior makes you positively cringe with embarrassment, most LDS people don't actually intend to be snobby. We are busy, like everyone else, and as a result of our callings within our congregations, we often interact more with other LDS neighbors and not as much with the others. We know those members we see at least once a week at church, and that makes it easier. But then we often don't take the time to get to know our other neighbors. Or we're shy. Or we're afraid they won't like us because we're LDS. Or for whatever stupid reason, we never really follow up on our intentions to invite them over and get to know them.
On either side of me, I have non-LDS neighbors or neighbors who are baptized members but who don't attend church. I'm happy to say I know all of their names and we all get along fine with each other. But I have never asked them to dinner because I'm always aware of the fact that my house isn't exactly how I want it to be. Why I think they expect perfection from a woman with six kids and half the neighborhood hanging out in various rooms of the house at any given hour, I don't know. I have never forbidden my children from playing with non-LDS kids, but I haven't invited their parents over because I'm tired, the house is not tidy, and I get too stressed out about making everything lovely and perfect. What a sad excuse.
I grew up in Northern Minnesota, where LDS people are few and far between. I had friends who knew nothing about my church or who had very odd ideas based on rumors and myths they'd heard from uninformed people. Most of the kids I went to school with were Catholic or Protestant or Jewish or didn't affiliate themselves with any religion in particular. If they had questions about what I believed, I had no problem answering them. It never occurred to me that they would be offended at my beliefs, and they never were. Puzzled, maybe, but not offended. It was great to go to church on Sundays and worship with people who believed like I did, but I was not afraid of people who were not LDS.
I'm not afraid now, either. I'm tired, though. And lazy. And busy. And so I probably seem snobbish and clique-ish to my neighbors, even if I wave and smile at them or share a few comments about the weather or the one neighbor's amazing home-grown tomatoes.
Anyway, we had a very interesting discussion in Relief Society, and yes, that ward is always fun and interesting to visit. You never know what's going to happen or what someone's going to say. I love that. It was a great day at church and I felt spiritually fed. Maybe one of these days I'll feed the neighbors.
In Utah, there are a lot of LDS people (Mormons). That's a fact. And with so many LDS people living nearby each other in neighborhoods, it often seems to the non-LDS neighbors that the Mormons are snobby and clique-ish. While there are always people in any group whose behavior makes you positively cringe with embarrassment, most LDS people don't actually intend to be snobby. We are busy, like everyone else, and as a result of our callings within our congregations, we often interact more with other LDS neighbors and not as much with the others. We know those members we see at least once a week at church, and that makes it easier. But then we often don't take the time to get to know our other neighbors. Or we're shy. Or we're afraid they won't like us because we're LDS. Or for whatever stupid reason, we never really follow up on our intentions to invite them over and get to know them.
On either side of me, I have non-LDS neighbors or neighbors who are baptized members but who don't attend church. I'm happy to say I know all of their names and we all get along fine with each other. But I have never asked them to dinner because I'm always aware of the fact that my house isn't exactly how I want it to be. Why I think they expect perfection from a woman with six kids and half the neighborhood hanging out in various rooms of the house at any given hour, I don't know. I have never forbidden my children from playing with non-LDS kids, but I haven't invited their parents over because I'm tired, the house is not tidy, and I get too stressed out about making everything lovely and perfect. What a sad excuse.
I grew up in Northern Minnesota, where LDS people are few and far between. I had friends who knew nothing about my church or who had very odd ideas based on rumors and myths they'd heard from uninformed people. Most of the kids I went to school with were Catholic or Protestant or Jewish or didn't affiliate themselves with any religion in particular. If they had questions about what I believed, I had no problem answering them. It never occurred to me that they would be offended at my beliefs, and they never were. Puzzled, maybe, but not offended. It was great to go to church on Sundays and worship with people who believed like I did, but I was not afraid of people who were not LDS.
I'm not afraid now, either. I'm tired, though. And lazy. And busy. And so I probably seem snobbish and clique-ish to my neighbors, even if I wave and smile at them or share a few comments about the weather or the one neighbor's amazing home-grown tomatoes.
Anyway, we had a very interesting discussion in Relief Society, and yes, that ward is always fun and interesting to visit. You never know what's going to happen or what someone's going to say. I love that. It was a great day at church and I felt spiritually fed. Maybe one of these days I'll feed the neighbors.
Monday, April 15, 2013
I'm Cuckoo for Coconuts!
My poor family. I start reading something or other, and if I get excited about it, they have to listen to me cement the information in my head by explaining it to them at great length. My blog is supposed to partly relieve that pressure, but if I don't manage to write it all out, my family gets to hear me process it.
