Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes...

You may see my blog morphing through changes. Do not be alarmed. My lack of technology genes is combining with my need for something different. All that can result is a riot of chaos, but this chaos will not affect you in any discernible way (unless, of course, I accidentally push the wrong button and then BAM!)

That is all.

I'm Not Planning to Riot. Are You?

Here's something worrying: I have a friend in the military who says they've been trained numerous times in the past few months on riot control. He is stationed in California. Along with all the other stories about military being trained for domestic policing purposes, this makes me veeeery nervous.

Here's something else: I can't stand this blog format anymore. Not only is it confusing, it's just all...gray. Boring. Bleah. I might be changing that very soon.

That is all. I cannot sit here and type any more words on this computer today. I will probably go absolutely and unequivocally nuts if I don't get up and do something else -- even if it's laundry.

I Kind of Miss Deja Vu

Remember deja vu? That odd feeling you've been in that situation before, saying those words, listening to someone else say those words? It's a strange sort of minute or two.

I was talking to my friend, Dennis, last week, who happened to be in town for a family reunion and whom I haven't seen since the college years, and the subject came up. We compared notes and realized neither of us had experienced deja vu in a long time -- several years, in fact. Since we're roughly the same age, I wondered how many others in the 40-something category have quit having those deja vu moments. Or is it just us?

He mentioned that he'd read someone's near-death experience (he couldn't remember whose or I would go and find the exact quote for you), and the author stated that deja vu happened because we'd been given an overview of our lives before we were born. That assumes, of course, that each of us existed in some coherent, intelligent state before being born on earth (which I happen to believe, since I believe the soul is eternal), but it doesn't answer the question of why deja vu would stop after a certain age. In my case, and assuming what the author said is correct, did I see enough and say, "Yes! Sign me up! I'm ready to go"? Or did I make a turn somewhere on my road of life and choose a different path, thus negating any future deja vu moments because I'm now treading new ground?

I don't really care either way. I was just wondering why the deja vu thing was over for me, but if I have another deja vu moment, I'll be sure to note it with surprise and curiosity. Now that I'm really aware, I'll be looking.

T

This makes the 10th time I've begun this post. The only reason for all the false starts is that I am writing so much for work that I can't stop editing myself into oblivion when it comes to writing for my own pleasure.

But just so you know, I'm still here. And here are some highlights of my summer thus far:

I gave myself a very effective pedicure with Husband's orbital sander and some fine-grit paper. If you have been assuming that combining power tools with beauty maintenance is a win/win situation, you are absolutely correct (exhibit A: the power sander for facial skin cleansing that's all the rage on infomercials). It was a bit ticklish, and one must keep the sander moving constantly to avoid burning the skin, but now I can confidently wear my strappy leather heels without feeling at all self-conscious. Plus, it saved hours of sitting around using a hand file, even if I justify the watching of a movie during that type of pedicure.

Sian and I have been taking an organ playing workshop from Linnea. Our skills will be put to the test on Sunday during church.

Husband landed an agent for his book! The agent is now pitching the book to purchasing editors of major New York publishing houses. This is a huge step, and we've been very pleased, but we haven't started spending money like he's J.K. Rowling just yet. Meanwhile, Husband has completed the outline and first few chapters of the next book in the series, which his agent strongly encouraged. While Husband thought selling a standalone from an unknown author would be easier, the agent told him that in the YA fantasy genre, they're happy to get series (serieses?).

I'm just a little bit overwhelmed with my to-do list of responsibilities lately.

For your information, this post took me nearly three hours to complete. Maybe editing can turn into a disease at some point: you become so worried about getting it just right that you can no longer write anything at all, and eventually my blog posts -- when I publish anything -- will consist of a single word. Or letter.

"MOM?? You're going to climb a rock wall?? At your age??"

Today I climbed an entire rock wall. The National Guard set up a climbing wall in the parking lot of a local grocery store. Why not? I thought. Even if I'm (mumble) pounds overweight, I'm going to give it a shot. In fact, the whole family gave it a shot. I am proud to say that I made it all the way to the top despite a sudden and nearly paralyzing fear that the wind would blow the entire structure down on top of me. I pushed the button and I earned my National Guard lanyard fair and square.

See? That's me.

Husband, Elannah, and Sophia also made it all the way up, Elannah and Sophia multiple times. But everyone tried, including the little boys.

Here's Elannah just getting started on one of probably three or four climbs.

Above, from left: Elannah, Husband, Joseph, and Sian. We dominated the wall.
Below: Joseph had had enough, but Husband kept going.

Shoulder Angel, Take a Bow!

Somehow, the word has been going around that I'm great at putting together posters and flyers for events. So far, I've been put in charge of three publicity committees relating to stake and regional church activities.

The problem with this is that I have explained over and over that it is not I who has the skills, it is my husband. He's the one who is a whiz with Adobe Illustrator. All I do is say, "My dear, I need to create a flyer, and by I, I mean you. Can you help me?" And he sits down at his computer and I sit nearby on the Total Gym to give him moral support (which, sadly, is the only time I touch the Total Gym) and within 15 minutes he's put together something fantastic. Everyone oohs and ahhhs at the finished product and I modestly flutter my eyelashes at their compliments and make it a point to remind them that all I did was cheerlead and tell Husband what information needs to be included. But people don't listen to that part. I guess, as the messenger handing over the finished flyer, I get all the glory.