"You talk a lot about things like this," said Elannah one day. I think she had me all to herself and must have asked just the right question to set me off on some pet topic. "Sorry," I said, sheepishly. "No, it's okay," she said. "You're excited about things and that's okay." She is an energetic and busy 12 year old. Sitting around listening to old people talk is not her idea of fun.
Sian is far more complimentary. She'll come and ask me a question about something or other, and then off I go on a long spiel. It's not a harangue; I mean, let's be clear. I'm not lecturing her or the other kids on what they should do and why they're doing things wrong. I'm answering the question and then offering evidence to support a specific opinion I've come to. So after I've talked and talked and Sian has sat and listened very patiently, I'll stop and say, "Wow. I'm so sorry you had to endure that," and she'll answer with perfect sincerity, "No, Mom. I like hearing you talk. You're very intelligent and I always learn a lot. I wouldn't ask you a question if I didn't like to hear the answer you give." Such a bright, bright child.
I've discoursed at length about all kinds of subjects. Recently, my FIL and I discussed the 2nd Amendment and why Americans find it so important. He's a Brit, and he thinks in an entirely different way about the whole thing, so it was enlightening for both of us. I've also been thinking about the Word of Wisdom, which is the LDS (Mormon) code of eating (in a nutshell: plenty of plants and whole grains, very little meat, and no alcohol, tobacco, or strong drinks like tea or coffee). I read a book a couple weeks ago called The China Study, which is an example of excellent and thorough scientific research, and it agrees with the Word of Wisdom, though the author hadn't the slightest inclination of it. Boom.
My latest thing is coconuts. I happen to love coconuts and coconut products. I considered it a superfood before I found out it really is a superfood. You can throw the husk in your compost pile for its plentiful nutrients, the water is incredibly healthful, the meat is delicious, and coconut milk is a staple in my pantry. I've started using coconut oil instead of any other vegetable oils (and certainly instead of margarine or shortening, which are anathema to me). Even the refined, deodorized coconut oil I can get from my local grocery store is working for me.
I'm very tempted to start listing all the reasons why coconut oil is amazing and wonderful, but I'll limit myself to the fact that I've lost four pounds by using coconut oil instead of any other fat (except a little butter). I try to eat three tablespoons of it a day, and it's definitely increased my energy and endurance (which are both abysmal). It all starts with medium-chain triglycerides (MCT) as compared to the long-chain triglycerides (LCT) and how they act in your body. MCTs in coconut oil encourage the body to burn fat as fuel, where LCTs in vegetable and other hydrogenated oils encourage your body to store fat. MCTs boost metabolism and provide the saturated fat that your cells require to work. Read a book like The Coconut Diet to get a more thorough understanding of it all.
I made my own coconut milk yesterday, in fact. I then used it to cook up a batch of my favorite rice pudding. Husband said it was the best rice pudding he's ever eaten, and he never says things like that on a whim, so I know he was serious. And fortunately, my mom and grandma have really enjoyed talking about coconuts with me. My parents, brothers, and grandma come over for dinner and they get an earful of whatever it is I'm thinking about. The fact that they keep coming over says to me that either they're gluttons for punishment or they are really, really great about forgiveness. Good thing. I'm not sure I'll ever change.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Enjoying the Journey for Today
I've been reading George Eliot's brilliant Middlemarch during the pauses in the last few days. I love the old English classics for several reasons, and one of them is because they are so different from modern fiction. No one writes like that anymore. No one today would dare make a three or four paragraph aside to the reader, leading them through various philosophical studies before meandering back to the plot at hand. No one takes pages to cover all the aspects of a feeling or thought so that you end up leaning back in satisfaction and savoring the incredible insight wrought so simply and acutely before your eyes.
I get into a strange mood when I read stuff like this, however. George Eliot, in particular, was an incredibly keen and sharp observer. She holds up her characters to a very bright light, allowing us to see every single facet, good and bad. I always walk away from a reading session feeling faintly ridiculous. Here she is describing all my own little faults and foibles through the medium of her fictional creations; and even if she does love them overall, I can't help but do a lot of self-introspection and examination to see if I'm really as weak as all that. Yes. Yes, I am. But I might have a few of their strengths, as well, let us hope.
Husband is playing his ukelele. He's always wanted the joy of being able to play an instrument, and he knows how much I love ascending into a musical trance while playing the piano or cello. So he thought about it and thought about and then selected the ukelele. He already knows guitar chords, so since he got his ukelele, he's been able to immediately sit down and play and sing. I've loved hearing him spend hours enjoying himself. Right now, all the kids are in bed (except the two oldest, who have a bedroom in the basement and who are far more autonomous with their bedtimes), and Husband is accompanying himself while singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."
I get into a strange mood when I read stuff like this, however. George Eliot, in particular, was an incredibly keen and sharp observer. She holds up her characters to a very bright light, allowing us to see every single facet, good and bad. I always walk away from a reading session feeling faintly ridiculous. Here she is describing all my own little faults and foibles through the medium of her fictional creations; and even if she does love them overall, I can't help but do a lot of self-introspection and examination to see if I'm really as weak as all that. Yes. Yes, I am. But I might have a few of their strengths, as well, let us hope.
Husband is playing his ukelele. He's always wanted the joy of being able to play an instrument, and he knows how much I love ascending into a musical trance while playing the piano or cello. So he thought about it and thought about and then selected the ukelele. He already knows guitar chords, so since he got his ukelele, he's been able to immediately sit down and play and sing. I've loved hearing him spend hours enjoying himself. Right now, all the kids are in bed (except the two oldest, who have a bedroom in the basement and who are far more autonomous with their bedtimes), and Husband is accompanying himself while singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."
Monday, April 8, 2013
Good-bye, Dear Gandalf
This weekend was General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. When I was a kid in Idaho, we borrowed someone's little, portable black and white television to see it (my parents didn't believe in owning a television almost the entire time I was a child) or we used the radio. In Minnesota, we went to the chapel to watch it broadcast on satellite, since having a satellite in those days was only for the wealthy who had enough of a yard to support the huge dish. Now, of course, living in Utah, we can see it on television or cable or satellite, stream it on the internet, or get it on radio. Since we relegated the big-screen back to the basement family room and we have refused to pay for satellite or cable television for several years now (and the antenna doesn't work very well down there), and because the computers aren't in places where it is possible for all the family to watch at once, we ended up listening to the radio. I felt a little like we'd traveled back in time.
Conference was good and I loved the talks, but I wasn't completely focused this time. Along with the worry about my MIL and her operation (she's doing fine, by the way), there was an emotional upheaval about one of the kittens. Gandalf, the little white kitten, was obviously not well. He had stopped eating and was getting progressively weaker. He hadn't grown and thrived like his siblings, and I suspect it was because his rib cage was malformed. Yu is a very small cat, so it's possible that being squished in her small womb with two other kittens may have caused this malformation, which then made it very difficult to breathe, which made it impossible to eat, which made him weak and small. However it came about, it was obvious he wasn't going to make it much longer. Most of the kids were beside themselves with grief, and they spent the day taking turns holding him carefully as he slept.
By evening, his breath was coming slower and slower. Husband and I left to take Jazzee (our day dog) back to Ruth's house, and by the time we got home, Gandalf was gone. Elannah has taken it the hardest. I don't think she went for more than a few minutes yesterday without tears falling down her face, and she was still distraught this morning. I was harsh and forced her to go to school, as I did with all the children including Gabrielle, who was certain last night that she wouldn't be able to get through school without bursting into tears.
We lay his tiny little body on one of his kitten blankets in a shoebox and covered him with another blanket. Joseph, after a burst of inspiration, ran upstairs and printed off a picture of Gandalf, which we placed in the shoebox as well. Services and burial will be held this evening.
Conference was good and I loved the talks, but I wasn't completely focused this time. Along with the worry about my MIL and her operation (she's doing fine, by the way), there was an emotional upheaval about one of the kittens. Gandalf, the little white kitten, was obviously not well. He had stopped eating and was getting progressively weaker. He hadn't grown and thrived like his siblings, and I suspect it was because his rib cage was malformed. Yu is a very small cat, so it's possible that being squished in her small womb with two other kittens may have caused this malformation, which then made it very difficult to breathe, which made it impossible to eat, which made him weak and small. However it came about, it was obvious he wasn't going to make it much longer. Most of the kids were beside themselves with grief, and they spent the day taking turns holding him carefully as he slept.
By evening, his breath was coming slower and slower. Husband and I left to take Jazzee (our day dog) back to Ruth's house, and by the time we got home, Gandalf was gone. Elannah has taken it the hardest. I don't think she went for more than a few minutes yesterday without tears falling down her face, and she was still distraught this morning. I was harsh and forced her to go to school, as I did with all the children including Gabrielle, who was certain last night that she wouldn't be able to get through school without bursting into tears.
We lay his tiny little body on one of his kitten blankets in a shoebox and covered him with another blanket. Joseph, after a burst of inspiration, ran upstairs and printed off a picture of Gandalf, which we placed in the shoebox as well. Services and burial will be held this evening.
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