I find it truly unsettling to be given credit for skills I just don't have and couldn't even begin to fake in a pinch.

The other day, I was attempting to sing. Sure, I can read music and carry a tune, but what comes out of my mouth is nothing like what I would love to hear coming out of my mouth. I am extremely aware of the difference between reality and fantasy in my singing abilities, and you'd never catch me showing up to one of those reality television show auditions absolutely convinced of my phenom status only to become the butt of a horrible joke. For a second, I was tempted to feel badly about myself, but decided I really didn't want to go down that road. It's just so depressing, and I don't have time to be all depressed about stupid things. Therefore, I was able to hear Shoulder Angel reminding me that I do have talents and skills in other areas, talents I have worked hard to improve, even if they aren't always as polished as I impatiently wish they were.What's even more exciting is that I could add to my arsenal, given enough time and quality practice.

Husband can manipulate Illustrator better than I can play the piano. He has spent time and effort learning it and utilizing it. If it was important enough to me, I could learn it, too. And he could learn to play the piano and read music. I've signed Sian and myself up for a course in playing the organ, which is being taught by Linnea, who is fantastically talented musically and in other ways. She is sharing her talents and I get to improve mine. Human life value is exploding all over the place!

24K Food Analysis

My in-laws are all settled in their new home, and things are getting back to normal again. It's very nice having them just down the street.

My mother-in-law (MIL) showed me something she's been doing. She's been "gold-chaining" her food, and it's really working for her. I had never heard of it, but being the enthusiastic learner of all things light and energy, I took to it right away. My FIL and Hubby? Well, they're far more skeptical, although they see it works for MIL and can't deny the results.

What you do: hold a gold chain (must have some real gold in it, even if it's a lower amount) over whatever food it is you wish to test. It's best to stand or sit at a height where you are not stretching or straining to hold the chain. Tuck your elbow into your side (for support) and hold the top of the chain (or a gold pendant that is attached to the chain) with your thumb and first finger on your dominant hand so that it is hanging vertically over the food. Keep very still. After a bit, the end of the chain will begin to swing back and forth, eventually turning in a circle. If it's a counter-clockwise circle (or "anti-clockwise," if you're British), the food isn't good for you. If the chain swings clockwise, it's something that will benefit your body. A few times, I've watched the chain swing back and forth but never circle. Since it happens over and over with those particular foods, I figure swinging with no circling means the food is neutral -- neither beneficial nor detrimental.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "You loony nut, the phone's ringing. It's the 60s, and they want their hippies back." Fair enough. Read on and decide for yourself.

MIL has had a touchy stomach for a number of years. The wrong foods will cause her stomach pain, so she's very careful about what she eats. When a friend of hers suggested using a gold chain and a doctor admitted that though he sees no logical reason why it should work, many of his patients use this with great success, she decided to try it. She immediately found that avoiding foods that were not beneficial according to the chain has nearly eliminated her stomach pain. She'd avoided pain altogether for a while until I cooked a family dinner last Sunday and roasted the carrots in vegetable oil (I had forgotten to buy coconut oil). The carrots are fine, but vegetable oil is a no-no for her. She liked them so much she still had some, but she paid for it.

Curious, I bought a gold chain and put on it a gold heart locket I've had for years so I could try it for myself. It's been a very unscientific study, but the results are very interesting. I tested things I already knew I can't comfortably eat (cow's milk, bananas) and things I know make me feel good (almond and coconut milks, quinoa). I don't have a clue about most foods, so I've been trying everything, including separate ingredients and combinations. Grapes are neutral for me, but I'm a "go" for cherries. Almond and coconut milks are, indeed, beneficial for me, but quinoa merited a resounding counter-clockwise circle. NO! I love quinoa! Corn is a no, and so is pork. Chicken and turkey are okay. Butter is good but mayo and shortening are bad. And so on. MIL's and my results are often not the same, but, then, we have two very different blood types. For instance, she's okay for eggplant, but I got a negative result. She's okay with corn and pork, too.

I realize how this sounds, and I'm writing this a little tongue-in-cheek. For the record, I also tested the dining room table (neutral) and my own arm (definitely a no). I still have the chain in my pocket, and I'm testing just about every food I eat out of curiosity. (Also curious: I found the chain doesn't work very well if it's been stored near money. When I keep it away from coins and close to my skin, it seems to work better and faster.)

I figure it's merely another form of kinesiology. You can do a similar test on foods by holding up one arm parallel to the floor while holding the food (or another edible substance, like liquids or medication) in question in your other hand. If another person can push your extended arm down easily, the food you're holding is not beneficial to you. If you can resist the push, the food is beneficial. It's all about energy, and I'm far more inclined to believe this sort of thing is efficacious because of my reading on quantum physics. And besides, it's just fun. Great for parties.